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So the inlaws, after years of talking about it, finally went for their decision to move out of House A (their current house) and buy another property (House B). They bought House A years ago, about 13 to 14 years ago, and honestly, House A is just a decent house -- a 2 bedroom, 1 bath (they only have one grown son, my future husband), but House A has a huuuuge land, huge enough that, if they wanted to, they could build another house of the same size as House A on the same property.
However, they are looking to get rid of House A because House A is too huge for self-maintenance (the land, not the house itself), and they don't want to spend $$$ to maintain the land.
Now, a few years back, I remember his Mom mentioning that if they ever move out of that House A, they are willing to let us move into House A and pay, at the most, a little less than our current rent. Sounds good, right?
Well, but in actuality, can anyone tell me the "hidden" costs (emotionally, etc.) of moving into the former house of your future inlaws? From your experiences, do the inlaws become more.. controlling over what goes in that house, etc.? Good? Bad?
So the inlaws, after years of talking about it, finally went for their decision to move out of House A (their current house) and buy another property (House B). They bought House A years ago, about 13 to 14 years ago, and honestly, House A is just a decent house -- a 2 bedroom, 1 bath (they only have one grown son, my future husband), but House A has a huuuuge land, huge enough that, if they wanted to, they could build another house of the same size as House A on the same property.
However, they are looking to get rid of House A because House A is too huge for self-maintenance (the land, not the house itself), and they don't want to spend $$$ to maintain the land.
Now, a few years back, I remember his Mom mentioning that if they ever move out of that House A, they are willing to let us move into House A and pay, at the most, a little less than our current rent. Sounds good, right?
Well, but in actuality, can anyone tell me the "hidden" costs (emotionally, etc.) of moving into the former house of your future inlaws? From your experiences, do the inlaws become more.. controlling over what goes in that house, etc.? Good? Bad?
I cant say from an in-laws standpoint but my dad wants to move into his moms house (she lives in a retirement community now) and he was talking about repainting the kitchen and getting new carpet and my grandma is "dissapointed" in his descision. I wouldnt be able to do it psychologically if I were him because if my husband and I took my dads house, we of course would take the master bedroom and it would feel ackward having sex in "my parents room". lol
But it sounds like you are getting a great deal, just make sure you actually own the house and are not renting it so anything you want to do will not be a big deal or up for argument.
Thx babigyrl5! My main concern, like you said above, is the "control" issue. Even IF we move into House A and take over the ownership, would that still be an issue?
So from your Dad's story, how did the renovation issue turn out?
1) You have to haggle with your in-laws in a biz transactions. That means they know your personal money affairs. What's more, NO real estate closing ever takes place that doesn't have some ill-will.
2) When you inevitably redecorate, you are immediately rejecting their own tastes in decor.
3) They'll cut corners in what they're willing to do for you versus another seller. They won't fix the furnace, the roof, or whatever else you would expect from a normal seller.
4) The neighbors would know you as Marge and Ken's kids, and then breathlessly report all the goings on to your in-laws.
1) You have to haggle with your in-laws in a biz transactions. That means they know your personal money affairs. What's more, NO real estate closing ever takes place that doesn't have some ill-will.
2) When you inevitably redecorate, you are immediately rejecting their own tastes in decor.
3) They'll cut corners in what they're willing to do for you versus another seller. They won't fix the furnace, the roof, or whatever else you would expect from a normal seller.
4) The neighbors would know you as Marge and Ken's kids, and then breathlessly report all the goings on to your in-laws.
Don't do it. It's trouble from the word Go.
Wait, so you're saying that the seller could have access to your mortgage paperwork? I thought only the loan companies have complete access to the buyers' financial records.
#4 is not so much of a concern, because they never really have any kind of contact w/ neighbors (huge land).
As far as #2, oh well... all I can say is that they could kiss my tail if they ever want to complain about our wish to redecor
The house will never truly be yours...it will always be your inlaws former home...know what I mean?? If it were my inlaws, they would also tell everyone what an incredible "deal" we got on it...
Thx babigyrl5! My main concern, like you said above, is the "control" issue. Even IF we move into House A and take over the ownership, would that still be an issue?
So from your Dad's story, how did the renovation issue turn out?
He never moved in but he did do the renovations so he could sell the house at a higher price and though she said the new carpet in the living room was pretty she gave him a guilt trip saying that that was the original wood of the house that was replaced and they dont make floors like that anymore and his father applied the top coat of finishing laquer on it himself and when he was a baby he would run around in his walker on it...." you get the point lol and the new paint in the kitchen was pretty but her and her husband "picked out the original paint together and they painted it when she was pregnant with my dad...." so he had to deal with that lol. Now he wants to change the doors and get better insulated windows- oh boy! lol
I think it all depends on the type of people your in laws are and what sort of a relationship you have with them. A good deal is a good deal. Take the house, paint it....decorate it....own it and make it all yours!
I can give you insight from the other side. I sold my home-my daughters growing up home to my daughter and her hubby. They needed the room and I wanted to sell. The first couple of times she painted or changed something I felt a pang BUT once I trained my mouth to call it her house it became her house. This way I can visit, hear my grandson share his excitement at having his mom's old room and other such things. I believe it depends 100% on the emotional release of the people selling. One caution-do change the locks. Privacy is a precious thing. I would never knowingly invade my daughters but with different locks it just CAN't happen.
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