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There are several things that could be going on with her. If comments like these are coming out primarily during moments when alcohol is involved, there is a good chance it may be something she subconsciously does want to be involved in and has a hard time accepting, therefore only under the influence is it that she is honest about those desires. It could also be if in her previous experiences, it was under the influence, and she somehow now ties in the behavior, attitude, with the environment and alcohol affect.
It could also be that yes she is testing you. Testing you because obviously from what she says, her previous relationship was pushing this on her when she didn't want to. She probably had no clue he was into that when the relationship started. Therefore, it probably came as a surprise and she learned that you don't know all about someone until a little later in the relationship. Here she has you saying you don't want to do this. You are not into it. But in her mind she may be thinking, yeah right lets see how long that lasts. Therefore, she may be testing to see if you would react to it, either negatively or positively. Especially while under the influence when your guard is down more. The test is not will you go along with her desire to be with other guys, the test in fact is, are you man enough to say no you don't share whats yours and thus have enough respect for you, her and your relationship to be very clear that it is not acceptable.
The other thing that could be going on is that she may have this desire but due to upbringing, society views, even your own opinion, she may feel embarressed or maybe even ashamed of it. Therefore, in this scenario, what she does is she likes to go along with it as in the victim role and well I am only doing it because my man likes it or wants it or basically pushes it on me. This way, she doesn't have to take responsibility for the outcome or the actions, she is simply trying to shift the responsibility onto her man's shoulders. That of course is based on the concept that perhaps the truth is that she wants to do it, just doesn't want to admit. It is not to disregard that in the past it may have been her not wanting to and only going along with it for her previous guy.
In either situation, I think its important that you find out real quick what the deal is with it. A relationship is work, but it shouldn't be so much work and where you are always having to wonder what your partner really wants in terms of monogomy and fidelity within the relationship. That's one area that you have to be very clear on and on the same page with from the very beginning if your relationship is going to stand a chance at surviving. JMO.
I honestly wonder if this is a troll post but I'll answer. I agree with a couple others who say there is no reason to say she is horrible because she wants something different. More than likely, she isn't joking but she keeps pushing to see if you'll give in and say it's ok. I don't agree with that lifestyle once committed. I married my husband b/c I don't want to sleep with anyone else. Others don't feel that way. Just different strokes for different folks. You need to find someone who feels the way you do. This will never work b/c you will always wonder and she'll probably not be able to control her desire to experiment.
TONY, on this thread, you said you have a girlfriend, but you have another thread where you said you're LOOKING FOR an Asian woman. My, my, are you "window shopping" before dumping your GF?
I took everyones advice and dumped her. I think asian women are more loyal......
SHe had many responses. She tried to talk me out of it and said I was making a big mistake.
I told her I had to go with my intellect and not my heart. The heart will decive us. It was not just what she said that night, there were comments previously that were suspicous. So, I finally acted on it. It would had been nice if the man would have showed up so i would have seen for sure what her intentions were. Should I have waited to break up? Waited for her to make an actual attempt? I didnt feel I needed to.
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already dumped her
