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You know... You flirt with each other. You are very affectionate with each other. You may even love each other to a degree. But for whatever reason, you will not cross that line.
What happened? What stopped you both from crossing that line?
I have three romantic friends, or sweet friends as I prefer to call them. One is a devout Muslim, one is a co-worker, and one has sworn to himself to never ever let another woman "control" him. This third guy calls me, romances me on the phone, comes to see me from time to time, etc. but then runs for the hills whenever things get too cozy between us.
I would be asking what kind of signals are you sending to these guys especially the romantic guy. Have you talked with these gentleman and just come out and asked them what is up?
You know... You flirt with each other. You are very affectionate with each other. You may even love each other to a degree. But for whatever reason, you will not cross that line.
What happened? What stopped you both from crossing that line?
I have three romantic friends, or sweet friends as I prefer to call them. One is a devout Muslim, one is a co-worker, and one has sworn to himself to never ever let another woman "control" him. This third guy calls me, romances me on the phone, comes to see me from time to time, etc. but then runs for the hills whenever things get too cozy between us.
Hmmm...
What's your story?
When I was in 5th grade, I saw my true love for the very first time. WOW! In 7th grade we had classes together and we became such good friends all the way up until 12th Grade. In 12th, we dated, but both mutually discussed what might happen to our friendship if we continued to date and then, broke up, cuz it didn't work out....so, we both decided not to date any more...and we each confessed to each other that we were attracted to each other. (boy, there were times I'd cry cause I loved him so much) Silly Girl! Anyway, we are still friends to this day...he is an awesome guy. Really Awesome, kind, compassionate, a really terrific guy. We have never even come close to sleeping together...he is a gentleman and the best man I've known all of my life.
I'm glad we never crossed the line. I love him with all my heart.
I think, when we have friends of a different gender, sometimes we love them so much, we decide we want to give them something so very special..."us" and confuse a very good friendship with a passionate love, and when it doesn't work out...we loose them as friends, which is very sad. So, make certain you are willing to risk that and what the consequences could be.
1) I am a Christian (progressive, mystical, spiritual, dechurched, but still...), and guy # 1 is a devout Muslim. The feelings are there, but the two belief systems don't mix and are not up for compromise or conversion.
2) I don't date coworkers. As one old sweet friend of mine once put it, "I don't eat my meat where I make my bread." Tacky statement, yes, but for me true. I have learned...
3) If a man comes out and tells me that he needs to be "free," I respect that, no matter how romantic he is. We have definitely talked about it. He has even expressed his feelings to me, including his jealousy; but he is unwilling to commit to even dating. He just goes with the flow. Which is fine by me. I actually like the romantic energy between us minus the drama or power struggles.
Not really in need of advice here. I just want to hear other people's stories, to know and understand the at times delicious, at times frustrating, experience of affectionate friendship, or unrequited love or attraction between friends.
As for the whole friends with benefits deal, I say live and let live. It's just not for me. Casual sex, in my experience, is an oxymoron. I only share that powerful energy within the context of a loving, committed, long-term relationship. Go figure...
suppose you are married but meet your romantic friend of the opposite sex from your past and continue from where you left i.e you call each other, text, email, but are wondering if you can hold hands, hug & occasionally kiss but ofcourse wont cross the line coz you are both married, is this an affair or just a friendship you once had that has continued coz you've just met again? The chemistry between the two is quite irristible.
suppose you are married but meet your romantic friend of the opposite sex from your past and continue from where you left i.e you call each other, text, email, but are wondering if you can hold hands, hug & occasionally kiss but ofcourse wont cross the line coz you are both married, is this an affair or just a friendship you once had that has continued coz you've just met again? The chemistry between the two is quite irristible.
suppose you are married but meet your romantic friend of the opposite sex from your past and continue from where you left i.e you call each other, text, email, but are wondering if you can hold hands, hug & occasionally kiss but ofcourse wont cross the line coz you are both married, is this an affair or just a friendship you once had that has continued coz you've just met again? The chemistry between the two is quite irristible.
If it isn't, it will be. Might as well succumb to the inevitable...
Ok seriously, if you truly love your husband and don't want a divorce, you should stop, right now. If you don't love your husband and are looking for a way out, you should tell him and save everyone a lot of heartache.
Yep in the past. They rather flirt with you just for fun, when it's serious it becomes to much of a reality. They get scared. Heck it happens to the best of us.
Never did but sometimes in the past I gave compliments to female platonic friends. Not really flirting but definitely not romantic/sensual/affectionate. I'm kind of all-or-nothing when it comes to affectionate things like hugs or whatever and there is a lot of potential to ruin friendships with an awkward wrong move.
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