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I know a couple that is just a really odd pairing. The wife has a Master's in Social Work and is very much what you'd call an "intellectual". She keeps up with current events, reads all the time, has a strong political involvement locally, is into artsy fartsy things..
Husband is a high school dropout which means nothing in and of itself (I am one for that matter)... but he is, oh how can I put this without offending? Well he's just kind of slow. I wonder how she can carry on much of a conversation with him... it's not a lack of "book smarts". He has no interests outside of watching wrestling and drinking beer, and what some would call "low brow" humor/sitcoms/comedians. He doesn't watch the news, read the paper, or have any idea what's going on with the world unless his wife fills him in. He seems to lack ambition, content in his production job. I honestly don't think he'd be capable of grasping much of anything beyond 10th grade level learning.
The things they do together are simple, like watching an action flick, going out dancing, or taking their kid to the park. She has this whole other social existence that doesn't involve him to feed her need for art shows and activism and so forth.
I know that sounds horribly mean and I'm not trying to put this guy down... people are what they are and it doesn't make them "good" or "bad". I'm just wondering about the strange match with these two. They seem quite happy and he's a very NICE guy and a good husband and father. They also seem to have a very strong "chemistry" and sexual attraction.
I'm just curious though, is that enough for a long lasting marriage?
Anyone have experiences to comment on this either way?
Last edited by fierce_flawless; 07-09-2008 at 07:17 PM..
Reason: Punctuation
Well, my boyfriend and I have many differences in our education levels. I am a college graduate, and he, in fact, did drop out of high school. We never have an issue finding things to talk about though. He is very intelligent, and knows much more than me about certain topics. I believe that we complement each other quite well. Our differences benefit both of us, and enrich our relationship, in my opinion.
First off, the author's idea is that compatibility is most important and no amount of "communication" can keep non-compatible people together. I believe in that. He's talking about 3 dimensions of compatibility: practical, sex, and wavelength. It may surprise many, but a lot of marriages survive on only practical or sexual compatibility. Out of the 2-dimensional ones, practical/sex compatibility accounts for the most common successful marriages, particularly when the partner longing for more in the lacking (wavelength) area can find fulfillment in his/her own activities and relations outside of the marriage.
What may come as the biggest surprise is that compatibility on the practical level appears to be the biggest deal-breaker - yeah, those stupid, mundane things like who eats what, who goes to bed at what time, and numerous others at first sight minor daily activities. Those tend to irritate people the most as they happen most often.
I know a couple that is just a really odd pairing. The wife has a Master's in Social Work and is very much what you'd call an "intellectual". She keeps up with current events, reads all the time, has a strong political involvement locally, is into artsy fartsy things..
Husband is a high school dropout which means nothing in and of itself (I am one for that matter)... but he is, oh how can I put this without offending? Well he's just kind of slow. I wonder how she can carry on much of a conversation with him... it's not a lack of "book smarts". He has no interests outside of watching wrestling and drinking beer, and what some would call "low brow" humor/sitcoms/comedians. He doesn't watch the news, read the paper, or have any idea what's going on with the world unless his wife fills him in. He seems to lack ambition, content in his production job. I honestly don't think he'd be capable of grasping much of anything beyond 10th grade level learning.
The things they do together are simple, like watching an action flick, going out dancing, or taking their kid to the park. She has this whole other social existence that doesn't involve him to feed her need for art shows and activism and so forth.
I know that sounds horribly mean and I'm not trying to put this guy down... people are what they are and it doesn't make them "good" or "bad". I'm just wondering about the strange match with these two. They seem quite happy and he's a very NICE guy and a good husband and father. They also seem to have a very strong "chemistry" and sexual attraction.
I'm just curious though, is that enough for a long lasting marriage?
Anyone have experiences to comment on this either way?
Whatever works. It does seem a little odd, but hey life is a strange mystery at times. I once had a very intelligent supervisor I worked for. Smart man, knew how to sit in a meeting and absolutely run it, and he wasn't even in charge! He's the kind of guy that could solve problems and make you think you came up with the idea. I don't mean that in a swarmy kind of way.
But when it came to relationships, he picked the biggest train wrecks of women you could imagine. So, I guess if they work more power to them.
Education means absolutely nothing to me when it comes to dating. However, if she is really "slow," it's not going to work. I don't have much patience for "slow" people.
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 38,766,834 times
Reputation: 7185
Quote:
Originally Posted by fierce_flawless
Just curious what others think of this.
I know a couple that is just a really odd pairing. The wife has a Master's in Social Work and is very much what you'd call an "intellectual". She keeps up with current events, reads all the time, has a strong political involvement locally, is into artsy fartsy things..
Husband is a high school dropout which means nothing in and of itself (I am one for that matter)... but he is, oh how can I put this without offending? Well he's just kind of slow. I wonder how she can carry on much of a conversation with him... it's not a lack of "book smarts". He has no interests outside of watching wrestling and drinking beer, and what some would call "low brow" humor/sitcoms/comedians. He doesn't watch the news, read the paper, or have any idea what's going on with the world unless his wife fills him in. He seems to lack ambition, content in his production job. I honestly don't think he'd be capable of grasping much of anything beyond 10th grade level learning.
The things they do together are simple, like watching an action flick, going out dancing, or taking their kid to the park. She has this whole other social existence that doesn't involve him to feed her need for art shows and activism and so forth.
I know that sounds horribly mean and I'm not trying to put this guy down... people are what they are and it doesn't make them "good" or "bad". I'm just wondering about the strange match with these two. They seem quite happy and he's a very NICE guy and a good husband and father. They also seem to have a very strong "chemistry" and sexual attraction.
I'm just curious though, is that enough for a long lasting marriage?
Anyone have experiences to comment on this either way?
Clearly, you are describing a man with great unseen talents... And by great unseen talents, I mean an epic johnson.
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 38,766,834 times
Reputation: 7185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
That's odd. I read, somewhere long ago, that husbands and wives are usually within 5 IQ points of each other. I would find that paring odd.
I've read that as well. It makes sense that the human pair-bonding process would result in a distribution with tolerances that close. If someone doesn't stimulate you conversationally when you first meet or impress you as either an intellectual peer or superior, what are the chances that you will wind up married? It seems that the only logical conclusion is that she met his epic johnson before she met his brain.
I've read that as well. It makes sense that the human pair-bonding process would result in a distribution with tolerances that close. If someone doesn't stimulate you conversationally when you first meet or impress you as either an intellectual peer or superior, what are the chances that you will wind up married? It seems that the only logical conclusion is that she met his epic johnson before she met his brain.
Or, perhaps, that he did stimulate her intellectually, in a way that she had not previously known? Maybe she is into literature, while he is into graphic design (or some such field that she is not well-versed in).
Being stimulated conversationally, to me, also means learning new things about that person, and new things about yourself.
To me, that is interesting, stimulating, and gratifying.
Oh...also... A COMPLETE TURN-ON.
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