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Well, if he's bringing it up, it's a hopeful sign.
What's more, there are men who want to get established in business, etc., before they settle down. It's less common now than in the past, but it's still there.
That being said, you need to realize that he might be one of those guys who like the idea of a committed relationship, but run when they're staring down the business end of it.
Here's what you should do. Let the relationship go three months, just so you're not pushing things. Then bring it up again. Just ask point-blank, "Are you serious about this?" After all, if he's over 40 and never been married, then it's a legit question to ask, in a non-accusatory fashion.
Thank you for your honest and direct answer to my question. I do know he hit the skids in his 30's business wise and now is doing well so I agree with that point you made re: being established.
I'm still trying to figure out why people ostricize others who are older (beyond say 30) and still aren't married. Just because you make that choice not to ever get married doesn't mean something is wrong with you LOL
It's no different than a woman who decides to never have kids and instead wants her life to be about her career...
I'm still trying to figure out why people ostricize others who are older (beyond say 30) and still aren't married. Just because you make that choice not to ever get married doesn't mean something is wrong with you LOL
It's no different than a woman who decides to never have kids and instead wants her life to be about her career...
In this case I am not ostricizing him nor do I think there is something wrong with him. I agree that maybe he just hasn't found the right one. BUT one tends to wonder... let me re-phrase that, society tends to wonder if it's just not for you if you havent taken the plunge by 40.
Why is it you are almost always the first to chime in on every post? You must LIVE on your computer!
Oh, excuse moi. Next time please specify you want to be told only what you want to hear or make a list of undesirable members whose opinions are not welcome on your thread. I’ve seen one too many women being strung along in this fashion (because if these guys ever wanted to commit they would’ve done so by now) and rationalizing it away like you do and it’s quite sad and pathetic - when commitment is the woman’s goal that is. I just dislike seeing fellow women deluding themselves and wasting years of their lives. However, if that’s your “thing,” by all means enjoy it and don’t mind me a bit.
I dont find it odd that a man would wait until 40 to marry. I do think though that if a man was serious about having kids that thought would have crossed his mind alot earlier and marriage would have been discussed sooner. Does that make sense? Rare, i would think, for a man to START thinking about being a father at the age of 40.
On the other hand, he might have just been banging everything that moved up to now, and is just kind of tired of it. I know a couple of guys like that.
On the other hand, he might have just been banging everything that moved up to now, and is just kind of tired of it. I know a couple of guys like that.
Oh, excuse moi. Next time please specify you want to be told only what you want to hear or make a list of undesirable members whose opinions are not welcome on your thread. I’ve seen one too many women being strung along in this fashion (because if these guys ever wanted to commit they would’ve done so by now) and rationalizing it away like you do and it’s quite sad and pathetic - when commitment is the woman’s goal that is. I just dislike seeing fellow women deluding themselves and wasting years of their lives. However, if that’s your “thing,” by all means enjoy it and don’t mind me a bit.
Chill out! The fact that you wrote that much is sad. You didn't answer the question directly- that is all I wanted. And as you can read from my other posts- I do realize both sides, not just what I *might* want to hear. Plus, I'm 22 and seeing this guy a two months, that doesn't exactly put me in the category of "wasting my years".
So this is a generalized question but I wanted to get a general opinion...
A guy that is 40 years old, never married, never lived with anyone and no children... is it unlikely he would ever commit?
As you could probally tell this a guy who I have been seeing. On the second date he brought up the whole marriage/kids issue and asked me where I stood on it. I want both someday and like any normal female probally would like the option to be there. He "claims" he is very much open to the idea of marriage and/or children if he falls in love and it's what the women wants.
Being cynical I guess I'm thinking he probally said that to keep things cool and frankly get what he wants.
Thoughts??
I'm currently dating some women that have kids that have had *bad* experiences with guys like this and basically state in their profiles that they won't date guys like this. They *tend* to be selfish and used to their independence and can't make the adjustment to the sacrifice required for that lifestyle.
I've met 2 women now around that age that are very similar.
In general, it takes a major mindset change at that age to make a transition like that. IMO.
I wouldn't bag all people that are that age as having malicious selfish intent if they haven't been married yet. I've known a lot of women from NYC that have been having busy lives getting their career started and enjoying life and then all the sudden they wake up one morning 39 years old and BOOM reality hits. Then their perspective changes towards having a family and a husband.
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Next time please specify you want to be told only what you want to hear or make a list of undesirable members whose opinions are not welcome on your thread. I’ve seen one too many women being strung along in this fashion (because if these guys ever wanted to commit they would’ve done so by now) and rationalizing it away like you do and it’s quite sad and pathetic - when commitment is the woman’s goal that is. I just dislike seeing fellow women deluding themselves and wasting years of their lives. However, if that’s your “thing,” by all means enjoy it and don’t mind me a bit.
