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I checked out an email that my husband sent to some gal. I asked the counselor about it since I, like you, felt a bit guilty. She said, "nothing wrong when you are protecting your homefront". You don't want to be unaware. He may say there is nothing going on but this is behind your back and the person has disrespected you and he has not stood up to her on your behalf. Those are sure not good sign. I would confront him and see what is going on. Actually if I was able I would show up to where they are meeting and confront him!!!!
Whats appauling to me is that he knows that you are not fond of this woman..yet and still he's friends with her? Thats not right.
Also, who cares if you went snooping around..you felt the need, therefore, you did it and it was a good thing!! My fiance and I have each other's email passwords. Neither of us have a problem reading each other's emails because theres nothing to hide. Now your husband on the other hand... Please address this guy immediately.
How far away is he on business?? Can you just "casually" pop in?? (FYI-thats what I would do personally so they both can be confronted face to face, doesn't matter the distance)
How far away is he on business?? Can you just "casually" pop in?? (FYI-thats what I would do personally so they both can be confronted face to face, doesn't matter the distance)
Thank you for being honest about your own emotions and not going on a witch hunt.
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Originally Posted by veuvegirl
He and the girl still remained friends over the years.
First mistake.
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Originally Posted by veuvegirl
So he emailed her (didn't tell me) inviting her to meet him, and he would pay for it.
Second mistake.
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Originally Posted by veuvegirl
But question if I should even approach him, I feel like an idiot snooping, and know that nothing would happen between them, they are only friends.....
IMO, all past loves, flings, flirts and other sexual distractions should have dismissed in all fashions and forms, at anytime in the future, when you two got hitched. We all had those people in the past, but in the interests of keeping honest people innocent, it would have been wise for those two to break all contact, period, when you two got married. That didn't happen. Now there is the risk of bonding, and obviously future, um, events.
As a man, husband and father, it matters not to me that people call my wife and I from our pasts (before we were married). If we did not have those kind of people then I would question why. But the point is to handle them properly, and I for one could not be objective about the emotional problems of someone I used to crave/love/lust/whatever for, and I would place my body in fire if I did what your husband did. Even if he is well-intentioned, his body will take over because emotions are man's weakness, just as women's emotions take over because logic is woman's weakness. Get him out of there and talk about it alone. NOW.
The third mistake would be you not ending their friendship to save your marriage. Do not threaten. Remember that emotions are man's weakness.
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