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he wants to start living the way Christianity says that he should.
The way Christianity says one should live one's life is very much based on personal interpretation. Many Christians have many different ideas on what a "Christian life" is or how it should be lived. And going to church is not the only way to be "closer to God". There's a difference between religion and spirituality. A person can be spiritual without being religious. If it were me, I would simply bring up this points to him and express my feelings.
But if he's decided this is the way for him, you wouldn't be ending the relationship because he wants to be closer to God, you would be ending it because he has changed and become a different person with a different lifestyle then what you want. In order for a couple to be compatible, they must share the same kind of lifestyle.
The way Christianity says one should live one's life is very much based on personal interpretation. Many Christians have many different ideas on what a "Christian life" is or how it should be lived. And going to church is not the only way to be "closer to God". There's a difference between religion and spirituality. A person can be spiritual without being religious. If it were me, I would simply bring up this points to him and express my feelings.
But if he's decided this is the way for him, you wouldn't be ending the relationship because he wants to be closer to God, you would be ending it because he has changed and become a different person with a different lifestyle then what you want. In order for a couple to be compatible, they must share the same kind of lifestyle.
I agree completely...spirituality is the essence, not the vehicle through which it is expressed. Everyone should be free to celebrate their belief system in whatever manner they choose, (unless, of course, it involves dark & ugly things...!) Many religions are so rigid they encourage their followers to either convert or completely shun those who do not share the same code of morals/ethics. If someone told me he wanted me to "check out" his religion and conform to it so we could be together, I'd be very offended...I'd say "I have my own beliefs, thank you very much, you can keep yours all to yourself!!!" We should be loved as we are, not because someone thinks they can mold us into an appendage of themselves!
Spirituality can truly break up a relationship. My girlfriend and I were together over a year. I love God and feels that he made me the way I am (Lesbian). My girlfriend feels in her heart that we're perfect for each other but her upbringing was very conservative Christian.
She started acting distant and then explained to me that she couldn't be with me because the Bible doesn't say it's okay. The more I tried to make her see it my way, the more she dove deeper into organized religion.
We went from being best friends having amazing sex to my entering her life a trick of the devil testing her faith in God.
She is now a hyper-religious. I think the whole situation brought us closer to God... but in different ways.
Last edited by Madgirl1111; 02-11-2017 at 03:16 PM..
Reason: Grammer
Spirituality can truly break up a relationship. My girlfriend and I were together over a year. I love God and feels that he made me the way I am (Lesbian). My girlfriend feels in her heart that we're perfect for each other but her upbringing was very conservative Christian.
She started acting distant and then explained to me that she couldn't be with me because the Bible doesn't say it's okay. The more I tried to make her see it my way, the more she dove deeper into organized religion.
We went from being best friends having amazing sex to my entering her life a trick of the devil testing her faith in God.
She is now a hyper-religious. I think the whole situation brought us closer to God... but indifferent ways.
"I imagine God is weary of being called down on both sides of an argument."
Some people mangle religion to fit their needs at the time, with unfortunate results. Check to see if you're doing that, and then go forward with your spiritual development and let her figure out hers. It sounds like she has a LONG way to go.
So I have always had a very lukewarm interest in religion. I believe in God but do not know enough about Christianity (or any other religion) to establish a real relationship with it. I know that there are a lot of strict guidelines to follow if you are saved and I feel like my life would not change very much if I were to follow those rules (with the exception of premarital sex, an occasional cocktail, and an occasional curse word).
My current boyfriend is already a great guy but he wants to start living the way Christianity says that he should. I think that this is great for him, but I'm not sure if I can put my full heart into it. I think it would be absurd to end the best relationship that I've had because he wants to be closer to God (it could only make him a better man) but I've been to church many times in my life and have never felt the need to become a woman of God to improve my life. I can deal with the lifestyle for the most part (sex? I don't want to stop, but I will.. but I draw the line at only listening to Christian music) but I don't know if it's the right thing to do.. especially because it's not important to me get married.. ever! I'm willing to start going to church more and learning more to see if I develop a deeper interest, but I know myself pretty well and have my doubts that I can be as serious about it as he plans to be. I love him but I'm really afraid that this will come between us eventually. What would you guys do?
My vote is run ! Then eat , and drink , for tomarrow you may die . But what a night!!
So I have always had a very lukewarm interest in religion. I believe in God but do not know enough about Christianity (or any other religion) to establish a real relationship with it. I know that there are a lot of strict guidelines to follow if you are saved and I feel like my life would not change very much if I were to follow those rules (with the exception of premarital sex, an occasional cocktail, and an occasional curse word).
My current boyfriend is already a great guy but he wants to start living the way Christianity says that he should. I think that this is great for him, but I'm not sure if I can put my full heart into it. I think it would be absurd to end the best relationship that I've had because he wants to be closer to God (it could only make him a better man) but I've been to church many times in my life and have never felt the need to become a woman of God to improve my life. I can deal with the lifestyle for the most part (sex? I don't want to stop, but I will.. but I draw the line at only listening to Christian music) but I don't know if it's the right thing to do.. especially because it's not important to me get married.. ever! I'm willing to start going to church more and learning more to see if I develop a deeper interest, but I know myself pretty well and have my doubts that I can be as serious about it as he plans to be. I love him but I'm really afraid that this will come between us eventually. What would you guys do?
Well, first thing's first. Christianity spans such a broad array of practices and beliefs that it's almost impossible to put the faith in a nice, tidy box of how Christians behave. I am an Episcopalian (And, of course, so is God. So glad we cleared that up) and our approach to life and living is nothing like that of fundamentalists. For example, some schools of thought are far more obsessed with the question of sin, while others tend to focus on grace. Some want to boast the word from loudspeakers on the roofs of their churches, while others believe that our ongoing works in the world to alleviate poverty, oppression and human misery are the best testimony. Some believe that every syllable of the Bible is the direct utterance of God, while others don't believe that at all.
To be sure, there are some absolutes, such as don't cheat on your spouse, don't steal, don't murder, and the whatnot. But otherwise, there are deep and profound differences in Christian practice. And one of those is likely suited to you. Paul himself said that the genius of the faith is that it provides different people with different things.
So if you really like this guy and there's a basis for moving ahead, then look into the different approaches to the faith–but only if you're willing. Don't just look at the most vocal faiths and those with the biggest churches, but those who practice quietly and faithfully. And make your choices based on that. And, most of all, don't be coerced into a life with which you don't feel comfortable.
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