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Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
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I'm at the end of my rope. 44 years old and have spent most of my life dateless/unmarried (maybe 70 to 80% of it). It seems that being in a relationship with someone special is just a part of life, normal, like working, walking and paying taxes.
Why am I at the point where it seems like just a dream, like winning powerball or something like that? There seems to be something very wrong and unfair there?
Is being in a loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex (or same if that's your preference) a normal part of life.
I honestly don't believe there really is someone for everyone. I am trying to keep my standards up and refuse to settle anymore, but this may make me almost dateless forever.
Well, being happy with who you are and dateless is better than being miserable and settling. I would suggest you concentrate on you and doing things that you enjoy. That way if you do meet someone, he/she will be someone who enjoys what you enjoy.
I agree, you have to be happy just being yourself first before you add someone else to the mix. I would spend time doing things you love, sports, volunteer, church and see if you don't meet someone who enjoys the same things that you do.
Sometimes having some great guy friends is almost as good as a relationship.
If you haven't found anyone special yet, then you need to change your daily patterns of movement. I'm 49 and have a great boyfriend. But I've just started a new job and if I were single, I'd have no lack of male attention. Try a part time job or be a volunteer worker. Or take an adult ed class in anything. Go out and meet new people, but no with the intention of finding romance. People obviously hungry for romance seem scare others off. Just work on having a good time with your new friends and don't forget to be a good listener. Laugh and smile a lot. Have patience and see what develops.
There really is someone for everyone but as previously stated happy people attract others. Think a moth to the flame idea. As far as what is normal-it is what you are comfortable with in your own world. You might want to figure out what you would like in a partner-make a list-and then just set it aside. Sometimes we can attract the person we are looking for when we have a better idea who/what they are. In my opinion settling never works in the long run-you end up feeling cheated and the person you are with doesn't feel valued. Sorry circumstances for both people. Good luck to you.
I spent 16 years single and had pretty much written off finding a soul mate. Then...when I least expected it...there she was. I think it has a lot to do with the "looking" or "finding". When I pretty much quit looking, searching, finding, she appeared like magic!
I'm at the end of my rope. 44 years old and have spent most of my life dateless/unmarried (maybe 70 to 80% of it). It seems that being in a relationship with someone special is just a part of life, normal, like working, walking and paying taxes.
Why am I at the point where it seems like just a dream, like winning powerball or something like that? There seems to be something very wrong and unfair there?
Is being in a loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex (or same if that's your preference) a normal part of life.
I honestly don't believe there really is someone for everyone. I am trying to keep my standards up and refuse to settle anymore, but this may make me almost dateless forever.
I'm right there with you on that one.
After two disastrous attempts at marital bliss, I have decided that at least for now, at least until lightening strikes when my eyes behold THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME, I will remain on my own. I would rather that then the complete and utter nightmare of having the WRONG person annoying the you know what out of me.
Sir I was in your same situation in 1996 at age 39. I made the mistake of setting standards that I felt were acceptable in 1988 after I removed the last so called female from my life. By 1998 I was 41 single no prospects that were acceptable and depressed enough to start doing crud like doing 110 on the freeway on my bike with no helmet.JUST FOR A THRILL. Then I decided to choose what was the most important thing for me and I prayed. I also started to ignore those women that were around me in the city I lived in. I was lucky in the fact that I was somewhat finacially comfortable so I was not working a 40hr week. But I still set my sights on what I wanted. A woman to be the mother of our children. I didnt smoke or drink but she could if she respected my space reference to second hand smoke. The drinking had to be light social type only. I was not going to babysit a drunk. I started checking out single moms who were willing to accept that I was not prince charming and brad pitt. What I was to them was a secure homelife for their children. NOT A free ride to rich schools and high society. I was lucky after 4 bad choices to meet my lady. IT was in a social chat room and she had my initials so I said hi jd I am j d too. We had common interests in motorcycles and I flew her out to my home for the love ride held at glendale harley davidson. She was 24 and I was 41. She had just dumped a 6 year relationship because he did not want marriage or kids. I wanted both and I told her that, the first night we talked. When she flew out she knew I was ready to start a family so our sex was unprotected as we both knew we were std free. We had enjoyed 3 months of daily conversation online and she reinforced I had made the right choice by the fact that she was babysitting her older brothers little girl during most of our talks. 4 weeks later she had moved into my home for good and 2 weeks later she tested positive for pregnancy. Thats 10 years ago. We now live in her town in a nice home and my daughters are 5 and 9. I drive semi for a living and we have a good life.
ALL I can say bro is be direct. Be willing to say exactly what you want and be willing to be a parent. The most precious gift you will ever know is when your newborn child looks into your eyes and smiles and coos as she grabs your finger.
My kids are more important then my bikes my cars or any part of my old life. And my lady gave us the gift our our kids.
I wish you success in your search and pray you will find my type of happiness. Remember it took me 10 years of hard looking to find my lady.
Last edited by tbaarr; 07-20-2008 at 07:53 PM..
Reason: spelling
others cannot make us happy.
when we put all our energy into finding someone that will truly keep us happy amused entertained.
who is both funny witty balanced well poised a multitasker eager to please amusing.
---he looks like this
pdclipart.com
free clipart
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my special lady
