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Divorce never serves the children, any way you slice it. The best possible situation for a child is to be living in one home with both parents. If parents are really that concerned about the emotional and physical well being of their children they will wait to divorce, but since people are so concerned with themselves and how they feel about things, children are often an afterthought.
My husband's mom waited until my husband was a Jr in high school to leave his father and my DH still suffered from this. The best possible situation is for a child to have both parents. Once they grow up and move out on their own, that's when we should sort out our differences as parents. Unless there is abuse involved, then it is not a healthy environment for the children.
I agree. It is pure selfishness that came up with ping pong parenting. Kids are not and should not be treated like assets to be shared equally. If you really want to do what's best for your kids, stay married. I don't get why people can stay married long enough to make babies but not to raise them then force the kids to bounce back and forth, in the name of fairness to them. That's not fair to the kids. They deserve a normal life.
Like me and my sister deserved a normal life. I wasn't affected by the divorce, I knew my daddy had gone, but guess what....shock, horror - I NEVER CRIED!
We are just going to disagree on this one. Having never had a father, yes, I can emphatically say I'd rather have a father than a visitor. And it would be impossible, as you have seen, to fairly decide that one parent is "more capable" than the other, as you said. The emotions of that alone hurt the kids more than anything. And if one spouse initiates the breakup but does not want to be noncustodial, what is the other supposed to do?
The problem is two half parents don't equal a whole. It's one screwed up childhood that's spent bouncing back and forth between parents like a ping pong and, IMO, very selfish of parents to do that to kids. If you really want to do what's right for your kids and get your "fair share" of time with them, stay married. THEY don't deserve to suffer because their parents aren't adult enough to get along.
If you do the math, you'll find that once mom and dad divide the time kids have outside of school/daycare that the kids are spending more time in school/daycare than with either parent. All you do with ping pong parenting is make school/daycare the primary provider. Good luck with that.
Like me and my sister deserved a normal life. I wasn't affected by the divorce, I knew my daddy had gone, but guess what....shock, horror - I NEVER CRIED!
I can't say I was affected by my parents divorce either (now their remarriages are another story. I"m convinced remarriage of parents hurts kids more than the divorce does). I had a very normal childhood in spite of it. But, then again, I wasn't bounced between homes like kids are today.
Men raising their kids means they are no longer "Spartan". A guy I know mucks in with is wife. It used to be men working and then coming home, now its men working, coming home and changing the nappy!
Does anyone agree that men mucking in makes them more or even a little feminine in how they live? The guy I know who mucks in, walks like a woman and sits like a woman. Hes what you call "Whipped".
Men raising their kids means they are no longer "Spartan". A guy I know mucks in with is wife. It used to be men working and then coming home, now its men working, coming home and changing the nappy!
Does anyone agree that men mucking in makes them more or even a little feminine in how they live? The guy I know who mucks in, walks like a woman and sits like a woman. Hes what you call "Whipped".
Movie Lover, always one to spread that winning personality of yours, huh?
Men raising their kids means they are no longer "Spartan". A guy I know mucks in with is wife. It used to be men working and then coming home, now its men working, coming home and changing the nappy!
Does anyone agree that men mucking in makes them more or even a little feminine in how they live? The guy I know who mucks in, walks like a woman and sits like a woman. Hes what you call "Whipped".
Ouch! I don't know, does this pic below look feminine to you? I just turned 40 in July and I'm home with a 6 and 2.5 year old. Doing it for 6 years now. . My wife, who obviously wears the pants in the family, works outside the home.
My son just called me last week to tell me that his wife of 4months just told him it was over. They have lived together for 4 1/2 yrs and have a 3yr old daughter and She has 2 other girls by 2 different dads. Be that as it may. I gave them $8000 to put down on a home bought wash/dryer and everything else that they needed every holiday I sent all 3 kids money to buy things, with. Which i realy do love all 3 kids. my son works 12-14 daily comes home cleans feed all kids while his wife sits on the computer cause she had a hard day sitting home. Now after 1st day in court the judge tells my son that he will pay for her to stay in the home lot rent and lights. This leaves my son with a total of $300 for the rest of the month for him to find a place to stay, food, gas and ect. Is that fair NO! She refuses to work because, 1. her mom HAD breast cancer. @. she 's scared of spiders. 3. she has O.C.D. 4. she don't drive. She get child support from the other 2 dads and now my son, so why would she want to work?
so in my opinion THIS DAD WOULD MAKE A BETTER PARENT TO RAISE THESE GIRLS.DAMN THAT FELT GOOD.....THANKS
Quote:
Originally Posted by RUBIES77
It is a fact that women make less money in the working force than men, for the same job. Therefore, with this in . dadsmind, when there is a divorce and the husband is the better provider than the wife, with a better education, do you think women should start thinking along those lines, and , allow him to raise the children? But what I have experienced is that some women become vindictive, for whatever reason the marriage failed, and they begin to use the children as weapon against the husband and seek full custody. Custody can always be shared. A lot of divorced or single mothers because they lack a good education or are skilled in better jobs, become poor. And the the life struggle with POVERTY begins. Also, because so many women seek full custody of the children, it becomes harder for therm to get remarried, since most men do not want other men's children. So women always become the losers......................AND usually the men remarried, establish a new family, and the women keep struggling, and the chances for them to remarried are almost always nil. What is your opinion? Thank you,
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some dads are better parents
