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Do you find motivation from within or from external forces?
Personally, I am internally motivated and competitive with myself...as funny as that sounds. All through school, I was more worried about beating the test score I had before and I never wondered about my classmates grades or performance.
The reason I ask, my eldest son is the EXACT opposite and I do not know how to spark a drive within himself...if that is possible.
Last edited by mrstewart; 10-28-2008 at 06:10 PM..
I like your post and the topic. Thank you for sharing. I am similar to you in that I really never cared much about competing with others; however, there are occasions where I see somebody else doing something and I say to myself "hmmm I can do that too but in my own special way"....that is the most competitive that I get.
In the real world people VALUE external motivations much more than internal. That is what I've seen. It is very common in high school, in college, and in work. So I tend to see a lot of dog eat dog competition because the external motivators are so important.
I have high expectations...but for myself. I tend to be happy as long as I see my kiddos working as hard as they can...afterall, what more can I ask for? But when I see someone not living up to their potential I get agitated...
What can I do, Artsy?
Has anyone been an externally motivated person who changed to being internally motivated? If so, how did you do it?
I guess I would have to say internally........I dont need outside forces to keep me going...I keep going because I want to get my piece of the "pie"; because I know theres more out there and want to see how far I can go......I dont think there's a way to make your son motivate himself though..... some ppl push themselves and some need pushing. But I think motivation for some is out of necessity.
Do you find motivation from within or from external forces?
Personally, I am internally motivated and competitive with myself...as funny as that sounds. All through school, I was more worried about beating the test score I had before and I never wondered about my classmates grades or performance.
The reason I ask, my eldest son is the EXACT opposite and I do not know how spark a drive within himself...if that is possible.
And then there are those of us - the hopelessly unmotivated! lol. But seriously there people, such as myself, who have little or no motivation at all. The only way I am motivated is to do something for someone else (usually my husband), out of love. As far as personal achievement, usually I could care less. Lord help you if your son is an Aquarius - not the most motivated of star signs, by any means.
As a parent, surely you have seen what fires him up. Use that model for your own devices! LOL
And then there are those of us - the hopelessly unmotivated! lol. But seriously there people, such as myself, who have little or no motivation at all. The only way I am motivated is to do something for someone else (usually my husband), out of love. As far as personal achievement, usually I could care less. Lord help you if your son is an Aquarius - not the most motivated of star signs, by any means.
As a parent, surely you have seen what fires him up. Use that model for your own devices! LOL
20yrsinBranson
Love is a great motivator...that is the sweetest thing I have read all day
My brother was the same way and he is now very successful...he was sort of a late bloomer in the motivation department
Training? Train him to be internally motivated by giving lectures and showing how important it is to be internally motivated. Give him some lee way too because external motivations such as money are very important.
When I say externally motivated I am mostly referring to what his friends are doing, grades they are getting, etc...not money...not yet!
I just never gave a rip about other peoples grades. He'll come home witha mediocre grade and I'll say "Christopher, I think you can do better than this" and he will say "Mom, so and so made a 'D' so a 'C' is not that bad"...His litmus is skewed...maybe...?????
Oh my Jesus...I think he is trying to say the class is real tough and he needs some tutoring or extra help (not that that is shameful). You have to use straight forward problem solving in that situation. This really isn't about his "friends" it is just his way of saying the class is a beach and he might need some tutoring and need you to encourage more studying and you should reward him for better grades too.....
I was forced into taking chemistry in high school and she taught it almost at college level. It was totally horrible and the teacher was pure evil. Either he needs to change teachers or get a tutor and you need to push him to study more and do all extra credit that is offered. Just do straight forward problem solving. Ok. Did that help you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
When I say externally motivated I am mostly referring to what his friends are doing, grades they are getting, etc...not money...not yet!
I just never gave a rip about other peoples grades. He'll come home witha mediocre grade and I'll say "Christopher, I think you can do better than this" and he will say "Mom, so and so made a 'D' so a 'C' is not that bad"...His litmus is skewed...maybe...?????
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