Hmmm.. interesting thread. I've glanced through the responses.. and it seems a lot of people are equating friends with benefits with a one night stand. While both are casual sex, they are quite different in my book.
A ONS is just that - one night of sex with someone you probably just met. And that is what you are likely to find on sites like craigslist and AdultFriendFinder. Nothign wrong with that of course - but the OP asked for FWB, not a ONS.
FWB, of course, is sex between friends with no strings attached. It may be someone you already know, or it may be someone you meet for this purpose. Generally though, with FWB, there's more there than just the sex, namely, a friendship of some kind. You may hang out together, etc. The advantage of this is it is less random (you know the person at least a bit) and a bit more trusting (and safer from a "this guy/gal is a creepy psycho" standpoint). Oh, and if its good, you can keep doing it
. The danger though, is that one party will try to develop it into more. That just has to be guarded against, and if that starts to happen, the "benefits" must end right away. Keep in mind FWB is generally not considered exclusive, unless it is agreed otherwise.
And of course, sex buddies are in between - people you have sex with more than once, but that's really all you do together.
To me, FWB is an ideal setup, and even a sex buddy is better than a ONS. As for the OP's problem - its easy to find guys who want to have a ONS with you, but may be harder to find guys who want to go the FWB route. A lot of guys want to do the deed, and move on. So your best bet may be to talk to some of your guy friends... don't ask them for sex directly, but maybe something like "you'd think it'd be easier for a girl to find a friend with benefits." If they are interested, they'll follow up
. Be aware though, it has the POTENTIAL to mess up a friendship. There's no need for that to happen, but it can, so it may be something you don't want to do with really close friends, unless you're pretty sure you can both handle it.
That all being said, if you are anywhere near Virginia, look me up
. I'm always looking to meet new friends, and benefits are welcome too!
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