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Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
39,031 posts, read 23,012,380 times
Reputation: 36027
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelyinLa
I do see what you're saying, that if given the choice you wouldn't chose a smoker. However, you're not getting my point either. There are many things that turn me off: dishonesty, infidelity, can't handle money etc.,
My question is, if you found out the person you were dating smoked, would you leave him/her if it was an otherwise perfect relationship?
See to me, something that's superficial and would never be a good enough reason to leave a man. It has to be something serious like abuse, infidelity, bad father, worse SO, can't hold a job, irresponsible etc. To me, bad habits are just not on this level. At least not any that I can think of right now. Of course I'm not talking about people with full blown problems. We're talking about regular stuff, and not people who need to go to a meeting.
I'm a non-smoker and for me, smoking is a vice that I absolutely cannot tolerate. Since I'm miserable around cigarette smoke, I would not be happy being married to a smoker no matter how good his other qualities are. It would never work relationship-wise for me to date or marry a smoker as I would never be comfortable as breathing would be a challenge.
I'm a non-smoker and for me, smoking is a vice that I absolutely cannot tolerate. Since I'm miserable around cigarette smoke, I would not be happy being married to a smoker no matter how good his other qualities are. It would never work relationship-wise for me to date or marry a smoker as I would never be comfortable as breathing would be a challenge.
No one is saying that smokers don't deserve being loved or being in a happy relationship. As others have said before, non-smokers are much happier dating other non-smokers... and smokers should stick to dating other smokers.
It's really akin to having the same moral and spiritual values as your partner. Even as a young child, I knew that smoking was a vice and an expensive addiction that I didn't want to pollute my body with. At the same time, I also knew that I didn't want to try cocaine, heroin and other drugs. I hate that my parents smoke and I have zero respect for anyone my age or younger that smokes because I feel that they should have known better than to ever start smoking... because if I am so enlightened, so should also be as anti-smoking ads and information was readily available to the whole public in my youth.
I'm 99% with you, no smokers and no drugs. period.
but I drink socially, and I would be ok with a social drinker, not heavy on the hard stuff, mustn't drink EVERY night, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja
smoking is a deal-breaker for me
so is drinking any alcohol
so i only date people who don't smoke, and who don't do drugs including alcohol
recovery is a beautiful wonderful place to live
Nothing like the smell of liquor breath........the next day!
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal
I'm 99% with you, no smokers and no drugs. period.
but I drink socially, and I would be ok with a social drinker, not heavy on the hard stuff, mustn't drink EVERY night, etc.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
39,031 posts, read 23,012,380 times
Reputation: 36027
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
No one is saying that smokers don't deserve being loved or being in a happy relationship. As others have said before, non-smokers are much happier dating other non-smokers... and smokers should stick to dating other smokers.
It's really akin to having the same moral and spiritual values as your partner. Even as a young child, I knew that smoking was a vice and an expensive addiction that I didn't want to pollute my body with. At the same time, I also knew that I didn't want to try cocaine, heroin and other drugs. I hate that my parents smoke and I have zero respect for anyone my age or younger that smokes because I feel that they should have known better than to ever start smoking... because if I am so enlightened, so should also be as anti-smoking ads and information was readily available to the whole public in my youth.
I agree wholeheartedly. It's all about compatibility as I know I could never be happy around someone who smokes so I'm better off with a non-smoker. I also have less respect for younger smokers as they should know better than to pick up the habit. The older crowd, I have more patience with because anti-smoking campaigns were not prominent when they picked up the habit.
Nope, never in a million years would I date a smoker. I don't care if he's a hot looking millionaire with a witty sense of humor, loves sports, cats, and children. Smoking is a deal breaker. Period. If I'm lucky enough to find a guy to spend the rest of my life with, I'd like his life to last just as long as mine.
One smoking uncle died a miserable death of lung cancer, another smoking uncle died of stomach cancer and a third is currently undergoing radiation treatment for lung cancer after an operation failed. All were/are in their 50's and very heavy smokers (upwards of two or three packs a day). My non-smoking aunts & uncles are now in their 60s and 70s. My Dad who is the oldest, quit smoking in his 30s and is now 76. The uncle who is currently undergoing treatment is just 54 and I'm quite sure his non-smoking wife isn't thinking as she's about to lose her beloved husband at such a young age, "gee, I'm glad I was so tolerant of his smoking". The first uncle who died at 57 was one of my favorites, the life of the party, so much fun to play poker with, and just an all around great guy. I miss him a lot.
I would date a smoker, but I would not marry one. I've buried enough loved ones that bought the farm due to smoking. My choice not to marry a smoker is a selfish one of not wanting to go thru the sadness again. But dating? No problem. I don't like it, but I don't wish to be a control freak or force my opinion on someone else.
It's his body, not mine...his to decide what to do with. Many of my family members & close friends smoke; they are considerate of those around them. I will never shut someone out of my life because they have a few bad habits....I could probably beat them with the number of (other) bad habits I have. I just draw the line when it comes to marriage. Since I'm never getting married again, moot issue.
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The first uncle who died at 57 was one of my favorites, the life of the party, so much fun to play poker with, and just an all around great guy. I miss him a lot.
