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Do you live your life as a continuum or as a series of disconnected chapters? Are you a person who stays connected to your past, or are you a rolling stone that gathers no moss?
Most of us probably fall somewhere in between. For myself I'd say there have been times when I've gone out of my way to stay connected to old friends, and other times when I've let years go by having no contact with people I had no doubt were amongst the most important in my life. Why I did this, I'm not so sure, but in some instances it would prove to be a big mistake.
One of my best friends, a guy I've known since I was twelve years old, whose wedding I was in and whose wife had to act as mediator and peacemaker a few years back when I didn't contact him immediately on one of my trips home, I loved this guy, but he was alotta work. A moody, hotheaded, hypersensitive kid who sometimes the only way not to tell him to go f**k himself was just not to not see him. A different kind of a spoiled kid who grew up cash rich because of his father's straight cash business, a "business" he would takeover when it became too dangerous for his father to go near it, my friend was one of the most generous people you'd ever want to know. The kinda kid who knowing the rest of us would be lucky to come out with a five dollar bill on a big Friday night would show up with a stack of twenties and treat us all to anything our limited imaginations could conjure. The kinda guy who, if he heard you were up against it would land on your doorstep, his Lincoln idling on the street parked at a harried angle and hand you the remedy, the idea of, "No," as an answer a futile one.
He was always a guy I knew I could count on no matter what, no matter how long it had been since our last contact, and he was a guy I always thought I'd see again, yeah you probably guessed it; about a year ago on a quiet Sunday afternoon, I got a call from a mutual friend who told me he had been killed in a head-on car collision. They tell me his mid-life crisis sports car was an accordion he had to be cut out of, and that emergency room doctors had worked on him a good three hours to try to revive him, though by then he would have been the proverbial vegetable. Big regret for me, that I didn't stay in touch with him, as you might imagine. Anybody else have any big regrets like this in your life? How 'bout the opposite? Any times you did stay in touch with important people from your past, family or friends, and are glad that you did?
I move around quite a bit. I think this place, now, will be the longest that I have stayed. I do feel as if my life is in chapters and that the changes that have occurred are so life altering that there is usually no bridge to whom I was. Of the deaths that have occurred there are three that have impacted deeply enough to question regret.
I do not have any regrets at this time.
I've moved around a lot so I've lost touch with my old friends. That or they have died or took the road of drugs and other bad things. I try not to hold on to my past because, to be honest, I'm better now than I've ever been in my life except for maybe young childhood. There were a lot of toxic people in my life that I've decided to get rid of even some connected by blood. My relationship is with the present.
Do you live your life as a continuum or as a series of disconnected chapters? Are you a person who stays connected to your past, or are you a rolling stone that gathers no moss?
Most of us probably fall somewhere in between. For myself I'd say there have been times when I've gone out of my way to stay connected to old friends, and other times when I've let years go by having no contact with people I had no doubt were amongst the most important in my life. Why I did this, I'm not so sure, but in some instances it would prove to be a big mistake.
One of my best friends, a guy I've known since I was twelve years old, whose wedding I was in and whose wife had to act as mediator and peacemaker a few years back when I didn't contact him immediately on one of my trips home, I loved this guy, but he was alotta work. A moody, hotheaded, hypersensitive kid who sometimes the only way not to tell him to go f**k himself was just not to not see him. A different kind of a spoiled kid who grew up cash rich because of his father's straight cash business, a "business" he would takeover when it became too dangerous for his father to go near it, my friend was one of the most generous people you'd ever want to know. The kinda kid who knowing the rest of us would be lucky to come out with a five dollar bill on a big Friday night would show up with a stack of twenties and treat us all to anything our limited imaginations could conjure. The kinda guy who, if he heard you were up against it would land on your doorstep, his Lincoln idling on the street parked at a harried angle and hand you the remedy, the idea of, "No," as an answer a futile one.
He was always a guy I knew I could count on no matter what, no matter how long it had been since our last contact, and he was a guy I always thought I'd see again, yeah you probably guessed it; about a year ago on a quiet Sunday afternoon, I got a call from a mutual friend who told me he had been killed in a head-on car collision. They tell me his mid-life crisis sports car was an accordion he had to be cut out of, and that emergency room doctors had worked on him a good three hours to try to revive him, though by then he would have been the proverbial vegetable. Big regret for me, that I didn't stay in touch with him, as you might imagine. Anybody else have any big regrets like this in your life? How 'bout the opposite? Any times you did stay in touch with important people from your past, family or friends, and are glad that you did?
When I was a kid I had this cousin through my stepfather who was closer to me than my sisters. We did everything together. We drifted in our teens. She was getting married and at a rehearsal she said a very mean thing about another cousin who was helping her alot. The girl adored her and she didn't like the girl, but to her face was all kiss kiss.I reacted badly and shut her off. I cannot as yet truly identify all the emotions. I was angry at her appearing to just use our cousin. I maybe was wondering if I was just being used by her earlier.I might have even been in love with her and jealous of the marriage.We never spoke again. She had been one of my best friends. Some family photo albums have hundreds of pictures of us together as little kids laughing, playing hugging.This was probably 29 years ago.
Funny I pretty much just described my exwife, the phoniness and using. And I ignored it and married her. Why did i dismiss my childhood best friend so quick and clean?
Lately I've been thinking alot about my teens and such and her and her mom. A lady passed by me this morning to sit down and caught my attention because she was the spitting image of my aunt clair. Then she laughed and had my aunts hoarse hearty laugh. And I looked and said in my head "nah it couldn't be?" And then they said her name! She suddenly recognized me too. She had the same shocked look, i could read her mind, that couldn't be pat? She burst into tears when I came up to her.
She had had it rough, life had beaten her down just as it had me. People started finding out we were cousins, cousin who knew a lot of the same people, just not each other. Then they started saying things like "OMG you two are so alike", and then one person really said it "I was thinking of introducing you to her because you remind me of her!"
A soulmate? kindred spirits? Very possibly! And a single resentment has kept us apart for 29 years. I'm going to try to reconnect with her. You got any like that? What are you waiting for?
Do you live your life as a continuum or as a series of disconnected chapters? Are you a person who stays connected to your past, or are you a rolling stone that gathers no moss?
Most of us probably fall somewhere in between. For myself I'd say there have been times when I've gone out of my way to stay connected to old friends, and other times when I've let years go by having no contact with people I had no doubt were amongst the most important in my life. Why I did this, I'm not so sure, but in some instances it would prove to be a big mistake.
One of my best friends, a guy I've known since I was twelve years old, whose wedding I was in and whose wife had to act as mediator and peacemaker a few years back when I didn't contact him immediately on one of my trips home, I loved this guy, but he was alotta work. A moody, hotheaded, hypersensitive kid who sometimes the only way not to tell him to go f**k himself was just not to not see him. A different kind of a spoiled kid who grew up cash rich because of his father's straight cash business, a "business" he would takeover when it became too dangerous for his father to go near it, my friend was one of the most generous people you'd ever want to know. The kinda kid who knowing the rest of us would be lucky to come out with a five dollar bill on a big Friday night would show up with a stack of twenties and treat us all to anything our limited imaginations could conjure. The kinda guy who, if he heard you were up against it would land on your doorstep, his Lincoln idling on the street parked at a harried angle and hand you the remedy, the idea of, "No," as an answer a futile one.
He was always a guy I knew I could count on no matter what, no matter how long it had been since our last contact, and he was a guy I always thought I'd see again, yeah you probably guessed it; about a year ago on a quiet Sunday afternoon, I got a call from a mutual friend who told me he had been killed in a head-on car collision. They tell me his mid-life crisis sports car was an accordion he had to be cut out of, and that emergency room doctors had worked on him a good three hours to try to revive him, though by then he would have been the proverbial vegetable. Big regret for me, that I didn't stay in touch with him, as you might imagine. Anybody else have any big regrets like this in your life? How 'bout the opposite? Any times you did stay in touch with important people from your past, family or friends, and are glad that you did?
I like the way you have waxed your lyrics. Sorry to hear about your friend. I have moved around so much and have become such a different person that I have lost touch with most but have kept intouch with the ones who made an inpact on my life.
When I was a kid I had this cousin through my stepfather who was closer to me than my sisters. We did everything together. We drifted in our teens. She was getting married and at a rehearsal she said a very mean thing about another cousin who was helping her alot. The girl adored her and she didn't like the girl, but to her face was all kiss kiss.I reacted badly and shut her off. I cannot as yet truly identify all the emotions. I was angry at her appearing to just use our cousin. I maybe was wondering if I was just being used by her earlier.I might have even been in love with her and jealous of the marriage.We never spoke again. She had been one of my best friends. Some family photo albums have hundreds of pictures of us together as little kids laughing, playing hugging.This was probably 29 years ago.
Funny I pretty much just described my exwife, the phoniness and using. And I ignored it and married her. Why did i dismiss my childhood best friend so quick and clean?
Lately I've been thinking alot about my teens and such and her and her mom. A lady passed by me this morning to sit down and caught my attention because she was the spitting image of my aunt clair. Then she laughed and had my aunts hoarse hearty laugh. And I looked and said in my head "nah it couldn't be?" And then they said her name! She suddenly recognized me too. She had the same shocked look, i could read her mind, that couldn't be pat? She burst into tears when I came up to her.
She had had it rough, life had beaten her down just as it had me. People started finding out we were cousins, cousin who knew a lot of the same people, just not each other. Then they started saying things like "OMG you two are so alike", and then one person really said it "I was thinking of introducing you to her because you remind me of her!"
A soulmate? kindred spirits? Very possibly! And a single resentment has kept us apart for 29 years. I'm going to try to reconnect with her. You got any like that? What are you waiting for?
This morning? That's crazy.
I've got a couple relatives on my father's side who couldn't have been less sensitive and sympathetic to me when he died. I flew back for the funeral alone, stayed in a hotel and on top of my grief, and the regret I'd had due to the split there'd been between the two of us in the years leading up to his death I had to deal with the tension and flat-out backstabbing while my father was still warm.
I have spoken to one of them recently. But only because I really had no choice. It's been alotta years, and I know it may seem otherwise but I'm usually not a guy who holds a grudge. It's just, if they could ice me and worse in that kind of situation, I don't know, I just can't get past it. Will I regret that too? One of them is an old woman by now after all. But every time I think of picking up the phone and trying to reach out before it's too late, I feel that same anger boiling up inside me all over again.
I've tried recently to reconnect with people from my past but most it seems have moved onto other things.
I don't know how old you are but I remember when I was in my 20's and early 30's that's how it was with me and the guys I'd grown up with too. One thing I have noticed though, is that as they and I get older we both seem more open to that kind of thing. Lately I've talked to a few guys I haven't heard from in 15 years and it was great. After a few minutes it was like no time had passed, and we were insulting each other with the same derogatory physical descriptions and racial stereotypes as always and it did my heart good.
I don't know how old you are but I remember when I was in my 20's and early 30's that's how it was with me and the guys I'd grown up with too. One thing I have noticed though, is that as they and I get older we both seem more open to that kind of thing. Lately I've talked to a few guys I haven't heard from in 15 years and it was great. After a few minutes it was like no time had passed, and we were insulting each other with the same derogatory physical descriptions and racial stereotypes as always and it did my heart good.
I'm 37 now,but also it may be different for women because theres usually other factors involved in 'reconnecting'
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. Sorry to hear about your friend. I have moved around so much and have become such a different person that I have lost touch with most but have kept intouch with the ones who made an inpact on my life.
A Heart Good...Hmm
