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No attention can be worse than unwanted attention, sure. But in this case, Ceecee did seem rather disturbed by it. I think the problem is that Chinese guys can often be freakish and weird in their attentions. China’s got a pretty ****ed-up culture. There’s a vicious little tradition in the country of jilted lovers attacking the person who spurns them with acid, on the basis of `If I can’t have you, I’ll make sure no-one else will want you.’ Guys here often mix their wooing with threat of violence, sometimes to themselves but more often to the woman.
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Anonymous said…But what I really want to comment is your disgusting attitude against the Chinese men. They are completely false, just flat out wrong.
ChinaBounder - You argue well and there is a lot of truth in what you say. Yes, my friends are mostly men, not women, and so you are well within your rights to call me on it. You are also wholly right to point out that since I seem to talk to women in unhappy relationships, I will have a skewed perspective.
But as I have mentioned in my blog, I often ask my classes about this, and 70% of women or so do tell me Chinese guys lack passion. Bear in mind that this is 70% of a whole class, not just 70% of a group I have selected, of a group that has selected me. and these groups are not undergraduates alone, but range from high school pupils to senior managers.
Also I often talk about the type of cultural preconceptions you mention here in my classes. The general opinion seems to be the Western guys are more fun, more passionate, more creative – and much less trustworthy, decent, and honest. And Chinese guys are rather undemonstrative, passionless and stodgy – but much more reliable, trustworthy and family-oriented. Generalizations, of course, should never be believed wholesale, but often hold a grain of truth.
And perhaps you knew the special reputation Shanghai men have. They are held to be somewhat effeminate. Among the male friends I do have, I find northern guys to be much more interesting than southern guys.
What I often notice..especially with older Asian-Americans is this idea that all Asian-American males are chauvinist. From what I've seen it's actually the opposite and just shows how wide generation gap is between older AA's and AA's of today...I'm not saying that most asian females believe this..but many use this as reason to date outside their race. It really doesn't matter to me who dates/marries who, but I really hate when AAF...use this as an excuse that usually doesn't apply today..regardless of race. I mean come ooonnn..not only are AAM stuck with like a trillion different negative stereotypes..it seems every asian female..is quick to blame asian males as their sole cause for dating outside race.
P.S. To All Asian Americans I recommend finding your copy of the JOY LUCk CLub ..and burning it..better yet, watch Finding Nemo four million times till you forget you ever watched the joy luck club.
P.P.S. for anyone wondering what the #1 interracial couple is in California its AF/WM or AF/jewish male..trust me as a student at UCLA ..I can honestly say that the closer you get to westwood the more apparent it is, that every couple is AF/(whatever race isn't asian)-male. Ugly Caucasians Livng with Asians..I'm 100% serious when I say this, you can't go anywhere without hearing this common acronym especially when you're on campus.
P.P.P.S. If you're an asian male never ask an asian female if she'd ever date an asian guy because chances are she'll tell you asian males are chauvinist and automatically assume that you're bitter that asian girls don't like you..and definitely..definitely! don't ask out the asian chick wearing holister, large framed sunglasses,blond highlights and rainbow sandles because she 'll mostly likely tell you that she only likes white guys....not..all the time though..sometimes if you're lucky..she'll just reject you.
GO BRUINS!! and close this retarded discussion
Last edited by mc jam; 09-01-2008 at 08:17 PM..
Reason: adding word
What I often notice..especially with older Asian-Americans is this idea that all Asian-American males are chauvinist. From what I've seen it's actually the opposite and just shows how wide generation gap is between older AA's and AA's of today...I'm not saying that most asian females believe this..but many use this as reason to date outside their race. It really doesn't matter to me who dates/marries who, but I really hate when AAF...use this as an excuse that usually doesn't apply today..regardless of race. I mean come ooonnn..not only are AAM stuck with like a trillion different negative stereotypes..it seems every asian female..is quick to blame asian males as their sole cause for dating outside race.
In my case, even though I am 49, most of the Asian men I know are in their 20's. And they are indeed very male chauvinist (the Koreans are the worst imo), but then again male chauvinism seems to be on the increase with young white males also. When I was in my 20's, I don't recall encountering much male chauvinism with any American born males of my age.
In addition, there is a problem of ageism. With many Asian males, a single Asian female that is over the age of 30, is considered too old to date and marry. So we turn to white males that don't have a problem with our age. And most of them think that we look great for our age.
Oh sure thing slick-you've got it all figured out.
Since the "racial intolerance" in the country is just so unbearable for you what with all the shadowy threats by white men why don't you go out and do something instead of ranting on CD.
Peon?? Go back to world of warcraft.
Slick?? Sounds like you're stuck in the '70's.
You really don't think Hollywood sterotype minorties??
Must be just a coincidence that they never show any Asian American male doctors in any of those hopsital tv programs huh? Go to any hospital in any major city, at leat 25% of doctors are Asian males.
Get your head out from the ground
.
In my case, even though I am 49, most of the Asian men I know are in their 20's. And they are indeed very male chauvinist (the Koreans are the worst imo), but then again male chauvinism seems to be on the increase with young white males also. When I was in my 20's, I don't recall encountering much male chauvinism with any American born males of my age.
In addition, there is a problem of ageism. With many Asian males, a single Asian female that is over the age of 30, is considered too old to date and marry. So we turn to white males that don't have a problem with our age. And most of them think that we look great for our age.
LOL, from my observation. 50ish fat Chinese women who are married to fat white guys are most self loathing with no creditibility to back up anything they say. No stats, no proven research,nothing,nada,zip.
Who is we? So you and your sisters marry down since we don't want ya.
I had a great relationship with a really exceptional woman whose parents were Taiwanese. She was from Ohio and NYC. I am white, and she was the first and only Asian girl I've gone for -- despite knowing many of them. All of my other girlfriends have been white. She was the smartest, sweetest, gentlest, and perhaps most socially graceful woman I've dated. Possibly none of those things have to do with her being Asian, but maybe it does make sense that she was shaped by the culture of her own parents' relationship. Regardless, that relationship worked.
I had a great relationship with a really exceptional woman whose parents were Taiwanese. She was from Ohio and NYC. I am white, and she was the first and only Asian girl I've gone for -- despite knowing many of them. All of my other girlfriends have been white. She was the smartest, sweetest, gentlest, and perhaps most socially graceful woman I've dated. Possibly none of those things have to do with her being Asian, but maybe it does make sense that she was shaped by the culture of her own parents' relationship. Regardless, that relationship worked.
Honestly, even though a lot of guys won't own up to it, they will try for the asian chicks when some white chicks don't give them the time of day or act a little too goofy for their more reserved tastes...that's the truth. Always exceptions to the rule, but it's something in the back of peoples' minds. I am black, and my current girlfriend is korean, which is rare in and of itself in some areas. I have had girls say to me that I can't handle "a real black woman" so I had to find an agreeable asian chick, which is as far from her persona as can be, trust me.
Slick?? Sounds like you're stuck in the '70's.
You really don't think Hollywood sterotype minorties??
Must be just a coincidence that they never show any Asian American male doctors in any of those hopsital tv programs huh? Go to any hospital in any major city, at leat 25% of doctors are Asian males.
Get your head out from the ground
.
The 70's? Sorry, I wasn't even a thought in the 70's. Hollywood may stereotype minorities, but they also stereotype white people. Think of all the negative portrayals you've seen of southern white men. Regardless, there are so many more important issues to worry about in this country so why don't you worry about something that actually matters?
Hollywood also stereotypes Asian females as submissive geishas, a recurring theme in all it produces. With rarely any balance of three dimensional characters to offset the negatives.
It's difficult for whites to see and understand this unless it happens to them. It's really not their fault as it is white privilege which benefits them so they will not even care that the playing field isn't level since it doesn't affect them adversely.
And speaking about the olympics. It really pissed me off about all the China bashing that was going on and with the Tibet thingy. As far as the "underage" gymnasts are concerned, you yourself, Miu said you look younger than Caucasion women your age. Why can't the Chinese gymnasts look younger than the Caucasion gymnasts?
Why? Because the China bashers told you so. Do not take their word as gospel. Think for yourself. Lastly, if they were underage, where's the proof and where's the consequences?
Last edited by LadyRobyn; 09-21-2008 at 09:36 AM..
Reason: With all of the stereotyping and the name-calling, this one has run it's course...
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