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Well, then, there are a lot of those guys, b/c I have a few intelligent, extremely successful lady friends who get hit on by guys...who run away when they find out what these women do and how much they make.
wow, that's too bad. well, I can't speak for all women, but I am sinlge and don't hace to sponge off anyone. I'm not in an abusive relationship and would NEVER let myself be in one like that. I don't need constant reassurance about anything.
sorry the woman you though would be great turned out to be a dud. She must have had zero self esteem despite of her qualities on paper, huh?
Quote:
Originally Posted by IonRedline08
Well, for example, I work in a building that is at least 95% women, with over a 1000 people working there.
It is almost a "battle-cry" for women to say "I'm independent". They seem to be the same ones that are either sponging off of someone, have an abusive boyfriend at home, etc
A lot of women I have dated for brief periods of time, they start off saying that. They more deep you delve into it, you find these are the ones that call you constantly, text you all day, need constant reassurance, etc..
I dated someone recently that is exactly like this.
That being said, I would LOVE to meet someone that has her stuff together and has those things. I met someone recently I thought would be a great catch, had almost all of that stuff. What a dud! Most boring person I have ever met, even though she was fantastic on paper!
well, they can be. Like they have something to prove or are very defensive. I'm not talking about the ones like that, I just mean a woman who has her s**t together and still friendly, outgoing, etc. But when a guy gets to know her, does he start to feel like he's not needed in her life?
I still want companionship and togetherness. I would still like the chivalry metioned in other posts. I don't want guys to run away thinking: oh she has everything she needs, she doesn't need me hanging around", etc
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot
Good visual......kind of like "Barbarella." (Never seen it, but have seen the stills in a book at Borders or B&N).
If they're TOO independent, they seem to border on being butch. You all agree?
I don't mean black or white or anything else, race aside, not sure why it gets singled out like that, but it applies to all races of women. It's expected of men to have everything together and for the woman to have just slightly less? but if women and men were matched in career, car, home, etc. would that be intimidating? not that she couldn't be in a successful relationship. It was a topic my sister and I discussed and I wanted to get some objective feedback.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grainraiser
"When I think of the term "Independent Women" I always think of the black community as they seem to be the only ones who use this term (i.e., "Im a strong, black, independent woman!!!"). Its like black men for some reason think that a woman who is capable of taking care of herself and is successful is someone who would be difficult to have a successful relationship with."
This has been my experience also. It's a instant turnoff for me when I hear this because they seem to think one's ability to take care of themself is a unique quality. They are the first to say my man should take care of me once you get with them.
Heck, I do. Man, I would hate for a woman in my life to depend on me for everything, including their opinions. How boring would that be?
Me? I always liked feisty women who have a brain in their head. That way, you knew they were with me because they liked me, not because they just needed somebody, anybody to be with to buttress their self-esteem.
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...kind of like "Barbarella." (Never seen it, but have seen the stills in a book at Borders or B&N).
