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Maybe not for you but that doesn't mean someone else doesn't need help.
One difference in your situation and this girl's situation. You had a husband who would come home at night. I believe she's alone. Perhaps the idea of being alone and completely responsible for this baby is too much for her.
I also exclusively breast fed my babies but my husband was still some help (unless you count the time he fell asleep while on duty and our 2 year old decided to carry her newborn sister across the house to me because daddy was snoring men!!). I knew ther'd be another adult coming home at 6:00. I knew that if I had been holding a crying baby all day he could, at least, hold her while I showered. He could change a diaper, etc, etc, etc... I can't imagine being alone with a newborn. Especially your first.
I understand what you're saying but this girl doesn't live totally alone. She lives with her grandmother. Unless the grandmother is really old and feeble or disabled I would think she would be a little bit of help. And where is the daddy while all of this is going on?
OK, I breast fed my son (no bottles at all) for the first 6 months of his life- so I was the ONLY one who could feed him. My husband at the time worked 12 - 14 hour days - so I was the only one holding my son all day (and he wasn't a good sleeper). My mom stayed for 2 wks after he was born and then went back to her house in another state. So, it's nice to have help, but definitly not necessary.
I was a breastfeeding single-mom too. This thread is making me realize I didn't give myself enough credit. 3 live-in women taking care of 1 baby? I should have had a big "S" on my chest.
I was a breastfeeding single-mom too. This thread is making me realize I didn't give myself enough credit. 3 live-in women taking care of 1 baby? I should have had a big "S" on my chest.
Yes, there are women out there who do it ALL BY THEMSELVES. Kudos to you!
I understand what you're saying but this girl doesn't live totally alone. She lives with her grandmother. Unless the grandmother is really old and feeble or disabled I would think she would be a little bit of help. And where is the daddy while all of this is going on?
I'd go with grandma probably isn't much help if she has adult grandchildren. If dad's not there, dad's not there. Honestly, if it were my daughter, I'd probably be doing the same. I'd want to make sure she had everything under control before I left her on her own.
It can take months for your hormones to settle down after a birth. The daughter may be struggling with depression. Unless you know some reason why this particular girl should be able to handle this particular situation without help, you can't really say she doesn't need the help. And grandma may simply want to give it. This is a big deal. That's her grand baby.
Time will likely correct this. If mom is having problems coping, she should figure it out. If grandma is just getting into being needed, that should wear off. I'm afraid it's too soon to call this one.
SO I assume Rob is in LOVE with this woman and during this tumultuous time ROB is most concerned about getting laid??? REALLY??
Its things like this that make me GLAD to not have a brain donor oops, man in my life.
Having said that the other side of this is that it does seem excessive that it takes the babies Mother, the babie Grandmother and the babies Great Grandmother to take care of this newborn. I assume this is a healthy normal baby??
Getting up at night with a baby is one of the consequences of having children. I think the new mother needs to embrace it rather then shoving it off on anyone who will line up for duty.
Then again maybe Laurens Mother just doesn't care as much about Rob (I have to get laid at all costs) as he does about her. Maybe she is using this as a way to distance herself or have some time away from him.
very tough situation the kid needs help. it is very sad that people have boyfriends and kids but they don't grow up. its like adulthood is not a requirement for sex and parenthood. the new mother and the absent boyfriend should have a problem but they dont, instead the grandmother has a problem, that does not, somehow seem fair. but to answer the thread question. the unrelated BF of grandma. buddy throw her a life preserver be kind be generous be compassionate but don't jump in the water with her .she and the others will drown you in a jiffy.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 07-09-2008 at 07:38 PM..
SO I assume Rob is in LOVE with this woman and during this tumultuous time ROB is most concerned about getting laid??? REALLY??
Its things like this that make me GLAD to not have a brain donor oops, man in my life.
Having said that the other side of this is that it does seem excessive that it takes the babies Mother, the babie Grandmother and the babies Great Grandmother to take care of this newborn. I assume this is a healthy normal baby??
Getting up at night with a baby is one of the consequences of having children. I think the new mother needs to embrace it rather then shoving it off on anyone who will line up for duty.
Then again maybe Laurens Mother just doesn't care as much about Rob (I have to get laid at all costs) as he does about her. Maybe she is using this as a way to distance herself or have some time away from him.
While I agree that the baby's mother should be the one caring for the child, if she doesn't, someone else has to because the child suffers if she doesn't.
I have more than one neighbor who is raising grand kids because their kids turned out to be jerks who can't care for their own children. Not a situation I would like to find myself in but I'd do it if I had to.
While I agree that the baby's mother should be the one caring for the child, if she doesn't, someone else has to because the child suffers if she doesn't.
I have more than one neighbor who is raising grand kids because their kids turned out to be jerks who can't care for their own children. Not a situation I would like to find myself in but I'd do it if I had to.
What I don't understand is why encourage this entitlement mentality and enabling behavior among today's young people.
If I had gotten pregnant at any point in my young life and been unmarried and unprepared to take care of or support the baby, I would have been encouraged to put the baby up for adoption, marry the baby's father or just plain figure this one out on my own.
As great as my parents were - they WOULD NOT have stepped in to "rescue" me or my child - AND I KNEW THAT. Consequently, I did not allow myself to be found in that situation.
Today's teens and young 20-somethings don't suddenly become "jerks" - they are being raised to believe they are never responsible for their own actions - this kind of behavior doesn't happen overnight - grandparents who are raising their own grandchildren are many times just reaping what they themselves have sown. Sorry, that is just the way I see it.
Why are you so worried about Rob and if he is getting any nookie? Are you thinking of filling in for Nancy?
First of all, go screw urself for making that comment.
Second, I made this whole thread because I'm really getting tired of Rob coming over to our place and keep complaining to my BF and me about this situation, when we keep telling him that he should have put his foot down BEFORE the baby was born.
Why don't you read the first thread before making such RUDE comment, ASITSHOULDBE?
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men!!). I knew ther'd be another adult coming home at 6:00. I knew that if I had been holding a crying baby all day he could, at least, hold her while I showered. He could change a diaper, etc, etc, etc... I can't imagine being alone with a newborn. Especially your first.
