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So if I wanted you to sign a pre-nup, you'd refuse because you say it's not about the money, it's about the trust? Well if that's true, you should sign it, because if it's not about the money and the marriage is going to last forever, there's no harm putting your signature on another piece of paper guaranteeing that now is there?
But in your case, it doesn't matter how long the marriage lasts you have no intention of sharing what you have anyway.
If I bought you a brand new car and I said I would feel more comfortable if you had insurance in the event that somthing happens. Would you feel that I did not trust your driving ability also?
(Remove the fact the you need insurance to drive a new car off the lot.......that is if you did not pay cash for it or it's a state requirement)
That is what a will does. I am not a car, I am a human being that has been married to the same man for 44 years. I don't like the idea of going into a marriage thinking it might end. That would not be a real marriage. When I said till death do us part, I meant it.
Sure I get that, but things do happen. I would not be foolish enough to think "it can't happen to me".
I hate to say it but things are not the same for me as they were for you when you married 44 years ago. Heck, I've only been living 34 years. You've been married 10 years longer than I've been lving.
People/Times have changed drastically. When you got married women were barely in the work force, now it's common to see women running large corporations. Not as common as I'd like to see be it's not unusual to see it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN
That is what a will does. I am not a car, I am a human being that has been married to the same man for 44 years. I don't like the idea of going into a marriage thinking it might end. That would not be a real marriage. When I said till death do us part, I mean it.
So if I wanted you to sign a pre-nup, you'd refuse because you say it's not about the money, it's about the trust? Well if that's true, you should sign it, because if it's not about the money and the marriage is going to last forever, there's no harm putting your signature on another piece of paper guaranteeing that now is there?
I will probably never marry again, but if the situation came up; I certainly would never marry someone who asked me to sign a pre-nup. That would not be a marriage, it would be a financial arrangement. It's the principle of the thing. The question is what I would do and I really don't care what you think about it. My answer is "No."
I would not sign a pre-nup but I would sure as heck make him sign one! LOL! No, seriously, pre-nups don't bother me as long as they are not leaving someone out high and dry. I would never sign a pre-nup that did not have some benefits to me as a wife nor would I have my man sign a pre-nup that did not benefit him in some way. I would never accept a pre-nup that completely cut me out!
This thread, though reminiscent of a cat chasing its tail, brings up all kind of good points.
I hear: "well, if you love me, you wouldn't want a pre-nup."
I also hear, and personally believe because of the too-high failure rate in marriages: "well, if you love me, you'd put my mind at ease and tell me the attraction is about me, and not my things (I'm a coat and tie person, but not rich), and sign a pre-nup."
I would not sign a pre-nup but I would sure as heck make him sign one! LOL! No, seriously, pre-nups don't bother me as long as they are not leaving someone out high and dry. I would never sign a pre-nup that did not have some benefits to me as a wife nor would I have my man sign a pre-nup that did not benefit him in some way. I would never accept a pre-nup that completely cut me out!
I saw a movie on TV a couple of weeks ago that helped shape my opinion. You are wise in what you say. The pre-nup gives the one with the most money all the advantages. In this movie the man had the lady sign a pre-nup and then he got a "honey" and dumped her out of the house with nothing after she had been a wife to him for years. This lady was never his wife. She was his bedroom toy and when he got tired of her, he threw her out. As a woman, I have the responsibility to look out for myself and not let myself be taken advantage of in that way. That is why I would never marry a man who asked me to sign a pre-nup. If a man or woman expects a pre-nup, they are really not commiting to a marriage.
I would be offended if a fiancee asked me to sign a pre-nup.
If you love someone you should trust them wholeheartedly.
Signing a pre-nup would make me think that they love their money more than anything else or anyone else for that matter which is wrong.
Money isnt everything.
Well in this day and age marriages are not lasting long. So lets say he had $3.5 million in real estate and another $4.3 million in cash and investments before you met and got married. This is not a lot but it's enough to protect.
Now let's say the 2 of you got divorced after 3 years of marriage. Would you still feel entitled to a portion?
Quote:
Originally Posted by dvcgal
I would not sign a pre-nup but I would sure as heck make him sign one! LOL! No, seriously, pre-nups don't bother me as long as they are not leaving someone out high and dry. I would never sign a pre-nup that did not have some benefits to me as a wife nor would I have my man sign a pre-nup that did not benefit him in some way. I would never accept a pre-nup that completely cut me out!
The pre-nup gives the one with the most money all the advantages. In this movie the man had the lady sign a pre-nup and then he got a "honey" and dumped her out of the house with nothing after she had been a wife to him for years.
If you look at the statistics, there's more of the "taking him to the cleaners" and than there are husbands getting tired of the wife and getting a new "honey." In most cases, not speaking from experience, a lot of extra-marital affairs are probably off the radar screen and just end. I think that a pre-nup could be set aside if it was THAT unconscionable....in other words, if someone is rich, wants to get married for its corporate or professional value and play the field, but I'm not sure. The only movie I could think of that had something like what you are describing was "Beaches" (a true chick flick) in which the ONLY scene I can remember from the 2-hour movie is when Barbara Hershey comes home to unexpectedly find another woman in the house with her husband...and wearing HER bathrobe.
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