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Gotta love threads pack full of demeaning stereotypes all the way around. I can only speak for myself but most of the dark, dark skin black women I've seen were rather beautiful. Maybe I just have a thing for the exotic
Face the facts. Discrimination has it's roots in sexual selectivity.
Any time someone says (to themselves or others), "Not my type" a discriminatory decision has been made.
This is why I'd argue you'll never "cure" discrimination, because it's roots are in are desire to make the right choices for ourselves. To some extent that *is* based on what we can see and that includes a lot of things that are politically incorrect to say.
I.e "I don't like nappy hair", "I don't like fat chicks", "I don't like skinny men." and so forth.
This is also why I argue it's possible to say things like, "I avoid race x" and *not* be a Nazi. I may simply be a biological dislike of the traits common in that race.
So then the darkest women should approach those of the white men who are considered to be the least attractive (by societys stupidficial sick standards) and then two deprived peoples can finally find love, bonding, marriage.
Stop living by societys standards on looks if those standards are ruining your chances for love. Make your own standards and find the beauty in what the fools consider "ugly".
Nice sentiment, but you *know* it doesn't really work that way. Well the part about two deprived people find love is somewhat true. How many fat chick/skinny male pairs do you see? Lots.
Unfortunately, "Love" with a a capital Hollywood "L" is for good looking, rich people. The rest of us end up compromising in one way or another.
Isn't it stupid to deny someone love because of the way that society rates their looks?
Isn't it stupid to let society tell you what is or isn't attractive?
Think for yourself.
Isn't it stupidest of all when a person who is considered unattractive/plain/ugly follows those social values and demands a socially attractive mate...........or no-one if he/she can't mate with someone of "good" looks?
Problem with your analysis is this. For most of us, what's sexy is pretty much similar.
People do not have "frames". That is a terrible thing to say that black women have larger frames. Its just that black women tend to not take care of themselves physically compared to other women. It may be better and more accurate to say that the average black woman is heavier/fatter than the average XXXXXX woman, and this is due to lifestyle, diet, exercise, etc.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, black guys seem to be much more physically active which in turn, is why they tend to be more muscular and very very little body fat. Black women, because they tend to not be active and enjoy eating, tend to be just the opposite of black males. So it really all just boils down to physical fitness.
Yes people do have different sized frames, LOL! They're called skeletons.
Doesn't mean big women can't be beautiful. I know one gal who is 6'1", maybe taller. But looks like Cyndi Crawford. She can pick *me* up when she hugs me.
But... I've had men in clubs tell me... "Geezus you have the prettiest girl in the room.
However, there is no doubt that her frame is Amazon size.
But... in a modeling photo, you can't tell that anyway.
And for the record, she's blond with brown eyes. (A really neat combo. Think Stevie Nicks. :-P )
I don't know when being black became such a bad thing. I am a black british woman living in new york and have been surprised to see just how disinterested men of all races seem to be in dating real black - not light skinned women.... i honestly thought that there would be more progression and opportunity here in america as opposed to england, but i've been so disappointed to see that again black women are the last on everyones list.
Well, let me see if I can give you some insight from this side of the pond. To level set, I'm a white guy, who happens to like tanned women at the least. Brunnettes, brown eyes, etc. Blond/Blue isn't generally top on my list as a type, though there have been those in my life that I loved dearly.
As I see it, if I hook up with a truly "black black" women, and I marry her, I'm now connected with the broader "black black" community and all that it entails. Here in the U.S. that generally means "ghetto" and all that word implies.
So for me, it's a non starter. Won't even consider it.
Individually, *she* may be great. But everything thing else that goes with it may not be. And you can't really separate the two.
Essentially your degrees of separation from "Crack Town" are decreased by getting involved with said hypothetical black lady.
To answer the OP's question I think the problem is that women in our society are objectified WAY more than men. So there is not one standard of what an attractive man should look like. Whereas for women, we are overwhelmed with images of waif-like, white women and are brainwashed to think that this is the standard of beauty. So in my opinion, I believe there is still an underlying belief that the closer one gets to this standard the greater the acceptance of that individuals beauty. Since dark-skinned black women do not fit this mold then they are generally perceived as less desirable.
I personally think race relations in America is severly overstated. Geezus its 2008 when are we going to move beyond it? Every race, culture, ethnicity has something to admire and appreciate. Why can't we celebrate and appreciate individuality instead of trying to force conformity?
Well, yes and no.
I think it's a bit like this. Men rate women on looks and personality. Women rate men on looks, personality, and *providership*.
Since economic life became about money some time ago, the providership indice of men can be fulfilled in ways other than being a big strong hunter.
You can be a rock star, a writer, a CEO, a hundred other things and become rich, without being a leading man looker.
However, push come to shove, and both men vying for a gal are similarly rich, the big strong one probably has the better shot. We've only been post industrial for a short time, so the ingrained genetic preference for physically survivable males hasn't gone away yet.
This posting sound more like those air-head white girls that my dark-skin brother would bring home and he's not with any of them now. They would start these stupid discussions that sounded more like they were involved in an experiment instead of a relationship.
What difference does it make? What concern do you really have for the dark-skin black women as long as she keeps recreating the dark-skin black man you love.
Plus, what makes White people feel that they have a monopoly on defining beauty? Yes, at the moment, Whites controls the media and force feed their limited idea of beauty to the rest of the world. Beauty is found in all races of both men and women. More non-Blacks are discovering what we have always known. Finally, there would be no dark-skin Black man that you love so much without the black woman.
Umm... by most accounts Jewish people run the media.
So, depending on your definition of white, Whites may or may not control the media. (I believe anthropologist call jewish people caucasians. But apparently even Italians weren't considered "white" at one time. The whole WWII thing really has confused people on these things.)
Anyway, you could make a side arguement that entertainment, i.e. Show *BIZ* is in the business of selling images and for the moment the largest demographic in the U.S. is white, so what's really happening is that the marketers are creating images they believe will sell the most widely. And of course, they might be right given their revenues. But as America "browns" that may change.
Stereotypes of beauty are socially constructed and represented by the media and popular culture. In real life beauty is far more diverse. So, generalizations will not be true in every case. I am a Black woman (brownskinned with natural hair), and I date all the way across the racial or cultural spectrum here in NYC and beyond. I don't think I am an exception to the rule; I just think that in my life the rule is not real. Many find me attractive; some do not or cannot. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Regionality may also be an issue here. What is considered beautiful in Hollywood may not be considered beautiful elsewhere. What is considered beautiful in NYC may not be considered beautiful in Hollywood. What is considered beautiful in the East Village or Alphabet City may not be considered beautiful on the Upper East Side.
Not for me. I could give a sh*t what society says is beautiful. I have to live with the woman. I'm gonna have to have kids with her, get old with her. So if I fall for a Brazillian-Latina-Asian mix with a little Irish thrown in or something... tough noogies world, that's who I'm marrying, LOL!
But I do believe beauty does tend to fall along some sort of average. I.e. there are some women that attract a lot *more* men than others. Be real. We all know one when we see one, right?
As for the other side, if I don't find sub-saharan african hair traits (for example) attractive, then I'm not going to take a flack for it either.
OTOH, if you *do* find that trait attractive, fine. Have at it. :-D
I think dark skinned black women are far more attractive than dark skinned black men.....for example, GRACE JONES!! IMO one of the most beautiful, and stunning women ever!
You may find her attractive, but I find her too male-ish, to be honest. No way I could get it up for that.
But as I've said elsewhere. I believe that beauty is sort of on a statistical curve. Some women will attract a larger segment of men than others. It's a spectrum thing and as you illustrate, you like a woman that I think that stats would show, is on the ends of the bell curve in terms of how many men are attracted to her. (Just my opinion.) But... you claim you *are* attracted to her, so clearly there's not any bright shining line rules. Just some generalities with lots of exceptions.
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