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So, money is a better indicator than any other factors when raising children????
Not the least, but HAVE YOU EVER BEEN REALLY, REALLY POOR? In this country a woman raising children in poverty has no choices, except to raise them in a ghetto, where they will end up in gangs. I say if the husband is healthy, and makes the bigger salary, let him raise them, because it has been researched that boys listen to a male figure more often, and tune out the female figures faster.
Not the least, but HAVE YOU EVER BEEN REALLY, REALLY POOR? In this country a woman raising children in poverty has no choices, except to raise them in a ghetto, where they will end up in gangs. I say if the husband is healthy, and makes the bigger salary, let him raise them, because it has been researched that boys listen to a male figure more often, and tune out the female figures faster.
Yes, I have. My parents divorced,I lived with my father at first but he had a career that took him out of town a lot. So I went to live with my mother who is a loon and would spend all of her money at bars, on clothes and not pay utilities or rent and not come home for days at a time while I stayed home to watch my brother, who is 6 years younger. This started when I was 11.
I got a job after school when I was 14 to help pay the bills but I managed to go to a top notch college and get two degrees from there in short order.
While my mother did a terrible job being a mother, I managed to do well for myself. I was never in a gang, in trouble with the law, did poorly in school, or any other stereotypes you were implying.
And, she has her PhD, had an incredible job. She remarried before my father did. I can't even remember the other silly things you said.
People are born with the grit to make it or they are not. It has nothing to do with the sex you were born.
I do believe more men should raise their kids but not for the reasons you stated. I disagree with several of your generalizations and some of them are offensive.
It all depends on who the parents are. I've seen some deadbeat dads, but there are some deadbeat moms as well. It all comes down to who the responsible parent is, not what the gender is.
It is a fact that women make less money in the working force than men, for the same job. Therefore, with this in mind, when there is a divorce and the husband is the better provider than the wife, with a better education, do you think women should start thinking along those lines, and , allow him to raise the children? But what I have experienced is that some women become vindictive, for whatever reason the marriage failed, and they begin to use the children as weapon against the husband and seek full custody. Custody can always be shared. A lot of divorced or single mothers because they lack a good education or are skilled in better jobs, become poor. And the the life struggle with POVERTY begins. Also, because so many women seek full custody of the children, it becomes harder for therm to get remarried, since most men do not want other men's children. So women always become the losers......................AND usually the men remarried, establish a new family, and the women keep struggling, and the chances for them to remarried are almost always nil. What is your opinion? Thank you,
Well, the same logic holds for men. If their ex stayed at home, they now have to pay for child care which reduces his income. They are now less likely to remarry as women don't want to raise someone elses kids so they're not replacing that mom at home to take care of the kids. If the ex worked, her income likely offset the cost of day care and then some but whose going to marry him to help him pay the day care bill for his ex's kids?
Kids lose in a divorce, period.
From what I've seen, no men shouldn't raise their kids as the primary parent. Too many of them are uninvolved and more interested in their love lives than their kids. Oh wait, I just described a bunch of divorced women too . Maybe the kids would be better off raised by the grand parents but then again, they raised the losers now putting their kids through a divorce.
BTW, I was that vindictive STBX who fought for full custody. Of course my husband liked to have 5 or 6 beers a night and was useless as a parent by beer number 3. Believe it or not, I still had a fight on my hands. Apparently drinking enough so your judegement is blurred WRT your kids IS NOT reason to take the kids away from a man these days.
Joint custody is a crock. It treats the kids like a martital asset not people. I have a neice and nephew who are in a joint custody arrangement. If you ask them their address, they just stare at you. The need to know which day of the week you're talking about. They are going through an awful time as both thier mother and father recently had babies by their current spouse. Now they are reduced to spending half their time at one half brothers permanent home and half thier time at their other half brothers permanent home. They are, painfully, aware that their half brothers actually have a home to call their own and two parents they only share half the time with them, wheras, no matter where they are, they share their parent.
Joint custody is a nightmare for kids. If you do the math, you'll find that it results in kids spending more time in daycare/school than with either parent. It makes school/daycare their primary residence as they'll spend more waking time there than anywhere else. Parents are now the minor players. Dad gets his 30 hours, mom gets her 30 and the kids spend 40 in daycare/schoool. But mom and dad likely also take some of their time for things like dating as well.
BTW, my parents were divorced. Dad had visitation on Sundays and I would not have changed that. I had a home. My rules and bedroom did not change on a daily basis. I had neighborhood friends and time to spend with them without stealing more time from already time starved parents. If you asked me my address, I didn't have to ask you what day it was. I had half brothers and sisters but I lived with them all the time just as if they were whole brothers and sisters and think of them that way. I also had a healthy relationship with both of my parents. Dad was the good time parent as I didn't live with him but that was ok. I probably spent as much 1:1 time with him as I did my mom. She was just the parent I lived with.
From my own experience interacting with my kids, watching how they are with both of us and having them go to both of us with different wants and needs I would say that at times their needs would not be met no matter who they lived with. Money solves many problems but not emotional needs. My kids go to my wife to ask permission to go somewhere first, to talk about a girl they met or need a shoulder to cry on. They come to me when they screw up, have something funny to share or a pat on the back for something they did that they are proud of.
I think whoever the more stable parent is ,they should be the one to raise the children. My mom was a single parent and she eventually remarried,so your statement that single women with children find it harder to remarry is false. And my mother also made more money than my father so that was another false statment as well. Where in the world did you get your information?
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. Maybe the kids would be better off raised by the grand parents but then again, they raised the losers now putting their kids through a divorce.
