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This reminds me of the time I took my son and a few of his friends to Applebee's for dinner. I am laughing so hard right now I have tears running down my face. The kids wanted to race to the door and we were parked at the far end of the lot. When I got out of the car I did not feel gassy at all but, when I started to run I farted with every foot that hit the pavement and it was loud. It was jog, rip, jog, rip,jog, rip. I started laughing so hard that every burst of laugh came more farts. The kids were laughing so hard I thought they were going to pass out. When we finally made it to the door, the kids asked "are you done yet" That was so funny, my son and his friends always remind with graphic sounds that that I am the jogging, fart mom.
Some years back I worked at a museum. I'm not sure what it was about that place but it seemed to attract some of the gassiest people in the world. Two incidents (among more then I can count) come to mind:
One time, I was standing in a gallery that was very quiet, other then the murmuring of people as they stopped to look at the various paintings. I noted one man standing alone in front of a painting, with several people nearby. Suddenly, he let one rip that was so loud that everyone in the gallery stopped dead in their tracks and looked around. The culprit seemed to realize that the activity around him had ceased and all he did was nonchalantly look over his shoulder and then return to his intense examination of the painting in front of him.
The next memorable event, I had stopped to answer a visitor's question and as they walked away, a man began to approach me. As he did so, I kept hearing a noise that I thought was his shoes squeaking on the tile floor that he was walking across. Well, when he finally got to me, strangely the noise did not stop. It was then that I realized he had been emitting these short bursts of gas nearly in time with his footsteps as he had been coming toward me. The worst part was that he kept doing it the entire time that he stood there, all the while calmly quizzing me about certain aspects of the museum. It took everything I had to control my urge to bust out laughing and answer that man's questions. As he thanked me an "putt-putted" back the way he came, I literally ran to the closest non public area that I could reach and laughed so hard for about 10 minutes that my stomach and sides actually ached.
I don't especially miss the job but it sure provided me with an endless supply of funny stories to tell my friends.
LOL-I'm a farter. It really only starts when the bf comes home. Maybe it misses him, I don't know..Its pretty odd. LOL
Alpis-I've used the matches before. It does work trust me.
you gotta be joking rite? oh dear... wow, ok then since more than one person says it works.
But im never gonna try it. I'll prob burn my ass.
yeah... i grudgingly agree that we might 'poot' every once a month or so. But that's only coz, the bf isn't treating us well to gd food.
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