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Women are known to test men. All he is saying is that you can feel used and the women will see if you will drop down and do anything, wherever she asks for something.
During a relationship, it is good to do nice things for your woman but if you always run up and do things for her, then she will think you are a pushover and it is a test like the guy described. During the beginning of a relationship, women want a nice guy, but one who is a challenge.
When you always do what someone else says, some people lose respect for you. However if you are married, that's a different ballgame, in which a man has to be a total nice guy.
Regardless if most women do not admitt it, they ALL test men in some form or fashion, even if it is subconscious. Even then, women can test men too much and it starts crossing over to severe mind games, which you must stop.
I do not think the OP was saying you should not do nice things for a woman
Last edited by Black Jack22; 11-24-2008 at 09:43 AM..
Women are known to test men. All he is saying is that you can feel used and the women will see if you will drop down and do anything, wherever she asks for something.
During a relationship, it is good to do nice things for your woman but if you always run up and do things for her, then she will think you are a pushover and it is a test like the guy described. During the beginning of a relationship, women want a nice guy, but one who is a challenge.
When you always do what someone else says, some people lose respect for you. However if you are married, that's a different ballgame, in which a man has to be a total nice guy.
Regardless if most women do not admitt it, they ALL test men in some form or fashion, even if it is subconscious. Even then, women can test men too much and it starts crossing over to severe mind games, which you must stop.
I do not think the OP was saying you should not do nice things for a woman
I'll admit it. Initially, without taking for granted or pushing limits, I do test men to a certain degree, absolutely so - but again, only have that certain degree at a lower end scale. Some people do mistake kindness for weakness. Perhaps it is a maturity thing to really understand the difference.
Something i have noticed some women do,usually younger women..
A woman(not your girlfriend)tries to get you to do something for her.
My usual approach is to tell her to do it herself!
I feel like some women will ask you to do something to see if you..
Have a backbone or if they can get you to do anything they want..
I dont mind being a gentleman or holding the door open but..
Fixing your car,mowing your lawn,running to get you something to eat.
No thanks,I used to be the "nice guy"and do this stuff in the past but..
Just ended up feeling like a punk.
Any thoughts?
doing these things do not bother me, it's when someone becomes co-ependent on me...or usese me,
try not to allow the past to cloud your good will...and realize, it was your choice to allow these women to use you....and only part of our learning process...
Thanks Wanneroo and Chance2jump im glad somebody gets what im saying.
I ve been guilty of being the guy who was "too nice"in the past and..
Now i want to be the nice guy with an edge/little attitude.
I realize that men use women as well but my thread is about a specific scenario.
I would describe the edge as boundaries instead. I think with every type of relationship you have to have boundaries which consist of what you will and wont do and your own self interest. I am a very thoughtful, nice person myself, but I balance that with my own self interests, my time, my health, my other relationships etc.
I've come across some women that think I am supposed to be their heavy lifter, handyman and chocolate cake and wine provider and yes those relationships end very quickly. I'm not looking for tit for tat "payback" but if there is never any thoughtfulness on their part, there is really no relationship.
Women are known to test men. All he is saying is that you can feel used and the women will see if you will drop down and do anything, wherever she asks for something.
During a relationship, it is good to do nice things for your woman but if you always run up and do things for her, then she will think you are a pushover and it is a test like the guy described. During the beginning of a relationship, women want a nice guy, but one who is a challenge.
When you always do what someone else says, some people lose respect for you. However if you are married, that's a different ballgame, in which a man has to be a total nice guy.
Regardless if most women do not admitt it, they ALL test men in some form or fashion, even if it is subconscious. Even then, women can test men too much and it starts crossing over to severe mind games, which you must stop.
I do not think the OP was saying you should not do nice things for a woman
Hmmm...........
Having been on the receiving end of some these frankenstein games and experiments women play, I find often they overplay their hand and when I've had enough I walk away and vanish completely and move on. Since now I'm more street wise and older and experienced, the manipulators I can see coming from a mile away so I don't mix with them at all.
I find more than men, women have extensive lists of "requirements' of which with the point I've reached in my life, I longer have any desire to explain myself or play mind games.
Dont stop being giving because some people are users.
I dont think thats a test..Its a personallity that you dont like. Let it be your red flag.
I think young women ask because they havent HAD to do it themselves yet.
Which is way easier than asking someone else.
Having been on the receiving end of some these frankenstein games and experiments women play, I find often they overplay their hand and when I've had enough I walk away and vanish completely and move on. Since now I'm more street wise and older and experienced, the manipulators I can see coming from a mile away so I don't mix with them at all.
I find more than men, women have extensive lists of "requirements' of which with the point I've reached in my life, I longer have any desire to explain myself or play mind games.
can't agree with you more there...
but in the same, there are a lot of women who don't play stupid mind games, a lot of nice women...who are really caring...
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