Alright Ladies....Hot guy or smart guy? (girlfriends, attractiveness, gay)
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Oh I love stirring controversy. Almost as much as stirring a good martini.
I just like to get people debating and talking, it's fun. I don't like to make people angry, but that's the unfortunate side effect of making them think outside the box or consider other people's viewpoints. I have to think about the majority view and be subjected to it daily -- I don't think it hurts for other people to consider other ideas sometimes. I know the whole white picket fence, 2.5 kids, marriage, ordinary job, and retirement at 65 thing has gotten a lot of press, but I just want people to see there are those of us who find that a NIGHTMARE, not a dream.
My brother is the same way as you are . . . he is 44, successful, straight, and will not ever be married.
My brother is the same way as you are . . . he is 44, successful, straight, and will not ever be married.
There are a lot of people like that, maybe not percentage-wise, but they are out there. Heck I know a gorgeous girl who is about 45 now, my dad's old secretary from back in the day, she's been married and divorced THREE times now, I think honestly she should just give it up. She's a fun girl, a smart girl, very ambitious, she doesn't need to get married. Obviously she has no need for one guy, but she won't embrace that evidently because she keeps getting married, haha. I think people just assume since society says that's what you should do, it must be right for everyone. I don't think it's right for her.
What I have in reality is hot and smart, and that's what I demand, but that wasn't part of the poll choices. *grin*
If he's hot, he at least will have my sexual interest...and he can be dumb but have a really good work ethic. I know lots of smart, lazy men, and I can't respect them.
You can tolerate dumb? We typically attract what we are you know. Not being theoretical. It's fact.
Jon---Fear of death, I don't know anyone who wants to die. Of course there is some fear there but not for the reasons that you pointed out. I have children so of course I hate to leave them behind, but especially while they are young.
My last statement to you was fear of intimacy which I stand by. You choose not to get close to any one female and that is fine but your reasons are somewhat amusing. There are pre-nups that can protect you from giving away your assets. This has to do with you not wanting to get close to a female because it scares you, obviously look at the argument. If you marry then you lose everything and are held hostage!?! Come on!
Also, I know plenty of people that are married that never plan on having children. As a matter of fact, I know more and more couples like that today.
You also stated that you have no desire to be with the same woman for the rest of your life and I have to say that I have heard many men state this exact argument. I can also tell you that I seen many men run the opposite direction of this argument once they hit their late 40's early 50's. Seriously. I'm not saying that you will change your mind but most men will sooner or later settle down and when you are the only one left single, standing on your own, you may change your mind. Not that society has to change your mind but men want women and men want women to want them.
As I stated before, everyone ages and no one, I don't care who you are, no one really wants to age or die alone. If all of your male friends get married who are you going to hang with and talk to? Not saying that marriage ends this but you become less and less part of the group because your social dynamics are less like theirs.
I am not advocating for you to get married nor do I think that you have to. If you want to be single for the rest of your life (and you do) then by all means have all the sex you can and live life to the fullest. But you can do this with a partner as well! Getting married is not the end of the world or the end of sex! The best sex I have ever had is with my hubby! Seriously!
And as an added note, I do not think that I need a man to be happy. I just know that for me, I want a man in my life. Not need, want!
I voted smart guy with the money. Looks will eventually fade away and you'll just be stuck with some dumb, poor and ugly guy. But, start out with a smart guy with money and most likely you'll end up with a smarter guy with more money, who looks no worse than the "hot" guy.
Yes...and I told you (big surprise on the singledom, btw) that I am married and have only seriously dated hot _and_ smart...
And I've learned that being smart (which I assure you, I am) is not necessarily a great enough quality to offset glaring personality flaws. *koff* It guarantees nothing about a person, and it is fairly overrated. Which is why it is only one of my real life criteria for a partner. (The rest have more to do with common values, work ethic, family, etc. Oh, and being hot. )
So, based on the parameters of the poll, if my choices are hot/dumb or smart/ugly, I stand by my choice.
My uncle did not marry until he was 45. He's a doctor and traveled the world and now he owns his own doctor's office. Very smart, attractive, financially stable man who did not marry until 45. We thought he would never get married and that was fine. He happened to meet someone who wanted that and he fell in love and they have been together for 10 years now. He has never been happier!
Btw, being smart doesn't mean you're going to be rich.
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