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Politely ask your spouse if there is anything positive or good that you've done for him that the two of you could discuss.....
Cue him gently to think of positive things when it comes to you.....bring up good times, fun times, times of success.....show evidence of good things that you've done....and then say it would be nice if family knew more about this......
Believe me, it will be tough...I'm sure it is like walking on eggshells for you....
The underlying issue is that your spouse probably has done something very shameful and wrong and is trying to guilt trip you and displace accountability.....which is wrong of course......and yes you should leave when it is financially safe to do so....good luck.
How do you get a spouse to stop talking bad about you to your family and friends(my 10 year old daughter included)?
He's obviously verbally abusive, but I have to stay for a while due to financial reasons.
Any suggestions withut getting myself killed in the process?
You need to explain more about your situations. Under WHAT circumstances does your hubby talk badly about you (is it after every single fight, or does he just do it just for the kick of it)? And when he does do that, what do those people (that he talks badly to, about you), say in your defense? Has anyone ever stood up to him?
How do you get a spouse to stop talking bad about you to your family and friends(my 10 year old daughter included)?
He's obviously verbally abusive, but I have to stay for a while due to financial reasons.
Any suggestions withut getting myself killed in the process?
Are you serious about the getting myself killed in the process?? I would not hang around to find out if our lives are in jeopardy. Sought out help whether it be from family or a womens shelter.
If it is an exaggeration then I would simply ask him what the problem is and that you would appreciate him not bad mouthing you. If he has a problem with you to talk to you about it. You mention that he is verbally abusive, then end it by the last comment. His he phycially abusive too? Please be more explicit.
How do you get a spouse to stop talking bad about you to your family and friends(my 10 year old daughter included)?
He's obviously verbally abusive, but I have to stay for a while due to financial reasons.
Any suggestions withut getting myself killed in the process?
Are you serious about the possibility of getting killed in the process??? If that is true you have a much bigger problem than just someone bad mouthing you. LEAVE THIS LOUSE IMMEDIATELY - call a women's shelter, they can help you.
If you were just making a joke and the only problem is verbal abuse here are my suggestions: Appeal to your husband for your daughters sake to curb this behavior. Remind him that he is SUPPOSED to have his childs best interests at heart and that doing this emotionally damages your daughter in ways that will cause her to have problems the rest of her life. Tell him to act like the grownup here and control himself for HER sake.
Then, do whatever you have to do as quickly as you can do it to leave this situation and take your daughter with you. Start working on a plan right now - you both need out of this situation ASAP. Best of luck to you.
Take a can of spray starch and starch his shorts 9(or something you've just brought back from the cleaners)
Let the air out of his tires ( a flat tire should give him something to complain about for ages)
Egg his car late at night so he can complain about the "people" that did it
Get up a bunch of cockleburs or sandspurs and put them in his shoes...
Cook him something to make him sick. If he's busy tossing his cookies, he cant complain at all...
Best of luck to you, dear. Just remember, there are subtle ways to make his life miserable without him placing the blame on you. Get out as soon as you can.
GET OUT OF THERE if he's being abusive...if he's just bad-mouthing and the abuse statement was an exaggeration, just tell him you'd appreciate it if he could be more respectful and refrain from bad-mouthing...definitely not a good idea to egg his car or sicken him with food...just gives him more fuel for the fire and lowers you to his level. This is very unhealthy for your daughter. If the tension and ill-will continues, at least consider letting her stay somewhere else temporarily, until you've moved into a better situation. She shouldn't have to be in the middle of this! I hope you get out of there soon, best of luck...
GET OUT OF THERE if he's being abusive...if he's just bad-mouthing and the abuse statement was an exaggeration, just tell him you'd appreciate it if he could be more respectful and refrain from bad-mouthing...definitely not a good idea to egg his car or sicken him with food...just gives him more fuel for the fire and lowers you to his level. This is very unhealthy for your daughter. If the tension and ill-will continues, at least consider letting her stay somewhere else temporarily, until you've moved into a better situation. She shouldn't have to be in the middle of this! I hope you get out of there soon, best of luck...
Aw...party pooper.
You gotta admit...it WOULD shut him up...
*psst*...OP, she didnt forbid flattening his tires or starching his shorts....
Most of the above suggestions are against the law. Ever read a penal code? Yep. It will keep you outta jail.
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