Doing something you never thought you would have to do....

[Raggy dee Ann]

Originally Posted by cinderobyn

I do not have other options.

If you understood the severity of what she did. If you witnessed what happened, you would understand.

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me that night, the first time, if not for my son. The second time, I held onto her for as long as I could, I should have let her go, let her run away, into the street, but I couldn't. She bashed her head into mine three times as hard as she could.

I made it to the ground.

She went after someone with a knife. After punching them in the head repeatedly. What did they ever do to her?

What did I ever do to her besides love her and care for her?

She is a somewhat victim in this. She did know that if her behavior persisted, that she would have to live with him. This waqs known to her in advance.

I may sound like a cruel person, a terrible mother, so be it.

I cannot let my son fear for his life in his bed, and I don't want to do that either.

I suppose I am an abuser. If her living with him is me being an abuser, I am an abuser.

I do not feel as though I am, for the record.

Why do you keep repeating yourself and torturing yourself (and us) with the details? You aren't going to get any help on this board. Contact social services tomorrow to begin the necessary steps to get her, you and your son help. If not I have no sympathy for you.

Gosh I hope I'm not responding to a wind up because my mind has gone numb trying to figure out what's going on

[bluegrassgirl]

I don't think Moonsavvy is saying you're a terrible mother. I do think that folks are having a difficult time understanding what is being done for your child that is obviously very troubled. Also, what is being done for your son that has witnessed all this? There are many things and dynamics in your family that need addressed for the sake of all. What is being done besides arguing back and forth and splitting the kids up?

[professorsenator]

What a difficult ordeal -- I can only imagine the pain you are feeling, cinderobyn. But I offer this support: you are 100% right to distance yourself from your daughter. Her behavior requires immediate professional intervention. The level of violence that you have described is shocking -- she needs to be in proper psychiatric care where she cannot pose a threat to herself or others. Brandishing a knife as you have described is an extremely serious crime, a felony. It is behavior that is totally intolerable and unacceptable, and just sending her to her dad is NOT enough. I would recommend an immediate call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 (their web page is: National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) - Break the silence, make the call. ). They should be able to provide you with the number of the family services organization in your state, and they may be able to provide other helpful information.

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by himain

Cinder-I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this. I have to agree with some others on this though. Your daughter needs professional help and the only way you are going to get it is by calling them. She cannot continue to physically attack you and others at the age of 12. She is old enough to know this isn't right and she needs to be held responsible for it. EVEN if it means juvenile jail. It would probably be best for her honestly. The next time she attacks you or anyone else, you need to call the cops and baker act her. You need to document everything by pictures, going to ER, video, police reports. I know it will be hard but it is the ONLY thing to do as she is a danger to society and herself. I don't think you could live with yourself if she killed her brother or an innocent person.

As far as the exhusband, you need to document when he calls, what he says, etc. Keep a log and when you go to court, you pull it out and say this is what I've been going through, etc.

Please keep us posted and keep being strong. You know there's people on here who care..

She does need professional help. She does know right from wrong. She has been warned about juvenile detention and jail. Pictures were not taken of all of my bruises either time, but it is documented in two of my medical charts from the first time.

I could not live with myself if she killed my son or some other innocent person, nor could she.

I do not feel that what I have done is wrong. I did the best thing I could do at the time.

I should have had the police take her that last time. They asked me if she was a threat to herself. They did not ask if i wanted her taken.

Had I said she was a threat to herself they would have not thought twice, and would have taken her.

I do not think she is a threat to herself.... yet.

Only to the people around her. I do not think she will do these things at her fathers place either.

I hate to say it, but she is afraid there, of her father. She would never disrespect he or his family, and never would she do the things she has done to me.

[Pikantari]

Originally Posted by professorsenator

What a difficult ordeal -- I can only imagine the pain you are feeling, cinderobyn. But I offer this support: you are 100% right to distance yourself from your daughter. Her behavior requires immediate professional intervention. The level of violence that you have described is shocking -- she needs to be in proper psychiatric care where she cannot pose a threat to herself or others. Brandishing a knife as you have described is an extremely serious crime, a felony. It is behavior that is totally intolerable and unacceptable, and just sending her to her dad is NOT enough. I would recommend an immediate call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 (their web page is: National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) - Break the silence, make the call. ). They should be able to provide you with the number of the family services organization in your state, and they may be able to provide other helpful information.

Thank you very much.