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Hey, I was shy. Once. Seriously, talking to girls takes practice, just like anything else in life.
Here's how you do this with confidence.
1) Stop approaching girls with an agenda in mind, or with techniques cribbed from 1001 Surefire Pickup Lines. Girls have pretty good antennae for those things, especially if they think you're being insincere.
2) Treat her as a person, not a potential bedmate. As in look at her eyes, not 18 inches lower.
3) Once you're on solid ground with her, and you find that you like her, then flirt a little. No cheesy lines. No innuendo. Just the natural course of conversation. Of course, unless she starts flirting outrageously with you. Then anything goes.
4) Again, your objective is not to bed her. It's to know her. If you've had a great conversation with her, and she knows it as well, then you've really made progress. She'll be excited to see you again.
Forget about finding a girlfriend and start dealing with your shyness first. Not that shyness is a bad thing, its quite endearing and I think that’s why you have female friends rather than girlfriends.
I was similar to you, to shy to talk, people actual thought I was stuck up rather than quite. The way I learnt to deal with it is by asking loads of questions (not too many personal ones!) and in that way the person got to talk about themselves (which lots of people love to do!) and I had very little talking to do myself. Don’t worry it takes time to build your confidence up.
I am always attracted to the confident guys, not the loud and egotistical ones, but the guys who like themselves and who are having a good time.
So all am trying to say is build up some confidence and you will be irresistible, trust me!
How old are you? I think that girls are better relationship company once they hit the age of 25 years old. Generally less drama and game playing as they develop confidence and know better what they want in a boyfriend.
Dating is tough for all of us in the beginning. I'd say that first make a couple of really good female friends who can be like sisters to you and give you some dating advice from their perspective. If they really like you, maybe they can hook you up with one of their friends. Also, don't rush into dating the first girl that is willing to spend time with you. Take your time and only date a girl that you really click with in personality and common interests. Also, don't make the mistake of spending lots of money on her too soon. Don't give her gifts on your monthly anniversaries etc... you don't want to spoil her and turn her into a materialistic greedy girlfriend. If she won't spend time with you unless you are paying for her meals and buying her gifts, then she doesn't like you for who you are... so never date a girl like that.
Otherwise since you are shy, you might want to get involved with some extracurricular co-ed activities that you really like and are comfortable doing. Then find a girlfriend that likes the same activity. This way, the two of you have interests in common and things to talk about. When someone is shy, it helps to have non-romantic common interests to talk about and do with each other. And don't try to emulate the relationships of your more outgoing and confidant friends. Every relationship is unique.
Where were you all this while. That was my mistake and I'm paying for it big time.
I tend to like the shy guys! I don't like guys who have plans on finding a girl and talking her into being his girlfriend! LOL! Dude, take life day by day! There is a perfect girl out ther for you and you dont have to subscribe to a dating service or go to a club to find her! I would like to think there is someone perfect for me out there and I sure hope he is not tryin to find me on an online dating service cause I am not there! Getting out and meeting people is a great idea, I really should try it too but I would not do it for the purpose of finding a girlfriend or boyfriend in my case. I am kind of a loner and I ususally get along with people who are similar in personality to me. My first boyfriend and I met outside of a mall where he was takin a smoke break and I was just getting some fresh air! He started a conversation trying to be funny but came accross rude and I enjoyed the awkwardness of the whlole situation! He asked me why I burnt the tupac poster that was layin on the ground (the poster was layin there burnt before either of us came outside) and I told him I didnt do it and pointed out that he was the one with the lighter. He then threatend to put his cigarette out in my eye. I am allergic to cigarette smoke so I never even considered that the goofy guy outside puffin away on his cigarette would be the first person I fell in love with. Most guys that approach me are very cocky or try using stupid lines like "my friend wants your phone number" I usually respond to that with " tell your friend to grow a pair and come ask me himself!" I promise if you avoid try to say the right thing or use the right line you will have much luck making friends and possibly finding a girlfriend.
[quote=SouperStar34;4474935]Here are tips that will actually HELP you.
1) Stop being a clingy wimp.
2) Become a challenge (ie don't always call her... be patient and let her call YOU).
3) Create an BUSY interesting single life that a girl wants to be a part of (You don't NEED a girlfriend... a girl NEEDS YOU)
4) Create a cocky-funny sense of humor... never talk serious with a girl in the early dating stage.
5) Create numerous options for yourself and never focus on one girl until her interest level is so high she is BEGGING YOU to be with her.
ROLF! as a teen I was doing EXACTLY the opposite : when I was keen on a chick, I stared at her stupidly, and the girl usually said to me : "hey, dude, do you want my picture ?" and then I blushed and the girl looked at me with contempt, lifting her shoulders, and turned heels.
The worst part of the story is that when ultimately a nice girl approached me, I snubbed her out of revenge for the other one who had humiliated me. I 've realized since that it was a stupid way to "eetle scores", and that I was the one who was on the losing side in the end.
2) Become a challenge (ie don't always call her... be patient and let her call YOU).
3) Create an BUSY interesting single life that a girl wants to be a part of (You don't NEED a girlfriend... a girl NEEDS YOU)
4) Create a cocky-funny sense of humor... never talk serious with a girl in the early dating stage.
5) Create numerous options for yourself and never focus on one girl until her interest level is so high she is BEGGING YOU to be with her.
ROLF! as a teen I was doing EXACTLY the opposite : when I was keen on a chick, I stared at her stupidly, and the girl usually said to me : "hey, dude, do you want my picture ?" and then I blushed and the girl looked at me with contempt, lifting her shoulders, and turned heels.
The worst part of the story is that when ultimately a nice girl approached me, I snubbed her out of revenge for the other one who had humiliated me. I 've realized since that it was a stupid way to "eetle scores", and that I was the one who was on the losing side in the end.
Don't worry I was doing it even in college... then I saw the light. Now I have had so much more beautiful quality girls... and guess who does the choosing ; )
1) Win the lottery. Then they'll be approaching you.
2) Never, ever, ever follow her for fifteen minutes in the grocery store before making your move. Otherwise, you might get whacked in the head with a bag of frozen peas.
3) Bad conversation starters include, "Is that your real hair?" "I killed a man once." "Have you been saved." and "Hi, can I interest you in a Whole Life policy?"
4) Don't talk about the following: Your membership in the Society of Creative Anachronism, your high score on ANY computer game, your latest Dungeons and Dragons character, your Mother, your hamsters, or the total devastation you felt over the last girlfriend you had.
5) Just look and act a lot like me. Works like a charm, buddy.
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5 good points
