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I would tell her for sure and handle responsibilities but also treat myself as well. What or how I do treat myself is my business- of course within reason.
I would expect her to use a portion for herself as well.
Forget logic, a lot of guys make absolutely no sense. Here we go, I go to work everyday, deal with all kinds of BS, try my best to do a good job, at the end of the year, the company recognizes my effort which most of the time, they won't.
Is there any doubt that the merit is all MINE? I don't even understand logically why a woman should be entitled to some of this or if not wanting to disclose it would be considered "dishonest". Makes no sense at all!
Well, I am not married or anything like that, but if the person I am dating is the person we are talking about, sure... I'd mention it. Why not? I'd probably also mention where I am investing it (since most likely, that's what I would do).
Now, if I had enough to get a nice gift or a romantic get-away, I might not mention anything until after I give the gift of course. "Oh, how did you afford this?" ... "Well, I ran into a windfall..."
If I were married, of course I'd tell my spouse. I can't imagine hiding it. I think people who hide money from each other in a marriage have deep seated issues and probably shouldn't be married in the first place. After all, in marriage there isn't his and hers anymore... even the vows and ceremony say it... "two become one" so it would be "ours" since the married couple is an entity in and of itself.
After all, in marriage there isn't his and hers anymore... even the vows and ceremony say it... "two become one" so it would be "ours" since the married couple is an entity in and of itself.
I absolutely disagree. If anything, I think couple should keep their finances separated unless they buy something together, like a home, then each of them should be responsible for half of everything when it comes to payments and it should come out of their individual accounts.
Forget logic, a lot of guys make absolutely no sense. Here we go, I go to work everyday, deal with all kinds of BS, try my best to do a good job, at the end of the year, the company recognizes my effort which most of the time, they won't.
Is there any doubt that the merit is all MINE? I don't even understand logically why a woman should be entitled to some of this or if not wanting to disclose it would be considered "dishonest". Makes no sense at all!
I make my husband breakfast and lunch every day to take to work. He could go to lunch and pay out of his own pocket on food and extra gas if he wanted, as well as stay longer to accommodate the travel time. He could also get up earlier and make it himself, but he's out the door by 6:15 and has enough to do, in my opinion. He could shuttle his own dry cleaning around and take time out of his day to call Traeger because the grill is not firing and needs a new part. He'd rather I do stuff like that for him and kick down some cash at bonus time or treat me to something nice to show his appreciation. He's gotten a bonus for years and has always shared with me without my asking for it. Last year was the first year in a long time that I got one (new parent company) and he still shared with me and our children. Next year he probably won't get a bonus for the first time in a long time (poor profits), and he's already apologizing to me.
I absolutely disagree. If anything, I think couple should keep their finances separated unless they buy something together, like a home, then each of them should be responsible for half of everything when it comes to payments and it should come out of their individual accounts.
Joints accounts, joint credit cards are for fools
My opinion is marriage is that the point of it is to establish a common life together where you (and your spouse) put someone else ahead of yours and you share a life together (as in completely share). If you are getting married and already looking to divide things before the marriage even starts, then you really aren't committed to the idea of a married union and you are already planning to split up. I say in that case, don't get married.
Besides, a spouse having their own credit card is by no means protection against you having to pay it if it comes to that. What if you spouse is wracking up debt and you don't know (because you don't get the statements) and then you go to buy a home and find out you can't get a loan because their credit score is so poor? Or if you end up divorcing, doesn't matter that they had their "own debts" in many places. Person I am dating now is paying off their ex's credit cards that they had during the marriage (they had separate cards and the end result was they didn't see the statements for years and didn't realize how much debt the other really had and as we know, assets AND debts are split during a divorce).
And how do you split bills 50/50 if you earn unequal amounts? If I make $100k a year and I marry someone who only makes $50k a year, how can I expect them to pay half of my bills? Or if I marry someone who makes $200k a year, how am I going to be able to live in their lifestyle?
It all boils down to our own personal preference I guess.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
My opinion is marriage is that the point of it is to establish a common life together where you (and your spouse) put someone else ahead of yours and you share a life together (as in completely share). If you are getting married and already looking to divide things before the marriage even starts, then you really aren't committed to the idea of a married union and you are already planning to split up. I say in that case, don't get married.
Besides, a spouse having their own credit card is by no means protection against you having to pay it if it comes to that. What if you spouse is wracking up debt and you don't know (because you don't get the statements) and then you go to buy a home and find out you can't get a loan because their credit score is so poor? Or if you end up divorcing, doesn't matter that they had their "own debts" in many places. Person I am dating now is paying off their ex's credit cards that they had during the marriage (they had separate cards and the end result was they didn't see the statements for years and didn't realize how much debt the other really had and as we know, assets AND debts are split during a divorce).
And how do you split bills 50/50 if you earn unequal amounts? If I make $100k a year and I marry someone who only makes $50k a year, how can I expect them to pay half of my bills? Or if I marry someone who makes $200k a year, how am I going to be able to live in their lifestyle?
It all boils down to our own personal preference I guess.
Fully agree.
Personally, I can't imagine sharing good news with my SO.
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