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My wife actually enjoys cooking almost as much as I admire eating her cooking. She makes her gumbo from scratch and it comes out thick and dark with lots of flavor. Yum yum. Of course, if she cooks then I do the dishes.
In a way, back then this was the partnership. Remember, back in the 50s the majority of the jobs was for the men. The man was expected to work at a job and fix things around the house. The wife was to stay home and maintain the home, do the cooking, pay the bills, and raise the kids. Both had a job to do and neither job was easy. Women, if your husband stayed home while you worked full time how would you react to his not doing ANYTHING around the house while you worked all day long?
The problem is not the splitting of the work, its this ass kissing fakeness that the woman had to create in order to make her man happy--while the same was not done for the woman to ease HER stressful life and feelings. Of course its fair that the person who stays home does most of the housework and cooking. Its the part about being subservient to the man that is upsetting for many women. Why should WE have to give in to the man every time just because he's a man, as the poster above suggests. Why should the man always have the last word or make the final decision? That is a flaw in a man's thinking that will cause the fights, not the woman questioning the man.
My wife actually enjoys cooking almost as much as I admire eating her cooking. She makes her gumbo from scratch and it comes out thick and dark with lots of flavor. Yum yum. Of course, if she cooks then I do the dishes.
This is silly. Many women and many men enjoy cooking. Cooking does not make a woman or a man subservient. Its the EXPECTATION that a woman MUST do the cooking because she's a woman that is the issue here.
If you think the way your husband expects you to do things is bad, look at this! Boy, has life changed a lot since the 1950s. This is a set of rules for "good housewives" from Good Housekeeping magazine from May 13, 1955
1955 Rules For A Good Housewife
1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have dinner ready on time for your husband's return home from work.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives.Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair.
3. Be a little gay (happy) and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is too provide it.
4. Clear away the clutter in your home.
5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
6. Prepare the children, take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, if necessary, change their clothes.
7. Greet your husband with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
8. Listen to him. He may have a dozen things to say. Let him talk first---what he has to say is more important than what you have to say.
9. Make the evening his. Never complain if he is late or goes out to eat, even if he's been gone all night.
10. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing, and feminine voice.
11. Don't ask him questions about his actions. Remember, he is the master of the house, and you have no right to question him.
12. And finally, a good wife always knows her place.
1955 Rules For A Good Housewife (http://www.laszlo.com/Hobbies/Internet/Stuff/Rules_For_A_Good_Housewife/ - broken link)
Seven years ago when I first got married, my wife and I were in El Paso visiting with my grandparents, stayed with them actually. I recall one evening at the kitchen table, having after dinner drinks, my grandmother was recalling stories of how life was back in El Paso in the 40s-50s, and from a Mexican heritage point of view, she began to tell my new wife how important it was to take care of moi!
She recalled how she followed her mother's ways and always made sure that the men of the house ate first, and were always served first. This meant my grandfather, and her her sons (my uncles). Imagine my horror as I sat at the table and my new wife was hearing this 'way of life' from my grandmother. I was so embarrassed, and red faced, my wife thought it the funniest thing on earth as I sat there in obvious mental anguish.
My grandmother is no dummy, she is hip and up to date on the political scene, but she meant is sincerely, a devotion if you will, to her good husband, and my grandfather was a great man, stern and authoritative, but the most humble man you would ever meet. He's gone now.
Anyway, this thread reminded me of that moment, we still recall that night every now and again, I tease my wife about what my grandmother said. But as most have noted, it was a different time back then, it was normal. You cannot judge people now on those standards. Also, right or wrong, that is still practiced in many Latin countries.
I've lived in the Middle East, and don't get me started on what life is like there for women. Wow. But again, that is normal there, at least in the Muslim countries I was in, Dubai, Qatar and Oman, though Dubai and Oman were more Westernized, Qatar is still very conservative and has many restrictions, and rules at to what a woman can, and cannot do.
Yeah, I get the subservient attitude problem. The way the article read you'd expect to see a black&white movie reel of a woman with perfect hair and makeup and a little apron doing housework without getting dirty, a husband with a fedora hat and smoking a pipe to come home from work and the entire family rushes to greet him like a puppy dog wagging it's tail. Except for the movies, television, and certain distructive relationships none of that actually happened.
I'm not so much of a domestic goddess myself. Aside from that big white thing in the Scary Room, there is a huge metallic broomstick thing in a little cupboard. It makes a huge noise when it gets switched on. But I only let my partner do it, because he's the man of the house, and I'm just a girl, and girls get scared easily. Also, it's a machine, and I know that men only are able to operate machinery.
There's a thing in the Scary Room that gets hot, but it seems to be where coffee is made. Again, one for the man of the house only. It's another machine after all.
I mostly look at magazines with lots of pictures, and paint my nails. Because I'm the girl y'see.
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This meant my grandfather, and her her sons (my uncles). Imagine my horror as I sat at the table and my new wife was hearing this 'way of life' from my grandmother. I was so embarrassed, and red faced, my wife thought it the funniest thing on earth as I sat there in obvious mental anguish.
