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I'm sorry . He can't just unplug and expect you to stay......I would definitly suggest marriage counseling....if he won't go then you go. At least then you will be able to say that you really tried.....Marriage is 100/100 and sorry if I sound corney but it really is give and take.....can't be one sided and both need to be fully plugged in. Compromise is a two way street anything less is a recipie for disaster.....work on him with the counseling thing......best of luck to you, it's hard,,,, I know....
My parents sound something like that. But my parents refuse to get divorced. My dad gives my mom 10 dollars a day for groceries....because he says "If I give you enough money for the whole week everyone will eat too much just because its there" He flips out sometimes if she doesnt bring back change : 0 She waits on him hand and foot. He yells from his office (not working, playing games) "I need milk!!!" and if she doesnt bring it right away "HEY!!! Im still waiting for my milk!!!!!!" I personally couldnt stand that. He makes good money when he works but he says he doesnt like working which is why he lives on ten dollars a day....and thats for 5 people. My mom mows an acre yard by herself while my dad waves from the window. The kids use to help out but now with us gone, we have told her to tell him to sell the land and get a smaller place. This probably seems like it has nothing to do with your situation but everyone has a breaking point. I think if i was in my moms position i would have left my dad a long time ago. Theyve been married 26 years and hes never even remembered their anniversary once. If she does mention divorce, he threatens with suicide. I say you try to get counseling.
Hmmm, seriously this may be hard to see, but it APPEARS that the guy has his heart in the right place but is poor at expressing and explaining himself.
Not sure if that's a deal-breaker or not really.... As a man the part that bugs me is that it seems he's unwilling to listen to you and have a conversation. Marriages like this either break down over time or last forever with the woman in partial misery from what I can tell because the man has some sort of "plan" but refuses to let his wife in on what that plan IS...
He's forgotten the "partnership" aspect of marriage... Obviously the guy is stressed but try reminding him that you are on his side through all of this and him verbally beating on you isn't helpful...
Instead of threatening divorce or discussing going to marriage counseling try explaining this to him: That you are trying to be supportive but need to be let "in" as to what is going on. Are you tight on money??? Or is he saving a bunch of money so you all will have a comfortable retirement or something???
Bottom line is it seems like he's stressed and trying to balance out a LOT of ***** at the moment..... If you haven't already do your DAMNDEST to get on the same page with him...... His plans aren't diabolical and evil I'm guessing. I'll bet he's looking out for you all and trying to provide but him shutting you out in the process isn't the right way to go..
Threaten his a-s. Sorry, I'm in a punchy mood tonight, but tell him that he can either go to counseling with you or expect a dissolution of the marriage.
If I were you I would have a serious sit down with him. Expose all of your concerns and ask him what he intends to do to address them. If this doen't work then I suggest a marriage counselor. And if this doesn't work then consider your other options.
You sound young and you were probably not ready for all of this. Why did you get married so soon when he had someone else pregnant? You should leave him, go to school and get a decent job. You will be self sufficient and will not have to rely on a man for help. Plus, the stress from the other family is not worth staying around. I would definitely leave that situation.
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. He can't just unplug and expect you to stay......I would definitly suggest marriage counseling....if he won't go then you go. At least then you will be able to say that you really tried.....Marriage is 100/100 and sorry if I sound corney but it really is give and take.....can't be one sided and both need to be fully plugged in. Compromise is a two way street anything less is a recipie for disaster.....work on him with the counseling thing......best of luck to you, it's hard,,,, I know....
