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Old 10-10-2008, 05:25 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,824,483 times
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I completely agree. She sounds gay and is making up a ton of excuses of why to keep you at an arms length.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I know... Sorry for being so blunt, OP, but this sounds like dyke language to me. I've been observing one like that lately... that's how I know.
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Old 10-10-2008, 05:41 PM
 
70 posts, read 159,504 times
Reputation: 41
Isnt romance just game playing? Saying things you think the other wants to hear or doing things you think they need? So she would be like me in that she has had enough games and pretend emotions in her life.

I've been married a long time to a great man and we hang out and have fun and enjoy eachother, but when he tries to be "romantic" I say save it for the groupies, I'm not buying it. Kiss me while we are taking a walk with our kids and I would be thrilled - that's romance!

On the other hand, if she can't kiss or cuddle w/out alcohol, romance is not really the issue at all. It's chemistry and she doesnt sound like she has it with you. Sorry
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Old 10-10-2008, 05:43 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,824,483 times
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For some reason I think kissing and cuddling is romantic. I also agree with you.

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Originally Posted by impressionist View Post

On the other hand, if she can't kiss or cuddle w/out alcohol, romance is not really the issue at all. It's chemistry and she doesnt sound like she has it with you. Sorry
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Old 10-10-2008, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,591,505 times
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Yep....I agree..... she can`t kiss and cuddle, and calls you "cornball" on the phone?
Hhmmmm...... she is definetly on a diffrent page man.
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Old 10-10-2008, 11:31 PM
 
6,713 posts, read 13,922,046 times
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I have dated a women like this and it was horrible. I tried to stick it out but in the end I had to walk away. In her case it was because of her mom. Mom was 58 and had never been married. I guess her kids took after her because her brothers and sisters were over the age of forty and none of them have ever been married. I talked to her until I was blue in the face and it did no good. The sex with her was bad also and sure that had something to to with. Never again will I hang on that long.
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Old 10-11-2008, 12:15 AM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,824,483 times
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I'm sorry grainraiser, that must have been really pitiful for you. I hope you overcame that and found far better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grainraiser View Post
I have dated a women like this and it was horrible. I tried to stick it out but in the end I had to walk away. In her case it was because of her mom. Mom was 58 and had never been married. I guess her kids took after her because her brothers and sisters were over the age of forty and none of them have ever been married. I talked to her until I was blue in the face and it did no good. The sex with her was bad also and sure that had something to to with. Never again will I hang on that long.
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Old 10-11-2008, 12:34 AM
 
56 posts, read 158,214 times
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Cornball is a dyke word now? ...I'm not going to start using it.

I'm like that in relationships, after a while. I don't really like romance, or cuddling much.

It does sound like she's just not that interested.
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Old 10-11-2008, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Sydney, Australia
283 posts, read 757,912 times
Reputation: 195
i think you should avoid all this advice about leaving her because she is a 'cold fish', it's too harsh. if you are still together after 8 months then you can be sure that this girl likes you and wants to be with you. i have a similar attitude to romantic things. it just seems fake to me, unoriginal and too movie-like. it makes me cringe. that's not to say that i dont like to cuddle or do coupley things, and i feel all those emotions although i choose to express them in other ways then the corny hallmark card way. and i think the fact that she calls you a cornball is an affectionate thing. she probably does other things that are affectionate and caring without being romantic in a hallmark way. i definitely think you should talk to her about it though. my boyfriend always makes fun of me for being like that and i do feel silly about acting like that, but it's not a horrible thing that would end a relationship some people see romance in a different way.
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Old 10-11-2008, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,364,909 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soltero1965 View Post
Hello I need some help or advice I have been dating this very nice woman for about eight months now but every time I say something romantic or caring she tells me I am being corny and to stop. Sex is not bad and in fact its good. I need help communicating with her or even how to act when I am with her, she doesn't holding hands cuddling or even kissing that much unless shes had a few drinks then she tells me she cares for me or that she likes me or even tolerates romantic words. Help me I am going crazy.
At the risk of sounding like an amateur psychologist I'll say this anyway...

Your girl has intimacy issues. Do you know much about her family history? I'd be willing to bet there is a something there, or some event in her life, that has contributed to this this standoffish behavior. I would dig deeper into THAT, and then consider whether or not you want to continue pursuing this relationship.
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Old 10-11-2008, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 7,159,591 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soltero1965 View Post
Hello I need some help or advice I have been dating this very nice woman for about eight months now but every time I say something romantic or caring she tells me I am being corny and to stop....Help me I am going crazy.
This may seem rash, but I think you should give very serious consideration to continuing this relationship. Her lack of emotional intimacy -- and make no mistake, that's what this is -- is a huge red flag.

Obviously, people vary in their degree of romanticism. But what you have described sounds unusually cool. More troublesome is the disconnect between the two of you. You obviously want, need even, more and yet she is unwilling to give it to you. That's a recipe for long term frustration and disappointment. It is, in other words, a recipe for disaster.

Those who say "pour on the charm" are missing the point entirely. They're like the person who, trying to communicate in Mexico, doesn't speak Spanish but just turns up the volume on his English. The problem is not that you're not romantic enough, it is that she is uninterested. And you can be sure as the relationship progresses it will NOT get any better.
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