Quote:
Originally Posted by J2006
How long do people date or live together before getting married.
|
Psychologists generally agree that you should date for approx. 1 year and preferably 2 years to give enough time to thoroughly know the person since youre committing the rest of your life . The first year , you are both on your best behaviour ..and between years 1 and 2, you get to see the other person as they really are . As for living together before marriage, there are alot of pitfalls associated with this with the biggest being it results in a higher rate of failed marriages according to many studies ; heres some others which our pop culture and Hollywood Movies dont tell you about because they glorify it :
1. In a Shackup situation, its the man who clearly has most of the
benefits.
2. If the man leaves, the woman has a harder time supporting herself on
her own due to nearly always making less of an income. Her life is
usually sent into upheavel. At least for a time. Its not the same for
the man.
3. If the man leaves, its almost always the woman who feels deserted,
betrayed, used for sex, etc...and due to her emotional makeup as a
woman, she is devastated for a long time to come. Sometimes irrepairably
so.
4. If there are children involved , the Man can easily abandon the
family usually without any legal ramifications whatsoever ; because
marriage never occured , he is not placed in the same class as if he
were married and abandoned his family. He gets off without having to pay
child support leaving the woman in a real financial/emotional bind. Many
times, the Grandparents are imposed upon for support of many types.
5. It whittles away at the sancitity of Marriage which is always best
for a civilized nation. God ordained marriage and is a sacred covenant
; shacking up is not.
6. It adds to societal degradation thru promoting the philosophy of
using others for selfish reasons .
7. It doesnt develop integrity on behalf of the participants because
usually when things get too difficult and repeated...instead of being
committed to working it out, the door being left ajar is a greater
enticement . Its far easier to do than in a marriage.
8. Fornication is a violation of an absolute moral law and with it comes
plenty of ramifications ; some of which i list herewith. Others which i
have not.
9. Often, a subconscious or overt disrespect toward the woman , occurs
in the man because she is often seen as someone not having the required
respect for herself ,which the man appreciates.
10. The participants know, inherently, that its wrong to do but still
choose to suppress their moral consciences to accomodate the fun and
intrique that playing house affords . (at least it does initially).