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Ummm..... yeah. In your original post, you mentioned "probably still be together, if not married" - do you mean you're married to another person or were you saying you'd be together AND married?? Confused.
Anyway, my honest advice is two fold, yes I partly agree that you shouldn't have been snooping but we as women have a tendancy to do this - call it our sixth sense about things. I think women do it when they feel there is a reason to do it. Having said that, when you snoop, be prepared as you may not like what you find out.
It would totally repulse me to know that I'd been having sex with him and then find out that he's all hot for transexuals and whatnot. NOT that those people repulse me but I'd be thinking about if I ever had unprotected sex, who he's been sleeping with, etc. etc... my mind would just wander and not in a good way.
I'm of the mind that when you break up with someone, it's over and you move on. You don't go back for any reason whatsoever.
Oh Pandora why did you open that box? Just by the way you are reacting to learning about his fetish, explains why he couldn't discuss it with you. You'd never understand his kinks. Looks like he has chosen to explore his bisexual/ bicurious side in the privacy of his own home. It's his business. I don't think he owes you an explaination as you are no longer together. You're the one who doesn't want a log distance relationship, why do you still bother? You either stand behind your statement or you don't.
I don't think it's a horrible thing for you to ask him about his attractions. You are close friends and intimately involved. He already knows you found the web site and weren't "snooping."
It's not unreasonable for you to bring up in your next phone call: "Remember when we talked about that phone sex website? I was a little unsure of how to ask you at the time, but I noticed that some of the calls you made were to transexuals. Is that a fantasy of yours?" Of course, do it in a completely non-judgmental way. Regardless of his answer, demonstrate your support. It doesn't matter what his preference or fantasy is, so long as you get the information you need to make an informed decision as to how you want the relationship to progress.
It is so nice of you to give her advice on how to find out the truth, but let's be real: He has gay thoughts in his mind. A he/she is a male who has kept his original private part intact, and have taken hormones to enhance some female features, such as breasts, etc. He has decided to keep his main private part intact, because some male homosexuals prefer it that way, and for some it is a sexual turn-on to have someone who appears female, but in reality is a MALE. As for bi-sexuality: My psychology professor ones said: THERE IS NOT SUCH THING: A person is either homosexual or not. What happens is that the inner self, cannot accept the dilemma the persons find itself in, and therefore, is more acceptable to society to say one is bi-sexual. Is a sort of a denial to the self.
I always wanted to try phone sex. I love the idea of having a sexy voice in my ear and drawing a mental picture in my head of what she looks like. Then have her talk me through one.
Im interested in trying, even with a regular girl. A paid service seems a little fake orgasmish for me though, but id still like to try one day. When he stops getting an erection with you, get concerned, though $300 is a car payment lol
DM me ladies if you want to practice lol
In NYC, recently there was a story in the newspaper that many of those sexy voices over the telephone are 300 pounders plus, septuageneriams, and some of those voices were males pretending to be females. Sorry, if I burst your bubble.
why in the world are you that concerned about the activities of someone you divorced?
He is the past and if you move forward and have a relationship with someone who has a future with you,you probably will have to quit having sex with him anyways.
For the exact reason I mentioned in my post-we're still involved. If we were nothing more than "friends" than I wouldn't give a rat's a$$. And you're right about the second part, but as for the here and now, that's not the case.
Oh Pandora why did you open that box? Just by the way you are reacting to learning about his fetish, explains why he couldn't discuss it with you. You'd never understand his kinks. Looks like he has chosen to explore his bisexual/ bicurious side in the privacy of his own home. It's his business. I don't think he owes you an explaination as you are no longer together. You're the one who doesn't want a log distance relationship, why do you still bother? You either stand behind your statement or you don't.
Yes Pandora's box was opened and he's free to be a "kinky" as he wishes, but I don't want to be a part of the intimacy anymore if that's what he chooses as I've said. In regards to my reaction, he doesn't know I know about the transexuals, so to say that's why he couldn't discuss it with me is invalid. He can be as gay as the day is long if that's what he chooses, it is just that from what I understand, men that are attracted to transexuals don't see themselves as gay or bi because they see them as "shes". I was just trying to get other opinions here.
And who said I didn't want the long distance? I never said that.
Last edited by Dazed&Confuzed; 09-03-2008 at 01:52 PM..
Ummm..... yeah. In your original post, you mentioned "probably still be together, if not married" - do you mean you're married to another person or were you saying you'd be together AND married?? Confused.
Anyway, my honest advice is two fold, yes I partly agree that you shouldn't have been snooping but we as women have a tendancy to do this - call it our sixth sense about things. I think women do it when they feel there is a reason to do it. Having said that, when you snoop, be prepared as you may not like what you find out.
It would totally repulse me to know that I'd been having sex with him and then find out that he's all hot for transexuals and whatnot. NOT that those people repulse me but I'd be thinking about if I ever had unprotected sex, who he's been sleeping with, etc. etc... my mind would just wander and not in a good way.
I'm of the mind that when you break up with someone, it's over and you move on. You don't go back for any reason whatsoever.
Good luck....
Thank you and you are absolutely right. And no, we are both presently single and both have never been married. What I was saying is that as compatible as we are, or I guess were, had he not moved I have little doubt that we would have wound up married. We just were were very close before he moved which is why we stayed together for a while after the move, but it got to be too much in the end. I think the reason we're still apart of each other's lives is b/c the reason we broke up was solely the distance and not on bad terms.
Last edited by Dazed&Confuzed; 09-03-2008 at 01:57 PM..
In NYC, recently there was a story in the newspaper that many of those sexy voices over the telephone are 300 pounders plus, septuageneriams, and some of those voices were males pretending to be females. Sorry, if I burst your bubble.
Actually, no that's very funny. This site is I guess a little different in that the people you chose post online profiles w/ pics and there is actually a BBW (big beautiful women) section where men or women who live BBWs can call them. Many people love them and fantasize about all sorts of people (obviously ) so the larger women pretty much are open and honest about what they look like and post pics of themselves. Same with the transexuals, etc.
Watch "clerks" with him. It approaches the subject and can make it casual.
If you get it up for a shlongo and a vadge...You are bi as the day is long.
I dont know about the transexual thing. Any guy I known that was bi was open about it. They dated guys or girls. The pre-op transexual I know dates men. They are also openly gay. The transexual doesnt act secret about it either. His/her friends are all of the gay community or gay friendly community.
Watch "clerks" with him. It approaches the subject and can make it casual.
If you get it up for a shlongo and a vadge...You are bi as the day is long.
I dont know about the transexual thing. Any guy I known that was bi was open about it. They dated guys or girls. The pre-op transexual I know dates men. They are also openly gay. The transexual doesnt act secret about it either. His/her friends are all of the gay community or gay friendly community.
I do believe bis exist. I know plenty of people who are attracted to both sexes. I would think that men who have an attraction to pre-op TS are bi, but many men swear they're straight. I think they are in denial, but who am I to say...
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