Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I met a wonderful guy about 4 months ago. We talked each day and saw each other on weekends for a month and during that time he admitted that he has feelings for me and both did not expect to fall for each other.
I've found myself developing strong feelings for this kind-hearted, warm, loving person and my feelings grew deeper as I got to know him better.
One night I was over at his place and we were talking and the next morning, he texted me and ended things. He didn't want to go any further and said things seem to be getting too serious between us.
He texted a number of reasons on why we should not go any further: The last 3 serious relationships he was in, he got cheated on. The other main reason was of who my ex was and because of that, he cannot see a future between us and nothing will come out of our relationship. He told me that things were getting too serious, moving too fast between us, we took things too far and that he was confused and don't know what he wants to happen. He said he wants to be with me but a part of him does not want to be with me.
I became very confused. In the last 3 months, I have felt nothing but sorrow, sadness, and heartache. I cannot remember the last time I felt for someone this way.
3 months has gone by and I am still unable to forget him nor move on. I am not sure that I want to forget him because he is constantly in my thoughts. He's the first person I think of when I wake up and no matter what I am doing, he's always on my mind. I miss him like crazy when we don't see each other and I take up every possible chance I could get to see him.
I noticed he has developed a pattern and only calls me on weekends, he would ask me if I want to see him and I say yes immdiately each time because I miss him and want to see him. But when we do see each other, we would only have sex and afterwards, I do not hear from him again until the following weekend or three weekends later. Each time I see him, things get a lot worse and I miss him more and want to change the relationship dynamics because of my strongs feelings for him. I can't forget him but is uncertain if I want to continue with this type of sexual relationship with him because I am so afraid of him breaking my heart once again.
I feel like I am in no position to ask about his feelings because it doesn't seem like he feels anything for me anymore (or he hides it well) and also because he thinks I no longer have feelings for him because I told him that since he's moved on with his feelings I have done the same. So he thinks we purely meet each other for booty calls. He does not know that I actually go over to his place because I want to see him and want to feel the closeness of what we had even if it's just for a little bit.
He doesn't know that I am still crazy about him. He was the only person on my mind for the past 3 months. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend because he broke up with his last girlfriend 4 months ago. The way he talks about her sounds like he still cares a great deal for her but knows they can't get back together because she cheated on him. He has her name tattooed on his arm so things may have been serious between them and she may be even pregnant with his child.
I don't know what to do with this person.
Please give some good advice on what I should do about this situation.
I feel bad that happened to you, but as a skeptic when it comes to love, that was pretty quick. It's better you found out now, than to have really been vested in it (pregnant, married, etc.).
If he's only calling you sporadically on the weekends...PURE BOOTY CALL!!! You need to be with someone who wants to be with you in the light and the dark.
Cut your losses. Don't you have any girlfriends who can take you out and show you a good time?
You can't make someone love you....(there's a funny saying that goes with that, but in light of the situation, I won't type it.)
If you're anything like me, you've still got a lot of heartache ahead of you, but ultimately time heals all. And if you're anything like me, you might even shed a tear and wear this sad song out (if that's possible, since Alison Krauss and an absolute angel). If he's the right guy, he'll realize what a big mistake he made and put his sissy fears behind him. If not, at least you'll have memories of a great guy that just didn't work out. Either way, if you love him, wish him the best and set him free. Maybe one day he'll get lucky enough to meet someone that can make him feel the way you do about him.
That's the only thing I want for her at this point and is the only thing I've ever directly asked God for. I would make me so happy to see her with someone that could change her life the way she changed mine.
Just be grateful. A love like that is a real treasure. Not alot of people ever get the chance to experience it.
Last edited by Philosophizer; 09-25-2008 at 03:23 PM..
I met a wonderful guy about 4 months ago. We talked each day and saw each other on weekends for a month and during that time he admitted that he has feelings for me and both did not expect to fall for each other.
I've found myself developing strong feelings for this kind-hearted, warm, loving person and my feelings grew deeper as I got to know him better.
One night I was over at his place and we were talking and the next morning, he texted me and ended things. He didn't want to go any further and said things seem to be getting too serious between us.
He texted a number of reasons on why we should not go any further: The last 3 serious relationships he was in, he got cheated on. The other main reason was of who my ex was and because of that, he cannot see a future between us and nothing will come out of our relationship. He told me that things were getting too serious, moving too fast between us, we took things too far and that he was confused and don't know what he wants to happen. He said he wants to be with me but a part of him does not want to be with me.
I became very confused. In the last 3 months, I have felt nothing but sorrow, sadness, and heartache. I cannot remember the last time I felt for someone this way.
3 months has gone by and I am still unable to forget him nor move on. I am not sure that I want to forget him because he is constantly in my thoughts. He's the first person I think of when I wake up and no matter what I am doing, he's always on my mind. I miss him like crazy when we don't see each other and I take up every possible chance I could get to see him.
I noticed he has developed a pattern and only calls me on weekends, he would ask me if I want to see him and I say yes immdiately each time because I miss him and want to see him. But when we do see each other, we would only have sex and afterwards, I do not hear from him again until the following weekend or three weekends later. Each time I see him, things get a lot worse and I miss him more and want to change the relationship dynamics because of my strongs feelings for him. I can't forget him but is uncertain if I want to continue with this type of sexual relationship with him because I am so afraid of him breaking my heart once again.
I feel like I am in no position to ask about his feelings because it doesn't seem like he feels anything for me anymore (or he hides it well) and also because he thinks I no longer have feelings for him because I told him that since he's moved on with his feelings I have done the same. So he thinks we purely meet each other for booty calls. He does not know that I actually go over to his place because I want to see him and want to feel the closeness of what we had even if it's just for a little bit.
He doesn't know that I am still crazy about him. He was the only person on my mind for the past 3 months. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend because he broke up with his last girlfriend 4 months ago. The way he talks about her sounds like he still cares a great deal for her but knows they can't get back together because she cheated on him. He has her name tattooed on his arm so things may have been serious between them and she may be even pregnant with his child.
I don't know what to do with this person.
Please give some good advice on what I should do about this situation.
Very confused.
You just need to move on......granted it will burn for a while and it probably won't be fun but it will be what's best for you.....let it burn and just do things to keep your mind off of him.....have a rebound relationship or whatever will help you through it but from the sounds of it.....if you don't get over this now you will be dealing with this feeling for a very long time.
Let it go and move on. Four months is not a long time to be with a guy and fall in love. You will find the real thing.
Next guy, don't be so quick to meet with every time he calls. Take your time, say no a few times when he asks you out. You sound too needy, not enough of a challenge for a guy.
Let it go and move on. Four months is not a long time to be with a guy and fall in love. You will find the real thing.
Next guy, don't be so quick to meet with every time he calls. Take your time, say no a few times when he asks you out. You sound too needy, not enough of a challenge for a guy.
screw that. interest level games get no one anywhere. this is exactly what's wrong with dating in our society and why courtship/romance have completely died. over analyzing things, keepings tabs on when to answer the phone and when not to, wondering what the other person is really thinking, wondering if you've been playing too hard to get, ect is completely assanine. yea, use some common sense when you first meet someone you might be interested in (don't tell someone how much you love them after a single date), but be spontaneous. Just be who you are. Someone out there is bound to love you for that.
I met a wonderful guy about 4 months ago. We talked each day and saw each other on weekends for a month and during that time he admitted that he has feelings for me and both did not expect to fall for each other.
I've found myself developing strong feelings for this kind-hearted, warm, loving person and my feelings grew deeper as I got to know him better.
One night I was over at his place and we were talking and the next morning, he texted me and ended things. He didn't want to go any further and said things seem to be getting too serious between us.
He texted a number of reasons on why we should not go any further: The last 3 serious relationships he was in, he got cheated on. The other main reason was of who my ex was and because of that, he cannot see a future between us and nothing will come out of our relationship. He told me that things were getting too serious, moving too fast between us, we took things too far and that he was confused and don't know what he wants to happen. He said he wants to be with me but a part of him does not want to be with me.
I became very confused. In the last 3 months, I have felt nothing but sorrow, sadness, and heartache. I cannot remember the last time I felt for someone this way.
3 months has gone by and I am still unable to forget him nor move on. I am not sure that I want to forget him because he is constantly in my thoughts. He's the first person I think of when I wake up and no matter what I am doing, he's always on my mind. I miss him like crazy when we don't see each other and I take up every possible chance I could get to see him.
I noticed he has developed a pattern and only calls me on weekends, he would ask me if I want to see him and I say yes immdiately each time because I miss him and want to see him. But when we do see each other, we would only have sex and afterwards, I do not hear from him again until the following weekend or three weekends later. Each time I see him, things get a lot worse and I miss him more and want to change the relationship dynamics because of my strongs feelings for him. I can't forget him but is uncertain if I want to continue with this type of sexual relationship with him because I am so afraid of him breaking my heart once again.
I feel like I am in no position to ask about his feelings because it doesn't seem like he feels anything for me anymore (or he hides it well) and also because he thinks I no longer have feelings for him because I told him that since he's moved on with his feelings I have done the same. So he thinks we purely meet each other for booty calls. He does not know that I actually go over to his place because I want to see him and want to feel the closeness of what we had even if it's just for a little bit.
He doesn't know that I am still crazy about him. He was the only person on my mind for the past 3 months. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend because he broke up with his last girlfriend 4 months ago. The way he talks about her sounds like he still cares a great deal for her but knows they can't get back together because she cheated on him. He has her name tattooed on his arm so things may have been serious between them and she may be even pregnant with his child.
I don't know what to do with this person.
Please give some good advice on what I should do about this situation.
Very confused.
I will be blunt with you like my friends use to be with me. You already know what you need to do. You just have to summon up the courage to do it. I'm not saying he does not have any feelings for you but they are certainly of the sexual nature. The situation will not get any better and it's better to shed tears now than later. Time is the only cure and there is no way to rush it. Just keep telling yourself your doing what's both best and healthest for you. Each day things will get better and at some point you will be able to make a clean break. It takes two to love and if one is not on board it can never be true. We don't need to tell you what you need to do because you already know. Stop texting and taking his calls and understand he either wants all of you or none of you. As sad as it sounds that's the way it is. Goodluck on the healing process.
Just because he got cheated on when he was with his past girlfriends doesn't mean he can use you as a booty call, tell you he has feelings for you, then dismiss you. What he did was confuse you and play with your feelings like a selfish idiot. Ugh, they guy is an idiot and a jerk. I am so sorry you got fooled by him. Time does heal wounds.
Completely agree....this generations IQ went down by a lot....dating isn't that difficult to do...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexianPatriot
screw that. interest level games get no one anywhere. this is exactly what's wrong with dating in our society and why courtship/romance have completely died. over analyzing things, keepings tabs on when to answer the phone and when not to, wondering what the other person is really thinking, wondering if you've been playing too hard to get, ect is completely assanine. yea, use some common sense when you first meet someone you might be interested in (don't tell someone how much you love them after a single date), but be spontaneous. Just be who you are. Someone out there is bound to love you for that.
do not have a rebound relationship. you will just be using somebody which is equally as cheap and selfish.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lola8822
You just need to move on......granted it will burn for a while and it probably won't be fun but it will be what's best for you.....let it burn and just do things to keep your mind off of him.....have a rebound relationship or whatever will help you through it but from the sounds of it.....if you don't get over this now you will be dealing with this feeling for a very long time.
Best of luck
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
