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How many of you have had that friend that says/does something that made you start to distance yourself from them?
What did the do? What did you do? Post It!
I had a male friend for ohhhh, 8 years. (strickly platonic) We were really close, and I really loved him like a brother....but if I say something that gets him upset, he goes away for months at a time, then I hear from him again, like nothing happened. He had always said, we're friends to the end...but friends don't do that to each other. So, we're no longer friends. What's the ol saying, "Friends through Thick and Thin" ?
Well, I started a thread several months ago about a couple that decided they enjoyed wife swapping and approached us. Things have been somewhat cool between us since we turned them down.
I thought we had a post like this not too long ago.
I had a best friend I had met in 7th grade. We stayed best friends and only lived a couple miles from each other. We were so close, our moms became fast friends. After high school we joined the Navy together. I have always considered myself old fashioned (only date one girl at a time, I believe a hand shake beats any signing of paper, and especially believe a man's word is his bond).
To that end, that's where our friendship ended. While in Navy electronics school, he had a girlfriend he had been dating for a couple months. One night, the barracks phone rang and it was her. I just happened to be sitting nearby and heard him responding to her talking. At the end, he said something to the effect of "I love you too, and I'll see you this weekend." Then he hung up the phone and said "well.. that's it. I won't be seeing her anymore!"
I found out that through the discussion, she told him she had found out she was pregnant from her ex-boyfriend, and didn't know about it after they broke up and the starting of dating my friend. Apparently, she had just had the test and confirmed it, working backwards figuring out it had to have been her ex, since she had only dated my friend for a couple months.
Anyway, I was upset that he would treat a woman like that and told him that he owed it to her to to at least talk to her and explain that he wasn't ready for a relationship like that. He disagreed and the argument got heated... and eventually turned into blows. I left a few weeks after for intelligence school and hadn't seen him since.
I'm now retired from the Navy and often wonder where he's at. I wonder if I should have stayed out of it, not put a woman above a friend. But my "chivalry" side was so heavy that I thought it was a matter of character. That I thought my friends should hold the same values I did. So, I lost a friend over principle. Don't know if it's right or wrong..but it happened.
Im going to share a few as I recently have been cleaning house these past years:
• Said to me " If (X) wasnt around would you of dated me?"
Last convo I had with that person as there were other unstable issues with them
Thier downhill roll:
- personal care - yeh its a dude so..ughbut..whatever
- starting calling wife a fat b*tchface
- checked self into mental hospital for fear of self violence
- admitted to being on shrink meds (extreme ones) and just went off them
- then that question after this person had been calling me 20 times a day or more
C~R~A~Z~YYYYYYYYYYYYY.
I stopped talking to this person as I knew they stalked someone else the liked in retrospect. I didnt really think much of it at the time other than..hes just a dork.
• Caught someone molesting my friend in thier sleep.
After a great big blow up never saw that person again.
NEVER EVER WANT TO. Friend was barely legal at the time and i start talking and it comes out that this molestor had a history. EWWWWWWWWW
I was seen in public with this freak.
• Family would stop calling my black friends n******.
Dont talk to them anymore. That was just the icing on top of one big disfunctional cake that was our family.
• friend went out got smashed screwed a junkie, got preggers and aborted it without remorse and acted like it was blowing thier nose. Which..do what you have to do. But always in respect, if not in conservation. It just seemed so cold to not care. She was always kinda selfish and had crazy stints but that was too much.
We stopped a really close friendship with the couple that introduced us - we were both in their wedding and that is how my hubby and I met. They couldn't stop the party lifestyle even after they had kids and it got old. Everything was an excuse to drink - they didn't have money for diapers or daycare - but the pack of cigs and case of beer was always there!
I have also found that friends who don't share the same child rearing ideas seem to fade away. How you raise your kids is your business - but I will not tolerate disrespect and rudeness in my home from my own children - I certainly won't from someone else's.
Met another mom online via an attachment parenting website/forum. Later on she moved to my city...in fact, right down the street from me! So, we were buddies, and our kids would play together.
She and her husband decided to try "swinging" / wife swapping. Okay, whatever. Not my thing but I'm not one to judge.
Her husband left her for the woman they were "swinging" with (gee, never saw that coming). He married the "new" woman (who had 3 kids of her own) within seconds of the divorce being final.
So a few months after the divorce, my friend hooked up with some guy she met online, moved in with him (taking her kids along) and his four kids from a previous marriage (hadn't her kids just been through enough!), became a very "in your face" born-again Christian and started proselytizing to me constantly and telling me I was going to burn in hell for this or that (pick one, I was apparently guilty of several biggies in her book, but at the top of the list was 1) not being Christian and 2) being gay). That was enough to put an end to that crazy crap "friendship".
We stopped a really close friendship with the couple that introduced us - we were both in their wedding and that is how my hubby and I met. They couldn't stop the party lifestyle even after they had kids and it got old. Everything was an excuse to drink - they didn't have money for diapers or daycare - but the pack of cigs and case of beer was always there!
I have also found that friends who don't share the same child rearing ideas seem to fade away. How you raise your kids is your business - but I will not tolerate disrespect and rudeness in my home from my own children - I certainly won't from someone else's.
I agree with this... but I'll add that I have a low low tolerance for crappy / neglectful parenting and have ended several friendships on this issue. One previous friend was just forever putting up with BS from her husband, she lost all self respect it seemed, and her kids were constantly dirty, in soggy diapers, and drinking Kool-aid from a bottle and eating cheetos. I mean CONSTANTLY.
I agree with this... but I'll add that I have a low low tolerance for crappy / neglectful parenting and have ended several friendships on this issue. One previous friend was just forever putting up with BS from her husband, she lost all self respect it seemed, and her kids were constantly dirty, in soggy diapers, and drinking Kool-aid from a bottle and eating cheetos. I mean CONSTANTLY.
Makes my skin crawl thinking about that kind of behavior.
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