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Go on a second date and then tell her: "The only reason I am going on a second date is because my friends asked me to turn you into some kind of cat lady" and watch her reaction.
Firstly, she is definitely rejecting you. Secondly, why on the first date would you think that she would be affectionate? Just because you are, that should really be reserved for later dates once you get past the first few.
I think the fact that she is dating is just what she said it is, she is appeasing her friends and you just happened to be the guy that got the date. I wouldn't pursue any longer and just leave it to her to get in contact but it sounds like she's having a great time being single and doesn't want anything permanent right now. Take the hint and learn from it...
Was out with this girl today for a first date and she mentioned "I am having a great time being single and enjoy it a lot, I'm doing this only because my friends are forcing me and they are worried about me that I will turn into some kind of cat lady...."
usually this kind of comment bothers me because why hide the fact that you are looking for someone for yourself? I don't get it? Is it something to be embarrased about? The last thing I want is a woman who has that "I don't need a man" attitude. Well, if you don't need a man then why date them? eh?
btw, we "met" on eharmony. Now, what exactly does this mean? If she was not interested why in the world would she take the trouble of driving all the way to meet up with me? I didn't pursue the argument.
The date went fairly well except for this statement and the fact that she was a bit "colder" than I would like, meaning less affectionate given that I am extremely affectionate by nature. But that could just be because she is being cautious of going too fast which is also understandable, but its hard to diffrentiate if she is that way by nature or just until we are more comfortable.
I am thinking of asking her out for a 2nd date but have just a tad bit of a reservation...but I have always thought that I should at least give it 3 dates if it has some potential... thoughts?
Everybody, unless they are total psychos, should have a second date. Maybe she was just babbling to fill up the empty spaces--something women are wont to do.
However, if she says this again, then she's saying, "I am a loon who has been pressured into dating by my friends." Drop her like the proverbial hot potato if this occurs.
A lot of women (and even men; read: not ALL, but just a lot) will say "I'm loving the single life!" not so much for you, but for themselves. They are trying to convince themselves that they are happy being alone when, in reality, they are lonely and want someone to spend their time with.
The rest.. was just fluff. She's embarrassed that she is looking for dates online, which may be something to question. Is she socially inable to secure interested men in real life? Or, does she just not have time to get out and meet people? -- this is potential "red flag" that you need to be aware of.
Let it go a couple days and see if she contacts you. If not, she's definitely not interested. Or, you can send her a follow up - "hey, thanks for the good time" type email or msg.
Did you feel any sort of spark or connection with her? Was there anything about her personality that intrigued you?
Gee,im only here on this date because my friends thought i will turn into a cat lady!
She doesnt sound really interested in dating..why bother then?
She could be a little embarrassed or nervous.
You might give it a second date but it doesnt look promising.
Maybe she's just embarrassed that she had to go on eharmony in order to get a date?
Chicks say things like that to make them appear less 'unwanted' as though they don't really need the date when in real life, they are dying to meet someone.
Suggest you give her a couple of days and then ask her for a 2nd date. If she turns you down and does not hint at another date, you know the answer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tropical Trouble
I agree with this one. After all, maybe she said what she did because she doesn't want you thinking she's "desperate". Most guys say in their online profiles that they want someone who is independent and happy with their life, so maybe that's what she was trying to project. I think it would have been worse if she'd said "I'm so happy we met, I really want to meet a nice guy, get married and have kids real soon. So, how long do you think people should date before getting engaged?"
I'm usually not "affectionate" on a first date either. Some will end with a quick hug if there was real chemistry, but first dates can be very awkward if you've never met the person before.
How did the rest of the conversation go? Did you have lots to talk about? Did you think she's pretty? Interesting?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Everybody, unless they are total psychos, should have a second date. Maybe she was just babbling to fill up the empty spaces--something women are wont to do.
However, if she says this again, then she's saying, "I am a loon who has been pressured into dating by my friends." Drop her like the proverbial hot potato if this occurs.
I agree with all of these. I think a lot depends on how she said it, and you are the only one who was there to see it.
I say don't judge her on one silly comment if the date was otherwise good. Give her a second chance. If she doesn't want a second date, then you'll know and what have you really lost??
Even if she was saying that as a cover for her insecurities or what not, it is IMO still a rude comment to make on a first date. Assuming you behaved politely and did nothing uncouth or otherwise unacceptable, I speculate this woman went home without anything to complain about regarding your treatment of her.
If she paid $ to E-Harmony and acts like this, then she's only wasting her own money and time. Don't be the one helping her do it.
Firstly, she is definitely rejecting you. Secondly, why on the first date would you think that she would be affectionate? Just because you are, that should really be reserved for later dates once you get past the first few.
I think the fact that she is dating is just what she said it is, she is appeasing her friends and you just happened to be the guy that got the date. I wouldn't pursue any longer and just leave it to her to get in contact but it sounds like she's having a great time being single and doesn't want anything permanent right now. Take the hint and learn from it...
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