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I can't control who I am attracted to!!! I am not unrealistic, and for example, I don't say I will only date men who are 6 ft and up. But you can't force attraction/chemistry with another person, so you need that spark!! I can't make myself attracted to anyone. Of course, someone's personality can also make me more attracted to them.
I have had no problem finding a good man, and I'm not worried. Some women might be picky, or have unrealistic expectations, but that is not a problem with me. I was just commenting that you need some sort of attraction and YOU CAN'T FORCE THAT!!!! Who I am attracted to will be different than another woman...
My two cents are that desperation is not an appealing trait.
I'm agreeing with you, Jax. If your mind isn't open to discovering and feeling attraction towards those of us men who society deems to be "plain" then you can't force attraction and you should keep on going for those who you feel attraction towards...........and ask yourself if it isn't true that a good number of other women will feel attraction towards those men who you like............
And we plain, good men go alone as very few NY women feel attraction towards us although we have many girlFRIENDS
Might you begin to be able to discover the attraction in plain men if you spent a lot of years being rejected by or being used by those guys who you now felt attraction towards? I'm only asking, I'm not assuming you would or you wouldn't be able to broaden your tastes and I truly wish you to find whoever your heart desires. For myself, I'll be happy? No, I'd be ECSTATIC! man, I'd be OVERJOYED! for ANY plain, desperate woman no matter who that wanted to marry me..............I feel the attraction and I'm sure that there are plenty of other men who feel the same way as I do because (as I see it and this is meant purely as a GENERAL statement not directed towards you) women are far too picky about looks and not open to some kinds of looks.
I'm agreeing with you, Jax. If your mind isn't open to discovering and feeling attraction towards those of us men who society deems to be "plain" then you can't force attraction and you should keep on going for those who you feel attraction towards...........and ask yourself if it isn't true that a good number of other women will feel attraction towards those men who you like............
And we plain, good men go alone as very few NY women feel attraction towards us although we have many girlFRIENDS
Might you begin to be able to discover the attraction in plain men if you spent a lot of years being rejected by or being used by those guys who you now felt attraction towards?
You lost me. I never said I'm not attracted to plain men. I don't even know what "plain" means. Personality is obviously more important than looks, but looks play a part at least in the initial attraction. I have been attracted to "plain" men though, if I'm understanding your meaning of plain..I'm attracted to men who are intelligent, hardworking, loyal, caring, funny, fun to be with, etc...
Your post is confusing me. Sorry. What do you mean by plain?
You lost me. I never said I'm not attracted to plain men. I don't even know what "plain" means. Personality is obviously more important than looks, but looks play a part at least in the initial attraction. I have been attracted to "plain" men though, if I'm understanding your meaning of plain..I'm attracted to men who are intelligent, hardworking, loyal, caring, funny, fun to be with, etc...
Your post is confusing me. Sorry. What do you mean by plain?
I don't know if we are on the same page here and I don't want to take this thread offtopic to find out, you commented critically on my initial post so there obviously was SOMETHING I said which you disagreed with..........If you want to discuss this further then you can email me and we can get into a good discussion but otherwise, I'd like to let it rest and wish you a good night.
My comments were initially meant to be general and not specific towards any one person. I may be very wrong about what I think, opinions were asked for by the OP and so I gave what is only my opinion about the question asked.
You lost me. I never said I'm not attracted to plain men. I don't even know what "plain" means.
Hey jax, maybe I can help. A plain man would be someone like me - he wears a mophead hairstyle, washed out denim jeans year round, white T-shirt in the summer, but goes out on a limb with a colored one in the winter. He walks around with a yellow notebook and Bic pen as if he's on an important mission but is really just comparative shopping for the price of paper towels around his neighborhood.
He dresses palinly and speaks softly. When he approaches a woman he's interested in at a party, his best line is, "Hey, haven't I seen you before?" His wallet is usually empty except for car fare; at a ball game his only excitement is watching the mascots perform. In his entire lifetime, he's gone on only one or two dates, he's kissed a woman once on the cheek, eats peanut butter sandwiches daily, enjoys sitting on a park bench with his favorite parakeet, a Spiderman comic book in his lap, and occasionally peering over his eyeglasses as a lovely woman passes by.
His whole demeanor spells plain, lacking enthusiasm, excitement, a man of modest attire and even more modest means. Any glance from a young female passerby is always to the older, grandfatherly, grey-haired, dapper gentleman strolling along beside him on a crowded street.
Now that I've done a self-portrait, hope it helps give at least one perspective on the type of plain fellas you might encounter in the park, on the street, at a coffee shop, or a Marvel Comics Fan Club.
Hint to NY ladies: There's plenty of us lonely guys around, be much less selective on looks and you'll get a good man.
This may be just my faulty opinion here, but in my experience most women aren't that concerned with looks. Men are a lot more concerned about the way women look.
Many of my friends (who are absolutely gorgeous and intelligent) are stuck with losers unfortunately. They aren't attractive at all and have other issues. I think that what grabs women most is a specific formula. Ready?
+style (must have a sense of fashion, classy looks get points)
+wit
+confidence (women are really turned off by wussy men)
+ interesting personality (always have something new and interesting to say, or a good story to tell)
+ manners, tact (love a man who knows how to select or pour the wine and opens the door)
+ adventurous
+ ambitious (you don't have to make lots of money, but as long as a woman sees that you are work hard and have goals, she feels secure)
+ mystery (women subconsciously love the idea of taming the beast, perhaps because of an ancient social influence, so she has to know that she doesn't completely possess, that there is always something a little enigmatic about the man. If that disappears she will start losing interest quite fast)
+ minor indifference - women love the slight "I-don't-give-a-fruit" attitude. It also boasts of confidence. He can't appear too indifferent but slightly indifferent can be very magnetic.
+ persistence - it doesn't mean that you must be a pest, but many women have surrendered because the guy continued to pursue them.
======
There you have it. Men have it a lot easier. If you can incorporate and master those qualities you can get any woman of your preference. No need for plastic surgery or hefty inheritance. Just adopt those qualities and you'll see how women will start gravitating towards you.
+ persistence - it doesn't mean that you must be a pest, but many women have surrendered because the guy continued to pursue them.
As I sit in a cell reviewing your voluminous list of dating etiquette for would be male daters, I can only pray that the judge will also have privy to your abstract and recognize that I'm just a hapless suitor pursuing the woman of my dreams wherever she roams.
Perhaps he will see the light now and know that I am not a demented stalker out to harm that lovely widow whose husband died and left her with millions that she needs help in spending. I'm just a nice persistent fella who didn't take no for an answer when she yelled at me to go get a life.
Location: Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
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I admit, a lot of girls out there deep down want a guy who makes money and looks good. But, it gets to a point when they mature when they realize they can't be so picky. Some of us girls never cared much about those 2 qualities. They're out there, but you can find them.
As far as the attraction issue, I always talked to guys and gave them a chance no matter what they looked like. It didn't matter if I felt no immediate physical attraction. That's what a lot of women out there need to realize. Give guys a chance, because when you become emotionally/intellectually attracted to them, they become attractive in all aspects. And to be honest, whenever I spoke to a guy who was physically attractive, that was the only thing that attracted me. I didn't find them attractive in any other way. I hope I didn't lose you all there, lol. I could write a book on my opinions when it comes to attraction lol.
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