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Old 09-05-2008, 06:17 PM
 
2,625 posts, read 10,538,408 times
Reputation: 1865

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OK, my wife is beautiful, i love her to death, physically she has everything that i love in a woman. Shes a Gemini, so she has crazy mood swings, sometimes its hard to deal with her split personality, but i cope. One thing that aggravates the Mod cut: language out of me, is that she is really really bad w/money!!!!! We both make descent money, with what we make her in el paso, we could be living comfortably, but no............im in debt up to my elbows, part of it, is my fault, because i never really helped her w the bills. I would just give her my check and expect and trusted that she was paying all the bills. Too make a long story short, she has messed up my crdt really bad, i cant get a car without a cosigner, nobody will give me credit, and my credit is at an all time low. I came to find out she had gone months without paying our credit cards,and now were stuck in a rut, we owe everywhere, and i find myself working crazy overtime trying to get caught up. What should i do with this woman, i mean i love her to death, but shes messing up being so irresponsible. I even lost a good job [career], because they checked my credit and it sucked!!!! so they declined to give me a position. I know this is probably my fault too, but damm!!!!

Last edited by Mikala43; 04-27-2018 at 11:10 AM..
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:24 PM
 
473 posts, read 1,409,079 times
Reputation: 393
So take over. Make a list of your creditors and call them to make payment arrangements, and then YOU keep those arrangements! It's going to take a while, but believe me - creditors look at your report to see you are actually trying.

In the meantime, open a separate bill-paying bank account, and give your wife an allowance. No, it's not fair, but you two have to do some serious repair and you both have to be committed. Nobody says you can't take over this responsibility. And believe me - until you are bankrupt or homeless, there is a way out, AS LONG AS YOU STICK TO IT.

Be a man, and fix it.
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 23,589,764 times
Reputation: 24067
Yep. I agree. Time to take ahold of the household.
This is serious stuff man. She can be beautiful all she wants, and you can even love her entirely, but there comes a *point* in time when you need to say,"Enough!" This time is now!
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:42 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 7,980,640 times
Reputation: 3716
Whine, whine, whine you sound like my husband. Did you stop and think about HELPING to pay the bills. Sitting down together each payday and pay what needed to be paid, make a budget for food, gas and entertainment among other things, OR did you just toss her the check and except no responsibility for the bills. If this is what you did then you are just as much at fault as she is. Its time to sit down and plan a budget and contact your creditors to work out a plan. You can also get in touch with a credit repair company that will help you rebuild your credit.
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:51 PM
 
2,625 posts, read 10,538,408 times
Reputation: 1865
Good advice guys, but remember, i did say that this was partially my fault. Im not blaming all this on her ok!
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,583 posts, read 38,017,033 times
Reputation: 13361
Quote:
Originally Posted by LEVOW View Post
Good advice guys, but remember, i did say that this was partially my fault. Im not blaming all this on her ok!
No worries mon! I think they are just reminding you that you said it was partially your fault.
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 23,589,764 times
Reputation: 24067
Quote:
Originally Posted by LEVOW View Post
Good advice guys, but remember, i did say that this was partially my fault. Im not blaming all this on her ok!
Ok. You take part also in the debt. Now that is clear....you both need to get it together, and pay your bills! Good luck!
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:07 PM
 
79 posts, read 298,591 times
Reputation: 112
One thing you can do to help your credit is to get a Orchard Bank Card you will have to put $200 or so down on it and buy something every month and then pay it off. It shows on your credit so it helps. They have a website just google it and look it over. I don't know what bank you do your banking with but Bank of America also has a credit card were you put the money down same situation. You should check those sites out Orchard Bank & Bank of America for getting a credit card it will help out now and then later once you shown you are paying every month on time and not late then you could go back in 6 months or a year and get a regular credit card.
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:10 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 24,541,726 times
Reputation: 7423
If you know she is not fiscally responsible, why would you give her your check and make her responsible for paying the bills???

No offense, but it sounds like you are just as reponsible for your current financial situation as she is.
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 7,980,640 times
Reputation: 3716
I once had a little problem with SHOPPING but now I am much better. I realized how important the credit score was when were trying to make a large purchase several years ago and could not. When my husband gave me his check each week it was time to go SHOPPING then later I would think "oh $hit what did I do? Then came the "eeny meeny miney moe" which bill should I pay? My husband NEVER knew how much we had, he never asked. That made it even worse because he would take money out of the ATM without knowing how much we had and then he would give me 2 or 3 weeks of ATM receipts at once.The bank made ALOT of money off us with overdraft fee's. We now only have 1 debit card in my name only, he takes it to get cash and gives it back right away with the receipt. We now have great credit scores, but it was really low for awhile. So I know where you are coming from. Now I make sure I pay all the bills, buy groceries, fill the tanks, etc. and then I think about shopping.
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