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I'm at a strange place in my life right now. I'm young, not tied down, no kids. I want to travel, pursue my career ambitions, and enjoy my freedom. Eventually I do want to meet someone who matches me and have a family, but I realize how hard that is going to be and I don't want to settle for just anyone.
In the mean time, I think it would be fun to have romantic relationships with men who I can feel very passionate about but who may not be "the one". They would be more like lovers. I know this is a very old, romantic concept - one that we really don't hear very much about. Now everything is all about sex. I'm really not interested in sex without emotion, or any kind of affection. I want it to be more than just sex.
My question is, have any of you gone through a stage where you had romantic relationships without all the entanglement of commitment? How did it work out? Is there one that stands out in your mind? And do you think its possible to have that with dating as it is today?
I've never entered a relationship under the guise of being a 'lover' but what you're describing kind of sounds like, I don't know......dating. Everyone you date isn't going to be the 'one'.
Haven't you dated guys that you had fun with and cared about and maybe even loved but they weren't the one? I know that I've dated women like like that. I think that everyone has at some point.
If you want to date with no commitment, go right ahead. Again, I think that alot of people have done that and it's not uncommon. There is nothing wrong with dating multiple people as long as you're truthful with the other persons about what you're doing. And limit the sex in such relationships lest you become somewhat of a slutbag.
Nope. Doesn't work. You can try to tell yourself that there's "no commitment", but as soon as you "get involved" you are "involved" - physically and emotionally. There are few people that can separate their emotions from their dalliances.
The only way I could see that working is if you had multiple lovers at the same time. Then, yes, you may be able to, for a time anyway, have enough different things going on to occupy your time and mind, that you could keep your emotional distance. But as soon as you start liking one guy a little more, or as soon as one of them doesn't call when you thought he would...ok, I still don't see this working.
I hate to say it can't work just because I haven't been able to make it work. I've tried and alternately I or my lover has been more interested in making it permanent. Good luck!
I've never entered a relationship under the guise of being a 'lover' but what you're describing kind of sounds like, I don't know......dating. Everyone you date isn't going to be the 'one'.
Haven't you dated guys that you had fun with and cared about and maybe even loved but they weren't the one? I know that I've dated women like like that. I think that everyone has at some point.
If you want to date with no commitment, go right ahead. Again, I think that alot of people have done that and it's not uncommon. There is nothing wrong with dating multiple people as long as you're truthful with the other persons about what you're doing. And limit the sex in such relationships lest you become somewhat of a slutbag.
I had to laugh at your last line, although I think you meant it as an insult. And yes I have dated someone that I love and cared about but who I knew it would never work long term with, which is why I started thinking about this.
I would describe it as more than just dating. Dating is just that - dating. Having someone as a "lover" is a sort of agreement. You agree to love that person, and be involved, but you also agree that there is no commitment. So I think there is a slight difference.
They aren't my stories to tell, on a public board, sorry.
And for me, personally, I just don't think I can understand the concept. If I had a woman that I was passionate about and I cared about, I think I would just call her my girlfriend...and see where things can go from there.
For me, I don't want to have sex with people that I don't think I could be friends with for 19 years. No sex is ever 100% safe, and I've been around too many couples that hate each other, to want and try to do that type of relationship for almost 20 years.
Everybody can do what they want...but it's not for me, and I haven't seen positive results from it.
I'm at a strange place in my life right now. I'm young, not tied down, no kids. I want to travel, pursue my career ambitions, and enjoy my freedom. Eventually I do want to meet someone who matches me and have a family, but I realize how hard that is going to be and I don't want to settle for just anyone.
In the mean time, I think it would be fun to have romantic relationships with men who I can feel very passionate about but who may not be "the one". They would be more like lovers. I know this is a very old, romantic concept - one that we really don't hear very much about.
Not odd at all. It's pretty much exactly what I did in my 20's. Go forth and have a great time.
Nope. Doesn't work. You can try to tell yourself that there's "no commitment", but as soon as you "get involved" you are "involved" - physically and emotionally. There are few people that can separate their emotions from their dalliances.
The only way I could see that working is if you had multiple lovers at the same time. Then, yes, you may be able to, for a time anyway, have enough different things going on to occupy your time and mind, that you could keep your emotional distance. But as soon as you start liking one guy a little more, or as soon as one of them doesn't call when you thought he would...ok, I still don't see this working.
I think there would have to be some ground rules to work out with the other person. But I think it could work out. If both people are secure, if they both agree to the terms, why not? Maybe at times someone would feel jealous, but doesn't that happen in any relationship? What relationship doesn't have problems?
I've never tried it before, but I think theoretically it could work.
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