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Old 09-05-2008, 09:46 PM
 
2 posts, read 7,069 times
Reputation: 12

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Hey guys,

In the course of my life so far I’ve come across plenty of people with regrets they’ve had in their own lives. And seeing how life is so incredibly short… I just kind of wanted to see what everyone else’s regrets are.

Career-life objectives?
Relationships?
Family?

It would be pretty cool to learn from each other’s *mistakes* or to see what we would do differently at your age. So I guess when you post… it’ll be cool if you posted your age along with your posting.

I know a lot of people out there also try to live without regrets... and even if you do, it'd be helpful to see something you'd change.. rather than regret.

Here’s mine:
I regret not spending enough time to keep in touch and to foster relationships with the significant people in my life. I feel like I’ve been too distracted with the other aspects of life (work and school primarily) that I just kinda lost touch with people I would rather not have lost touch with… I know its not too late.. but I feel like some relationships have deteriorated too much for full repair..
Age:22
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Old 09-05-2008, 10:24 PM
 
Location: conover nc
1,130 posts, read 2,233,273 times
Reputation: 2671
I regret not being a better parent. I worked long hours in corp.management and put my heart into my career. When my daughter was 13 she started hanging out with the wrong crowd and is now 31 has two little girls 6 and 10 that I am raising because she is addicted to drugs and drinking.
I took her to church every time the doors were open and have lived a Christian life but there were times I could have prayed more and taught her the bible better. I depended on the church to do most of it and let her go more than I should have.
I regret this more than anything that has happen in my life but I intend to see that it does not happen to her children.

I'm 56

Last edited by thefer; 09-05-2008 at 10:26 PM.. Reason: I forget to put my age lol that is what happens when you become a grand ma
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Old 09-06-2008, 09:00 PM
 
13,640 posts, read 24,433,568 times
Reputation: 18580
The only thing I regret is not being able to get a carreer to fall back on in order to support myself and children/grandbabies and have money of my own due to a divorce..I believe I would have been more confident and had more respect for myself if I could have had that..
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Old 09-07-2008, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
4,391 posts, read 9,453,736 times
Reputation: 1866
I think I was a very good mom for my five children, attended all activities, did PTA, took pictures, did all their scrapbooks, stayed home with them till the youngest was in 1st grade. I went through a divorce after 27 years of marriage and had to go back to square one in the job market. I stayed home for 14 years raising my kids which I don't regret at all but when I was having problems in my marriage after 21 years of marriage I went to work and had to start out in an entry level job for a city. It was a good job but if I would of had a degree I would of been leaps and bounds ahead. So my regret would be not getting that college degree.
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Old 09-07-2008, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
4,391 posts, read 9,453,736 times
Reputation: 1866
Quote:
Originally Posted by blue62 View Post
The only thing I regret is not being able to get a carreer to fall back on in order to support myself and children/grandbabies and have money of my own due to a divorce..I believe I would have been more confident and had more respect for myself if I could have had that..
ditto to that!
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Old 09-07-2008, 02:03 PM
 
2,751 posts, read 5,349,796 times
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Great thread OP, and some touching responses. My heart goes out to all. After all the most painful things are the ones we can do nothing about, whether it is an actual regret or not.

Myself, I've got more than one, but one I'll go into is that my father and I were "on the outs," that's how I'd put it. Not estranged or not speaking or devout enemies, but just pretty bugged with each other and not in close contact, living in separate parts of the country when he died after one big, ugly, unexpected heart attack in his fifties.

Now don't get me wrong the riff was pretty significant, would have been plenty enough I'm sure to be a deal breaker between alotta fathers and sons. But we were not that kind of family, we were close, always there for each other and no matter what. So much so that when my friends had had splits with their fathers or other family members I wouldn't say it, as I didn't think it was my business, but I'd be thinking, 'How can you do this?'

I should tell you that what brought on the split between my dad and me was what I thought at the time was his mistreatment of my mother, and to compound my guilt and regret of not being on good terms with my dad when he died, I've since rethought my parents' situation(s) many times, and now see that she was just as at fault as he was; Most boys will come down on the side of their mother, right or wrong, and I was especially protective, given the fact that there had been years in my early childhood when it was just she and I, and also the fact that my father was a true tough guy, an ex-world class athlete who could have destroyed us both with one sweeping blow.

But he's been gone a while now, there have been alotta times when I could have used a father, he never got to know my wife or kids or see how I turned out; I think he might have been proud, I think we coulda been friends, and I know he would have been absolulely blown away by my kids, calmed and reborn by them the way I have been. Like alotta cowboys, (not the literal meaning; about as far from it as you can get), I think the old man would have been alot better at the family thing in his older age, would have been a better grandfather than he ever was a father, I think it's a pretty good bet.
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Old 09-07-2008, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Oxford, OH
1,461 posts, read 3,642,307 times
Reputation: 834
I wonder sometimes if I will regret staying in this marriage. I stay because I am a Christian but it has not been good for the past five years. We are just roommates but I think I would regret at almost 60 not having the means to do all the things I do now for the grand kids which have become my life and joy.
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Old 09-07-2008, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
4,391 posts, read 9,453,736 times
Reputation: 1866
Quote:
Originally Posted by driftwoodpoint View Post
I wonder sometimes if I will regret staying in this marriage. I stay because I am a Christian but it has not been good for the past five years. We are just roommates but I think I would regret at almost 60 not having the means to do all the things I do now for the grand kids which have become my life and joy.
Sometimes you have to put yourself first though. Most people devote their lives to their kids and don't think about their own happiness. I was in the same situation you were, but unhappy for about 10 years. My kids actually encouraged me to do what would make ME happy and not worry about them. Of course they were older and out of high school. Divorce does change things and things will never be the same. Holidays and birthdays are uncomfortable and hard especially when one or the other or both remarry. I just remarried this past year and when everyone gets together its difficult.
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Old 09-07-2008, 09:41 PM
 
2 posts, read 7,069 times
Reputation: 12
thanks for the reply so far guys... it is definitely giving me insight on the future... and what i should look out for.. i really appreciate it.
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Old 09-08-2008, 07:11 AM
 
Location: beautiful NC mountains!
904 posts, read 2,865,534 times
Reputation: 1279
I regret the 5 or so years that I spent being bitter at my Ex husband. They were a complete waste of time.
It has been 11 years since our divorce. We have both remarried and the kids are almost all grown. Every time I have to talk to him I can tell that he is still very bitter about everything. He still brings up things that are long over. I have moved passed that stage and seeing him still in it makes me realize how petty it all is. We would all be better people if we could learn to forget and forgive. It took a lot of years, some serious soul searching and some therapy for me to be able to forgive and forget. I have moved on and it is a wonderful feeling.
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