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I think that most loneliness suffered by those on the ends of the IQ spectrum isn't related to their intelligence at all, but coincidental.
Take Aspergers' folks for instance (such as two of my nephews): their social challenges and their intelligence are both caused by their condition; one doesn't cause the other.
In my own experience, our own perception of our intelligence -- good or bad -- is a social life's worst enemy. Low self-esteem can be just as off-putting as arrogance.
Before I stopped working when the kids came along, I worked at a school for bright kids with severe dyslexia. Most of these kids, even with the dyslexia bringing down some of the subtest scores in the standard IQ tests, were, at the genius level. But many of them had nearly non-existent social skills. They were, many of them, unable to understand social cues and would stand way too close or laugh inappropriately or get overly angry at something very small. Many had trouble figuring out how to make friends and keep them. They could tell you how, in fine detail, how to build a cantilever bridge, but didn't know how to make any kind of small talk at all. Because I worked with the younger kids, I never saw them when they got to the dating stage, but I can imagine that some of them would have a significantly more difficult time than others. And it wasn't their intelligence because they were among the most intelligent kids I had ever worked with.
One of our jobs as teachers at that school was to help the students with their social skills. The had two recesses per day for 30 minutes in length. The purpose was so the kids had free social time to play, make friends, and just be kids. All the teachers were on duty at different places on the campus to help out any situations that might arise. We worked hard to help the kids understand how to make friends and talk to people because it didnt' come naturally to many of them.
I've often wondered how many of my former students are. I know one is an accountant and another is a teacher at the school where I used to teach. None of my former students is married yet. And I know they DO get married because dyslexia is somewhat an inherited issue - many of the parents were also dyslexic and many severely lacked social skills themselves! Not to say that ALL dyslexic people have social issues becuase I met many who were exceptionally personable, and were, in fact, gifted siocially. But many were not.
For myself, I've never been lonely and, at one point in my life (prior to kids,) my IQ was tested at 138. Whoever said it has more to do with EQ, I agree.
Before I stopped working when the kids came along, I worked at a school for bright kids with severe dyslexia. Most of these kids, even with the dyslexia bringing down some of the subtest scores in the standard IQ tests, were, at the genius level. But many of them had nearly non-existent social skills. They were, many of them, unable to understand social cues and would stand way too close or laugh inappropriately or get overly angry at something very small. Many had trouble figuring out how to make friends and keep them. They could tell you how, in fine detail, how to build a cantilever bridge, but didn't know how to make any kind of small talk at all. Because I worked with the younger kids, I never saw them when they got to the dating stage, but I can imagine that some of them would have a significantly more difficult time than others. And it wasn't their intelligence because they were among the most intelligent kids I had ever worked with.
One of our jobs as teachers at that school was to help the students with their social skills. The had two recesses per day for 30 minutes in length. The purpose was so the kids had free social time to play, make friends, and just be kids. All the teachers were on duty at different places on the campus to help out any situations that might arise. We worked hard to help the kids understand how to make friends and talk to people because it didnt' come naturally to many of them.
I've often wondered how many of my former students are. I know one is an accountant and another is a teacher at the school where I used to teach. None of my former students is married yet. And I know they DO get married because dyslexia is somewhat an inherited issue - many of the parents were also dyslexic and many severely lacked social skills themselves! Not to say that ALL dyslexic people have social issues becuase I met many who were exceptionally personable, and were, in fact, gifted siocially. But many were not.
For myself, I've never been lonely and, at one point in my life (prior to kids,) my IQ was tested at 138. Whoever said it has more to do with EQ, I agree.
what I tell my kids is that all any test measures is how well a person can take that particular test on a given day. I discourage them from placing too much weight on ANY test measurement of any kind, including IQ, including grades, including GPA.
It used to drive my ex-husband nuts that (a) my IQ was higher than his and (b) i wouldn't tell him what it was and also (c) that i said it was a meaningless measure.
I encourage my children that what is most valuable is a good heart, kindness, respect, courtesy. I want them to live happy lives with fulfilling relationships. No test can measure or improve that in any regard.
I'm just curious about extremes and how they may adversely affect people socially. I know those at the level of retardation have trouble interacting and wonder if the other end of the spectrum feel isolated too. At an average I.Q. of around 90 I think it would only stand to reason that those in the above ranges wish from time to time that they could scrape above the eyelid and enjoy the level of acceptance average people enjoy.
My IQ is about 135, I can't remember exactly as the tests were so long ago. Anyway, I get along with all types of people, but prefer to be with other thinkers. I don't think that I am lonelier for being smart, if anything, I am more comfortable being alone than my dumber or more average friends. My dumber and average IQ friends seem to need the company of others more, are not smart about who they pick as their friends, and also have a greater need to party regularly in order to feel that their life is fun and full or meaning.
Being smart, I also seem to be a luckier person as I have commonsense and avoid the usual problems with life that dumber people have. I think that they could easily avoid their problems if they thought more about their actions before doing them.
Not sure what my IQ is. I'm assuming normal. However, I like to keep up to date on current events and such everyday. SO whenever I had a conversation with a guy, they were like "wow your pretty smart and can carry a conversation". I guess they wanted/expected a bimbo???
My dumber and average IQ friends seem to need the company of others more, are not smart about who they pick as their friends, and also have a greater need to party regularly in order to feel that their life is fun and full or meaning.
Not sure what my IQ is. I'm assuming normal. However, I like to keep up to date on current events and such everyday. SO whenever I had a conversation with a guy, they were like "wow your pretty smart and can carry a conversation". I guess they wanted/expected a bimbo???
Unfortunately it's a difficult concept for most guys to wrap their heads around that a dancer can have a superior mind.
Eh...maybe. My IQ is about 154, and I am a huge introvert.
Maybe those with higher IQ's prefer to stay home and read as opposed to going out drinking with friends whose IQ isn't quite as high?
Just a theory.
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