Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
women's liberation said you can have it all. they lied. we are entering a whole new period of our history. everybody is guna get their bubble popped. if men do not smarten up real fast, they are going to become slaves. see the lawyer b4 the marriage not after.
settling to me means: being with a guy who doesn't treat me well, has no job or a low-paying job, bad credit, a smoker, heavy drinker, lazy, won't cook or clean.
these are the factors that I would NOT "settle" for just for the sake of being married. I am much happier being single than in a relationship like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
Many months ago, there was an article in the Atlantic magazine about this topic:
written by a 40ish woman recommending that women "settle" before it was too late. Her thesis was that there are important things that one shouldn't compromise on and the rest should be considered as nice but likely not all attainable. Her article sprung from her own experience of regret for not settling and the very limited prospects for women over 40.
This article set off a firestorm of comments on many sights that echoed around for several months. I enjoyed the comments the most because they were a window on why the institution of marriage is in so much trouble.
Most women under 40 were adamant that settling would mean the difference between snagging prince charming and settling for a druken wife beater. What was interesting were the references to long lists of atttributes that a potential spouse must have. Few actually posted these lists - perhaps it would be too embarassing or a potential suiter could use it to perpetrate a fraud! At the same time, attributes like being a decent man, ready to learn and improve with good prospects were seldom mentioned. Those refusing to settle want the full enchilada, not potential!
Any comments on this? What would you settle on. Why would you refuse to settle. Do you think this is a problem for some women?
women's liberation said you can have it all. they lied. we are entering a whole new period of our history. everybody is guna get their bubble popped. if men do not smarten up real fast, they are going to become slaves. see the lawyer b4 the marriage not after.
Not only is the economy bad, but the social shakeout continues at an accelerating rate. The increasinly poorer rapport between the sexes, the divorce rate, the financial aspects that are "no value added" and deplete wealth rather than create it, and the BS of blended families will continue the spiral downward for some time to come.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 12-15-2008 at 09:06 AM..
I agree with the part about seeing the lawyer b4 marriage. It makes sense for men and women to have some legal advice beforehand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948
women's liberation said you can have it all. they lied. we are entering a whole new period of our history. everybody is guna get their bubble popped. if men do not smarten up real fast, they are going to become slaves. see the lawyer b4 the marriage not after.
There are absolutely things you just CANNOT settle on. These are issues like kids, drugs\alch., attraction....the big issues.
Women\Men that violate these things are "settling" and won't be happy.
Then there is the "picky" list...things like discarding someone because you find them attractive but they have a bigger butt than you like or an odd laugh, make a little less money than you would like etc. etc. etc.
There is a grey area between "picky" and "deal breaker". Some people just hide behind an impossible list and defend their choice as "not settling". Maybe they just don't want to get married and have kids but parental\societal pressures make them use "settling" as a scape-goat.
<shrug> Personal responsibility, make your decisions and live with them.
I think it all boils down to expectations. I've just never wanted to be married, and so I haven't expected much from the men in my life. Their personal habits and hobbies are things I take part in if I choose, but if I don't want to... I don't really need them, so I don't particularly care.
It's a lot easier when you stop expecting things, and you just find someone you like and work with them on a relationship
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
