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Old 12-12-2008, 09:51 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,955,404 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
I thought it was a pretty good list and something women should have a look at. I'm always amused by these gals running around "oh I love my little johnny" and the dude looks like he got dragged out of the gutter.
or the ones with the prison tether on their ankle and can't drive cause they lost their driver's license from too many DUI's.

Can't you see the love? I've even watched the thugs sit in the car while she pumps the gas.
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Old 12-12-2008, 09:57 AM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 968,751 times
Reputation: 339
Some of these are just logical... and some you have to get to know someone & follow your gut instinct.

When I was 20 I overlooked a lot of telltale signs but now that I am 44 - I have learned from experience & wised up!
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Old 12-12-2008, 10:02 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,955,404 times
Reputation: 15256
Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK View Post
Wow, you have a very black and white view on this, huh? Either the woman pays for everything or the man pays for everything? Whatever happened to splitting things evenly and having a mutual contribution?

I think she is just trying to say that men can be moochers too! If you wind up paying for everything ALL the time, whether you're a man or a woman, you've likely got a moocher on your hands.

True feminism is about equality, something that is seemingly lost on you. Equality does not mean the woman pays for everything, nor does it mean the man paying for everything. It means both genders should be contributing.

This is the article I tend to show people, called "Warning Signs You're Dating A Loser", it addresses issues on BOTH genders: Warning Signs That You\'re Dating a Loser (http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=157 - broken link)
Pull out what you have in the pants pocket... "I have a buck eighty five. What do you have?"

or the....

"oh, you got to be kidding me? I left my wallet in the car!!! I'll go get it."

The woman: "That's alright. I'll get it."
The man: "You sure?"
The woman: "Sure. It's no problem."
The man: "I'll get you next time."

She shoulda said, "I'll wait. Go get it."
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Old 12-12-2008, 10:03 AM
 
78,420 posts, read 60,613,724 times
Reputation: 49725
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbugme View Post
I hope its okay that I post this.......Here is an article with some signs that you're dating the wrong guy:

20 Signs You're Dating Mr. Wrong


What are some other signs? Feel free to share!
The list is decent until the end which gets wishy-washy. Here are mine for a gal....

1) EXPECTS to be treated like a princess. Looking for a slave, not a partner.
2) Various dependencies or addictions....less likely to be obvious drug and alcohol like guys....more often food, shopping etc. After kid #1 she lets herself go completely and was just holding it together long enough to land a guy.
3) No sense of balance in family\relationship. If she has a kid, does she take care of them but also manage to make time for herself and you? Is she just eyeing you as someone to make her and her kids life easier?
4) Bad family relationships...unless warranted.
5) Kids with several different fathers.
6) What are her friends like? How does she talk about them?
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Old 12-12-2008, 11:11 AM
 
37,619 posts, read 46,006,789 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Public_Newsense View Post
Sign #___: He's overly presumptuous.

No kidding. What truck did he fall out of anyway? Yeesh.
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Old 12-12-2008, 07:42 PM
 
24 posts, read 75,731 times
Reputation: 33
I love plain and boring as long as he's nice to me and is affectionate.
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Old 12-13-2008, 12:16 AM
 
4,837 posts, read 8,856,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy View Post
The list is decent until the end which gets wishy-washy. Here are mine for a gal....

1) EXPECTS to be treated like a princess. Looking for a slave, not a partner.
2) Various dependencies or addictions....less likely to be obvious drug and alcohol like guys....more often food, shopping etc. After kid #1 she lets herself go completely and was just holding it together long enough to land a guy.
3) No sense of balance in family\relationship. If she has a kid, does she take care of them but also manage to make time for herself and you? Is she just eyeing you as someone to make her and her kids life easier?
4) Bad family relationships...unless warranted.
5) Kids with several different fathers.
6) What are her friends like? How does she talk about them?
I have just two but they incorporate a lot of what you say.

1) I want to meet a woman who has it together. I worked long and hard to get where I am and desire to meet women who also has these characteristics. To succeed now days takes discipline and foresight.

2) Relationships and marriage should not be something they desire exclusively for what it does for them. It should benefit both parties. I find that many want a relationship and marriage for status, money or to have somebody who will look after them, cater to their neuroses or constantly reaffirm and reassure them that they are beautiful or whatever else they are worried about. These relationships are built on sand from the start.

What is unfortunate today is that most men who demonstrate solid characteristics take years to get the education and experience so that they are able to contemplate marriage. By that time, the pickings are really thin. The good prospects that I encountered in my twenties were snapped up by those men with economic advantage or less commitment to making something of themselves. They are not the divorcees that one encounters once you reach your 30s.
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Old 12-13-2008, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Right behind you.
71 posts, read 205,674 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riv View Post
Rule number 9?

If everything else is in order?

Proves that the article was obviously written by an immature, childlike, superficial young girl.

Most readers here are way past her in insight.
Seriously???? Am I the only one that thinks you need to be attracted to each other to get married? I'm afraid it would just make my husband more likely to be attracted to a coworker, one of my friends etc if he didn't find me attractive?

Though I guess it does work for arranged marriages and mail order brides............
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Old 12-14-2008, 05:08 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,214 posts, read 17,881,804 times
Reputation: 13921
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbugme View Post
Seriously???? Am I the only one that thinks you need to be attracted to each other to get married? I'm afraid it would just make my husband more likely to be attracted to a coworker, one of my friends etc if he didn't find me attractive?

Though I guess it does work for arranged marriages and mail order brides............
No, I agree with you. If there's no physical attraction, it won't last. I think people are confusing being attracted to a partner with a partner being attractive in general. A person doesn't have to be good looking in terms of what society deems for you to be attracted to them. When you get to know someone and start falling for them, you become attracted to them whether they are considered "good looking" or not! There is nothing superficial or immature about that at all - in fact, it's the exact opposite of superficial and immature. It shows that you can be attracted to people who are not neccessarily "attractive".
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Old 12-14-2008, 11:47 AM
 
4,837 posts, read 8,856,820 times
Reputation: 3026
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontbugme View Post
Seriously???? Am I the only one that thinks you need to be attracted to each other to get married? I'm afraid it would just make my husband more likely to be attracted to a coworker, one of my friends etc if he didn't find me attractive?
Read the point.

"Warning Sign #9: You're not physically attracted to him.

I know this one is obvious! But I really felt I needed to include it, as there are many women who do marry someone they aren't physically attracted to and in love with. If you aren't "goo-goo-ga-ga" attracted to him, then please don't marry him. There are other fish in the sea."

I think this is very clear. This probably rules out 80% of men before most (2/3) of women get within 10 feet. For years, feminists have been griping about how men are only interested in a woman's looks. I've always thought that this is a bit of a myth because they then limit their hunt to that 20%.

Before the invention of the pill, there was little that women could do to attract such men but now, most can at least have a superficial belief that it is possible to land one. What they don't understand is that they are only being used by these men. Such men as I've known will apologize to their "buddies" about these liaisons while expending most of their effort pursuing the more elusive quarry. However, they do like the sex since it gives them status.

Meanwhile, the rest of the men now know that there goes another woman who will never really be satisfied with them and when they are subsequently hurt repeatedly by this, will then come to believe that all men are scum.

A few years ago, I had an interesting experience that highlights why marriage and relationships are in such a mess. I took my Mother east to visit family and a number of her friends from her youth - mainly university - about 8 couples. All were still married and from what I could see successfully. (There was one from her circle who had divorced an alcoholic husband and was deceased) I knew their kids from when I was much younger and so it was a good experience of catching up for me too. What floored me is that every one of their daughters (late 30's to late 40's) except one was divorced! One of their fathers put it succinctly and dryly when the ex was briefly discussed. "He looked good."

I doubt that many of the men from my mother's circle would have passed the 10 foot "stud test". However, what they did have was potential. One became a senior officer in a major corporation and another recently had a full page obituary in the paper because he was a leading expert in his academic field. But it wasn`t just career potential I am talking about. Such men are able to adapt and change and this will help them improve as a husband as the marriage evolves.
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