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Old 09-02-2008, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 19,964,232 times
Reputation: 5490

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...is being influenced by her grandma (who's visiting from California) to go back home. We made the move from Cali about a year and a half ago and we started off with nothing. We're now getting back on our feet and now she's insinuating about going back. Even though I miss Cali I really don't want to start all over again since I doubt I would get a job that would ay me as much as my current job. Any suggestions as to how to convince her (without being blunt) to stay here for a few more years?
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 7,945,926 times
Reputation: 2961
I don't know your wife but if shes anything at all like mine I'd say make it known that your happy. If you've been struggling its possible you've over looked that. Women want their men to be happy and if they perceive otherwise then they want to fix it. I tend to vent and if I don't follow up with "but things in general are good" I can come off as negative at times.
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:25 AM
 
13,779 posts, read 25,021,455 times
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Send grandma packing...
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma
288 posts, read 617,323 times
Reputation: 166
i agree with mrstewart.

Wifey probably a little homesick, seeing grandma stirs it up even more...

When Granny is gone the urge might be, also.
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 83,789,616 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
Send grandma packing...
Sounds like good advice to me!
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:28 AM
 
13,779 posts, read 25,021,455 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Sounds like good advice to me!
Thanks! I am all about getting rid of the baggage of life
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:35 AM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,497,961 times
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Simply ask, "Who are you married to? Your grandmother or me?"

Meddling in-laws are the death of lots of marriages.
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:40 AM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 12,574,250 times
Reputation: 1843
sounds like a Dr. Phil episode .......love that show.
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 14,020,985 times
Reputation: 1286
HMMMMMMM

Could be becuz Grandma is there...

Could be relocation depression too. I moved for Calif 4 years ago and have been horribly depressed about getting back. But we have kids so it's SO MUCH HARDER. If you don't have kids and your wife really is upset (wait til Grandma leaves) don't FORCE her to live somewhere she doesn't.

The ONLY reason I am in Seattle is for my husband and I'm absolutely miserable about it...I don't want to live my life here, but am 100% committed to my relationship. Otherwise if I was single I would have been back in Calif in a heart beat and to hell with money.

Find out if she's really unhappy. If she is - Do you want to make her feel like she's "stuck"?

PS: We are moving back to Calif, just trying to sell the house and get jobs now
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:51 AM
 
Location: NYC
16,027 posts, read 24,652,545 times
Reputation: 24674
First I would listen to your wife, let her know you understand how she feels. Some people take much longer than others to adjust. Ask her to give it some time before you both make a decision.

This decision should be made as a couple, not yours, not hers, it needs to be made together. She may have very valid points you have not thought of as well. Sit down and have a serious discussion and make a plan.
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