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I need to vent a bit, has been awhile since Ive visited this forum, I wonder if others have lived through these issues.
3 years ago I witnessed my former SIL and her 20 year marriage (to my current husbands brother) fall apart, due to his drinking,drugs, accidents, etc (The man is 50- has 2 kids he never sees, etc.)
It is a complete mess, and now, in some respects, I see the same in my sham of a marriage- the stbx has stopped drinking but now takes meds to stop- last night he had insomnia- took too many and damaged his car on the way to work.
He's in the hospital (this is a second incident, there was one in Florida in 2003)
The person I am with now was enabled, since age 16 by his mother in doing drugs, drinking etc. We have no kids (Thank God), his family consists of enablers and users who act like all this garbage is normal. I am sick to death of it. I didnt even visit him in the hospital.
I am angry that his family takes no responsibility; I called an Intervention hotline, they said its hard to do an Intervention when its just the spouse.
All people who were parents in the 50's and 60's who enabled this and allowed the kids to run rampant, these are the results. Men in their late 40's and 50's who cant even function in the world....It makes me so angry that his mother and sister will denty their responsibility till one of these men dies in fatal accident.
I am done with it- realize I can do nothing, in fact was supposed to be at Al-anon this evening but would rather chat here.
I need to vent a bit, has been awhile since Ive visited this forum, I wonder if others have lived through these issues.
3 years ago I witnessed my former SIL and her 20 year marriage (to my current husbands brother) fall apart, due to his drinking,drugs, accidents, etc (The man is 50- has 2 kids he never sees, etc.)
It is a complete mess, and now, in some respects, I see the same in my sham of a marriage- the stbx has stopped drinking but now takes meds to stop- last night he had insomnia- took too many and damaged his car on the way to work.
He's in the hospital (this is a second incident, there was one in Florida in 2003)
The person I am with now was enabled, since age 16 by his mother in doing drugs, drinking etc. We have no kids (Thank God), his family consists of enablers and users who act like all this garbage is normal. I am sick to death of it. I didnt even visit him in the hospital.
I am angry that his family takes no responsibility; I called an Intervention hotline, they said its hard to do an Intervention when its just the spouse.
All people who were parents in the 50's and 60's who enabled this and allowed the kids to run rampant, these are the results. Men in their late 40's and 50's who cant even function in the world....It makes me so angry that his mother and sister will denty their responsibility till one of these men dies in fatal accident.
I am done with it- realize I can do nothing, in fact was supposed to be at Al-anon this evening but would rather chat here.
thoughts?
hmmm...I think I'd get up off the computer and head over to Al Anon - they can offer you a lot more REAL help than the folks here can
well, they have another meeting tomorrow night. Sometimes the meetings are way depressing, people stay for like 15 years in the same situation. I know I won't.
well, they have another meeting tomorrow night. Sometimes the meetings are way depressing, people stay for like 15 years in the same situation. I know I won't.
(Also its too cold out tonight!-lol)
Hey, I can relate, I'm all bundled up and not budging the rest of the night myself
Seriously, you know you have to get out of the relationship you are in right? So what's stopping you?
Yes, thanks for your thoughts, I have known...I need to get my job qualif. in order, (and pray that the housing market gets better next year-lol-and pray for a miracle)
But yes, I do know that. In fact I felt great today when, after the police came to the door at 4 AM, I went back to sleep, went to work, and took care of my needs first. (5 years ago I would have- ran to the hospital) He was fine, like all addicts, they hurt those around them, while they have nine lives.
What really sickens me is his mother, she acts like her two sons are perfectly normal, I know its way past that and at this point I shouldnt even care.
I am angry that his family takes no responsibility; I called an Intervention hotline, they said its hard to do an Intervention when its just the spouse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey
What really sickens me is his mother, she acts like her two sons are perfectly normal, I know its way past that and at this point I shouldnt even care.
You are wasting you time and energy even thinking about this. It is their issue, not yours and the more energy you put into be sickened by it then the more you are going to cause unnescessary grief onto yourself. Leave the person you are with, you will be better off for it in the long run and if he gets sober, and stays sober, then good for him. You cannot get an addict to stop unless they want to stop; interventions rarely work and usually end up with the user getting pissed off and using again out of spite.
Seriously, go to Al-Anon, and get out of that relationship.
What is he on? Antibuse? That stuff is serious and he should not take anything else with it...it has a high probability of causing a seizure...
You certainly have your hands full!
I thought that this stuff was taken off the market because too many husbands/boyfriends were beating the cr*p out of their partners for slipping it into their food?
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