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Old 07-27-2008, 12:14 PM
 
1 posts, read 7,988 times
Reputation: 13

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It all started 6 years ago, we met randomly at a party and I never really paid too much attention to her, iI'm gonna call her Tina. My best friend was dating one of her friends and one thing led to another and I wound up dating another one of her friends. We broke up after dating for a while and I was a bit depressed because apparently her friend cheated on me. I still went out with Tina and her other friends because of the relationship my best friend had with one of her friends. She eventually became very close to me and was my best friends for a really long while. I dated other women and she dated other guys as well and life was good. Things started changing as we kept going out more and more. One thing led to another eventually she became my girlfriend.

I'm gonna describe a bit more of Tina, she is like my friends used to say, a goody two shoes kind of girl. She is is very religious, family oriented and a great student. She doesn't drink or smoke. It can be said that if you want to set a role model for moral standards it would basically be her.

On the other hand, I am not religious, I have what could be called not optimal relationship with my family, I like to go out and party and drink. I don't smoke though and well I'm a guy and like most men I like women and I enjoy intimacy. Back then I was not really a great student.

She was going to a girls only school when we started going out together and I was in co ed high school. We went out for 2 years and we loved each other. A major problem at least for me was that our sex life was well, null. I was going nuts because of this but I held my ground pretty well and even though I spoke to her about it nothing really changed and I was exploding, I have the shame to admit that I did cheat on her, but I never told her. Sex was not what I was looking for in the relationship, I loved every aspect of her personality and she is a fun person to go out with. We both went to college and well I found myself influenced by her in some way now I'm top of my class.

Still I felt guilty about cheating on her, now she was going to college which is coed and well it was a bit of a change for me, but it didn't really affect me but I had to adjust. Eventually I broke up with her, I felt trapped in the relationship even though I loved her, I felt like I was not living my life and I really felt guilty about cheating and wanted to squeeze the juice out of life and not have any regrets or anything undone so when the moment to really commit to someone I could do it happily and moving on to another phase in life. I remember telling her that I had met her when I was older.

So well the breakup was not really nice,we tried to get together some weeks after that but she felt uneasy and it didn't work out. We agreed not to see each other for a while but we talked from time to time. I dated another girl and time went on. One day she called me and asked me to meet her, she told me she wanted to get together with me, but I said no, I told her I was just not ready, even though I had stopped seeing the other girl I was dating. She like just popped back into my life and I felt uneasy. That wasn't the end of it though, we kept going out and and some point it did really felt like we were together again. The problem was that I was going away to study abroad for some time, I did told her that I wanted to go back with her, but I really felt uneasy because well I was going and well we both though it was a stupid idea.

So I went away, before going she gave me a picture of her. We kept talking over skype and msn, and we sent emails to each other, but it became less constant as time went by. I did party a lot while I was abroad, I had fun and did well in my studies and nearing my time when I was going back we got in touch more often.

So I came back and we saw each other but it was wierd, she told me that there was a guy hitting on her, but she kept telling me she loved me and so on. Anyways I knew I was acting weird when I came back it was just so many changes, different lifstyle everything most of my friends had girlfriends and it was wierd just being back. She accused me of being different. She now has a relationship with this other guy.

I accepted it and we stopped talking for a while but we started to talk eventually, at some point she started sending text messages to me like "Hey I just saw this thing that reminded me of you and such" and it became a bit too constant. I wanted to meet her to talk about it but she felt uneasy as she was still on a relationship, I got pissed and eventually sent her an email saying that the situation should stop and that we shoulnt make contact for a while for it was hurting me.

I couldn't do it, I missed her so much. When I came back I was really looking forward to having a much more serious relationship with her. Anyways I contacted her and we talked over the phone sometimes and it was nice. Then she stopped taking my calls, but I was not calling her like 60 times a day to like force an answer. I did it just from time to time. Though she sometimes sent me text messages but saying nothing just a smiley or something. One day she picked up and I invited her for coffee. She said that she really didn't feel it was right and that it was unfair to her boyfriend, but that she really enjoyed talking to me and such, she said that she was surprised by the email and that she had accepted it but then out of the blue I just started contacting her again.

I really miss her, I just feel happier around her, I think about her all the time and I really want to be with her I just don't know what to do anymore. She has been going out with this guy for almost 6 months now, I'm afraid of losing her, it just takes my sleep away. I need advice...
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Old 07-27-2008, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,677,349 times
Reputation: 24104
I think you both missed your chance. Move on.
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Old 07-27-2008, 01:28 PM
 
233 posts, read 827,809 times
Reputation: 90
Why not just ask her to break up with the other guy and get back with you?

What's the problem here?
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Old 07-27-2008, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Jersey in da Citi!!
874 posts, read 3,680,691 times
Reputation: 474
Yeah, be honest and put your heart out there before its too late. 6 years is a long time..give it a shot and see what happens.
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Old 07-27-2008, 02:09 PM
 
233 posts, read 827,809 times
Reputation: 90
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP7 View Post
Yeah, be honest and put your heart out there before its too late. 6 years is a long time..give it a shot and see what happens.
Yup!

Do it, OP!

"Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once." --- from Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar"
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Old 07-27-2008, 02:50 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,770 posts, read 40,188,037 times
Reputation: 18106
Either ask her to marry you or move on. I see no point in just dating her. Either go for it (marriage) or stop thinking about her. You've both had YEARS of the courtship., so enough already!!!
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Old 07-27-2008, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Southern California
15,080 posts, read 20,484,127 times
Reputation: 10343
I think you need to have one, long, deep conversation with her that explains where you are coming from and what you want. Also, I would repeat to her everything you wrote her (except for the cheating part - you dummy). It appears that you have a heartfelt desire to have her by your side forever. Unfortunately, you made a series of decisions and followed a course of actions that have, perhaps inadvertently, allowed her to drift further and further away from you; there may be no coming back. Be prepared for the two of you to part ways permanently.

Good luck.
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