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If you've been e-mailing 2 or 3 (or 10) people, then you go out on a couple dates and end up meeting someone to be exclusive with, what do you do about the rest of your e-mail contacts that you haven't met yet? Do you just drop off the face of the earth and stop e-mailing or would you send each of them a quick e-mail saying it's been really nice getting to know you but I've met someone and want to see what develops rather than meet anyone else at this time?
Just curious. I'll check back after work to see what y'all think.
Oh, and by the way, I haven't met anyone I'm the one that's being left hanging.
Yep...I just did this a few weeks ago. One guy I had met and dated a few times, very casually, the other only talked to. The one guy I had dated, I let him know I had met someone, and wanted to see where that went. The other one I had only talked to, and honestly I knew that he was not right for me just from our phone conversations...they were always a bit strained for me....seemed I was always trying to "make" conversation....it was just, uncomfortable. ANd being able to talk to someone easily, that is always a bit thing for me. So I just emailed him and told him that I didn't think we were a good fit, based on the conversations we had had, and I wished him well.
But I've been left hanging too...many times. I do think most people do this...it's simply easier. And yeah....that's one of the more difficult things about online dating...but, really, it's no different than the guy or girl that stops calling, or won't answer your calls anymore. There will always be those that take the easy exit.
Do the words, "he's just no that into you" ring any bells? That book saved my life when I was dating. Answered all the questions I had about, why did he do this? Why isn't he saying that? Where did he go?
If a guy is interested, he will pursue. If he stops communicating, forget him. That's the beauty of online dating - you have access to literally millions of available men! As long as you aren't expecting the unexpectable (like only genius IQ guys, for instance) just keep swimming! There's plenty more fish in the sea. From the guy's POV, by the way - they tend to focus less on the "Why?" than women do - they just brush themselves off and look for the next one. Initially, I would actually send emails like "are you ok?" "why did you lose interest - was it something I said?" - Silly me. I chalk it up to the fact that I was married for most of my adult life, and therefore unfamiliar with the process of "dating". I have learned much - and the best advice I got as a woman was reading "He's Just Not That Into You". I highly recommend it!
When single, I used to do a lot of online dating. For me and always, honesty is the best policy. If I met someone and was no longer interested, I'd just let them know. Sometimes, they would contact me after an absence and would ask and at that time I would just say whatever was going on.
You will find that people in general (these days) just aren't good at follow up. I find that at some point, everyone does it. They just don't do the right thing with calling you back, letting you know whats going on, etc..
You can't take it personally because if you do it will mess with your self esteem.
True, but if the fish is not in your backyard pond things are too complicated.
Not if she or the subject of her potential affection can afford to travel! I know a woman who flew to GB to meet a few guys she had met online - she ended up bringing one of them home and they are now married and expecting their second child.
Not if she or the subject of her potential affection can afford to travel! I know a woman who flew to GB to meet a few guys she had met online - she ended up bringing one of them home and they are now married and expecting their second child.
Well, I'm speaking from first-hand multiple experiences... I'm not saying it can't be successful, of course.
not even regarding e-mails, but phone conversations...i met this really sweet and innocent girl when i was 17. i got her number and asked her to go out on a date with me. she seemed pretty vulnerable and all i wanted was sex from her so i called her back to say i couldn't go out with her. she started to cry, i felt so bad but i figured it was better off to not use her than to go out with her, give her really good sex, have her feelings grow, and then break it off.
sometimes, you just have to break it off before the 1st date not just for yourself but for the other person involved.
So guys do have a heart.......
Actually I'm going through something right now where the guy I'm talking to is a little more into me than Im into him. Were supposed to go out soon and thats when i'' tell him that I think that this wont work in the long run. Hell find someone... its just not me.
If you've been e-mailing 2 or 3 (or 10) people, then you go out on a couple dates and end up meeting someone to be exclusive with, what do you do about the rest of your e-mail contacts that you haven't met yet? Do you just drop off the face of the earth and stop e-mailing or would you send each of them a quick e-mail saying it's been really nice getting to know you but I've met someone and want to see what develops rather than meet anyone else at this time?
Just curious. I'll check back after work to see what y'all think.
Oh, and by the way, I haven't met anyone I'm the one that's being left hanging.
I don't understand. You haven't met anyone, so why write to them?
Are you a male or female? I'm a female and people leave me hanging all the time online. So what? If a guy doesn't want to talk to me, I keep putting myself out there until I find one that does.
If you're a guy, you write, "I sent you my photo a while ago, and I'm still interested in meeting you. However, if you've decided I'm not your type for whatever reason, then I wish you all the best. You seem like a lovely lady."
Don't be a sour grape!
Rejection is protection. They weren't right for you anyway, so move on!
Wait - this isn't the strip poker in the garage thread??? I'm confused!!!
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I'm the one that's being left hanging.
