Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-15-2008, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Ohio
1,140 posts, read 2,197,098 times
Reputation: 398

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lulu101 View Post
Yes, it was a traditional marriage. I don't know whether she objected to his game playing or not--maybe she was ok with it.
Just saying she deserves time off too but he shouldn't have to come home from work to work some more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-15-2008, 01:25 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,181 posts, read 3,047,434 times
Reputation: 464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kereczr View Post
Just saying she deserves time off too but he shouldn't have to come home from work to work some more.
I've never been a stay-at-home mom, but let me get this straight...

She cleans the house, picks up after him and the kids, cooks dinner, prepares his lunches, makes his coffee and takes care of a baby (that probably doesn't sleep through the night) while he sits in some office somewhere.... AND HE NEEDS THE BREAK?????

I always worked and my ex rarely did, but he did everything else around the house. When I got home, it would have been cruel of me to relax and expect him to keep going.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 01:30 PM
 
5,258 posts, read 9,115,714 times
Reputation: 3316
I once dated a guy where something similar happened. Except that I was the one addicted to video games. There were no kids involved, but he eventually grew tired of it and broke things off with me. I outgrew my 'addiction' and, while I still love playing video games, I'm able to control it now. But yea...I can see why this would be a detriment to a relationship.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Ohio
1,140 posts, read 2,197,098 times
Reputation: 398
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyV View Post
I've never been a stay-at-home mom, but let me get this straight...

She cleans the house, picks up after him and the kids, cooks dinner, prepares his lunches, makes his coffee and takes care of a baby (that probably doesn't sleep through the night) while he sits in some office somewhere.... AND HE NEEDS THE BREAK?????

I always worked and my ex rarely did, but he did everything else around the house. When I got home, it would have been cruel of me to relax and expect him to keep going.
First of all you're making assumptions, who said that he works in an office sitting all day? I didn't see that anywhere? Second of all, if the wife stopped working what would happen, a dirty house right? If the guy stopped, they would be no house. I've kept house before, it is nowhere near as hard as people make it seem, if you keep things clean the most you need to do in a day is about 30-60 minutes of cleaning. Cooking isn't difficult, I enjoy it. The only hassle would be the child, but I think he should have to take care of the child if for no other reason than father son bonding, other than that I am not seeing where all the hard work comes from.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 02:10 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,181 posts, read 3,047,434 times
Reputation: 464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kereczr View Post
First of all you're making assumptions, who said that he works in an office sitting all day? I didn't see that anywhere? Second of all, if the wife stopped working what would happen, a dirty house right? If the guy stopped, they would be no house. I've kept house before, it is nowhere near as hard as people make it seem, if you keep things clean the most you need to do in a day is about 30-60 minutes of cleaning. Cooking isn't difficult, I enjoy it. The only hassle would be the child, but I think he should have to take care of the child if for no other reason than father son bonding, other than that I am not seeing where all the hard work comes from.
It depends on the size of the house and the family and if the husband and kids pick up after themselves and wipe things down after they use them, etc..., but most do not. In a 2.5 bathroom house, you have to wipe down the bathrooms each day (about an hour), vacuum 2 floors daily (another hour) sweep/mop kitchen & hw floors (half an hour), clean the table, floors, sink, appliances, etc... after each meal (from .5 to 1 hour depending on how elaborate the meal was), do the laundry daily while re-organizing the drawers and closets (1 hour)... oh and don't forget, you're getting reduced sleep because of the baby and this is all hard labor... nothing you can do sitting down. In the meantime, you have to keep the baby at your side and adhere to a feeding schedule, change diapers every 2 hours, sterilize bottles, etc...

In addition to the house work, you have to run 100% of the errands... grocery, dry-cleaning, doctors, DMV, etc...

Piece of cake!

Last edited by MommyV; 12-15-2008 at 02:12 PM.. Reason: more stuff
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 02:12 PM
 
142 posts, read 522,293 times
Reputation: 64
Not me, I'd rather work on the yard pulling weeds then play a video game.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 02:36 PM
 
2,630 posts, read 4,929,072 times
Reputation: 595
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
No. Maturity is about putting down the game console to pay attention to supposedly the most important person in his life. Maturity is saying to oneself, "Gosh, I'm being awfully self-centered here by sitting here playing a video game all night while my wife is doing all the cotton-picking work."
No one here is condoning neglecting your responsibilities in order to play games. If a person wont stop playing games when they have other more important things to do then they are pretty immature but you seem to ignore those of us who aren't that way, those of us who understand that there is a save function in every video game designed so that we do not lose our progress whenever one turns the console off. How are we being immature?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,176 posts, read 14,659,473 times
Reputation: 1313
It's an over grown kid - and anyone who says different must be a man, because I think every woman has unfortunately had one of these guys in her life...some of us are just smart enough to get rid of them before procreating with them

I work 50+ hours, in a high level position...and I DO NOT come home and vacate to another room from my family.

When you have a kid it's YOUR RESPONISIBILITY to take care of them - Your "break" is now your kids...you don't just get a break from them because you bring home the bacon.

And and that mom who is breaking her back doing the HARDEST job in the world - raising YOUR kids?? Yeah, her...when is HER BREAK??? Does she get to take an hour off at 5 pm too??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 02:53 PM
 
Location: down south
513 posts, read 1,577,298 times
Reputation: 653
I'm thinking of buying a PS3 next year. Women might not be able to understand, but game-playing and web-surfing are two of the most relaxing activities one can have.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-15-2008, 02:59 PM
 
Location: West Texas
2,449 posts, read 5,930,837 times
Reputation: 3125
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72 View Post
It's an over grown kid - and anyone who says different must be a man, because I think every woman has unfortunately had one of these guys in her life...some of us are just smart enough to get rid of them before procreating with them

I work 50+ hours, in a high level position...and I DO NOT come home and vacate to another room from my family.

When you have a kid it's YOUR RESPONISIBILITY to take care of them - Your "break" is now your kids...you don't just get a break from them because you bring home the bacon.

And and that mom who is breaking her back doing the HARDEST job in the world - raising YOUR kids?? Yeah, her...when is HER BREAK??? Does she get to take an hour off at 5 pm too??
*breaks out the violin*

I was a working dad with two kids, and loved every minute of it. I didn't like having to drop them off at day care every day, but I knew how to manage the household, cleaned it, cooked (which I still enjoy doing) although the kids are now 17 and 15 and living in with me while their mother moved to Calif. I know how to do laundry (not rocket science so don't make it sound so). I also go shoppings on weekends believe it or not. And yes, we do eat more than ice cream and chips.

Contrary to what Oprah (and those "slaving" at home who always have time to watch her show though) have to say, learning to take care of a home and children is equivalent for men as learning to work in the outside home environment is/was for women. Some are good at it, some aren't. But we need to stop making it sound like brain surgery. It's just good time management and cleaning skills.

But, you are correct that this guy needs to step up to the plate and be a more than a dad. He also needs to be a husband. That means partner. If he treated his co-workers and bosses the way he treats his wife (with regards to taking care of his responsibility) then I'm sure he'd be fired. He has to chip in and do is part or he shouldn't have gotten married or fathered a child. There's nothing wrong with decompressing (even if it means playing for a little bit), but there's a time and place for it. All night (or late into it) is not only immature but irresponsible. They should allocate a specific amount of time (say 30 mins or 1 hour) right after he gets home. Then, it's "man up" time and he needs to do his fair share.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:46 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top