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I mentioned about just my wife & I going for the weekend. Well, it's now down to one night. To go somewhere nice would be a 5hr drive, malls and sit down restaurants. Total time= 10hr drive'n time, 3-4hrs in a mall, 1.5+hrs at restaurant, sleep, get up and head home(drive incl. in drive'n time).
10hrs drive'n, 6hrs of mall and meal. I don't think it is worth it, she does. I think she wants to go "just to go". We could drive 1hr, movie, and be back home w/out a motel. And yes, by this time I know what will happen in the motel..........sleep and that is it.
Would you want to drive 10 for 6?.........and a motel?
. I don't think it is worth it, she does. I think she wants to go "just to go".
the key phrase here is what she wants and it is worth it to her
so if you decide not to go it is basically saying to her what she wants does not matter and is unimportant, and you are dismissing it and her as not worthy
it's not about logic
i have no idea if this post or decision relates to a celebration, or her picking something fun to do on a date, or what. Only you know the big picture of the relationship and what this date is about, and what led up to it, both this night out, and all the other leisure or date time you have together. Sometimes it's not what you do on the date, but letting someone pick and doing something to please them.
if you're always the one that picks where to go and what to do, she could be ticked off (and with good reason). if you're always dismissing her ideas as not making sense, ditto. if it's your birthday and your celebration then you picking makes sense. so it's not about this one decision it's about the relationship and all the other times too and what it means to each of you.
one of the best dates i ever went on was when someone said to me, "you pick where we go" and we did. It wasn't about whether we got pizza or went to the beach, it was about me getting to pick and this person in effect saying, "It is important to me to please you and do something you want" and that spoke VOLUMES to me, the person's willingness and thoughtfulness to ask, to listen, and then to follow through and do.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 07-31-2008 at 01:08 PM..
the key phrase here is what she wants and it is worth it to her
so if you decide not to go it is basically saying to her what she wants does not matter and is unimportant, and you are dismissing it
it's not about logic
i have no idea if this post or decision relates to a celebration, or her picking something fun to do on a date, or what. Only you know the big picture of the relationship and what this date is about, and what led up to it, both this night out, and all the other leisure or date time you have together. Sometimes it's not what you do on the date, but letting someone pick and doing something to please them.
I don't find it worthwhile and wouldn't do it myself, but I'm with DimSum, I guess...
Sometimes, a relationship requires sacrifices for the other person. You may not want to do it, but she would very much like to.
Make the sacrifice and do it with love in your heart (not resentment) and you'll see a very nice reward... a happy wife. And happy wives are the best kind of wives.
I mentioned about just my wife & I going for the weekend. Well, it's now down to one night. To go somewhere nice would be a 5hr drive, malls and sit down restaurants. Total time= 10hr drive'n time, 3-4hrs in a mall, 1.5+hrs at restaurant, sleep, get up and head home(drive incl. in drive'n time).
10hrs drive'n, 6hrs of mall and meal. I don't think it is worth it, she does. I think she wants to go "just to go". We could drive 1hr, movie, and be back home w/out a motel. And yes, by this time I know what will happen in the motel..........sleep and that is it.
Would you want to drive 10 for 6?.........and a motel?
If your wife would like to get away for an overnight trip, can you do something to make it more exciting? Like drive and surprise her with a nicer hotel. Or with a spa session or something really nice and special.
Or if what she wants to do is shop, are there any malls closer to where you live? I guess I'm confused as to why you have to drive so far just to go to a mall?
Do something more exciting for your wife - make a bit of effort and be gracious about it!
Good luck and enjoy yourself as well - sometimes it is fun just to get away.
the key phrase here is what she wants and it is worth it to her
so if you decide not to go it is basically saying to her what she wants does not matter and is unimportant, and you are dismissing it and her as not worthy
it's not about logic
i have no idea if this post or decision relates to a celebration, or her picking something fun to do on a date, or what. Only you know the big picture of the relationship and what this date is about, and what led up to it, both this night out, and all the other leisure or date time you have together. Sometimes it's not what you do on the date, but letting someone pick and doing something to please them.
Very good point. Dang! I was wrong again.
I suppose I should get a room w/a little "hot tub" in it too, huh? Bubble bath stuff, too I suppose.
Sound like a trip from hell to me, but dim is right. Your going because its what she wants. If it makes your feel better, I hang out in greasy garages swilling beer with his friends and watch Walker Texas Ranger, because thats what he wants to do. Im sure he would drive 5 hrs to take me to a mall if thats what I wanted to do. Have fun.
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Very good point. Dang! I was wrong again.
, because thats what he wants to do. Im sure he would drive 5 hrs to take me to a mall if thats what I wanted to do. Have fun.
