Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The OP makes me absolutely disgusted- as does anyone who does NOTHING.
I am a 20 year old female and I've stepped in during abuse in TWO FOREIGN COUNTRIES to complete strangers. How can anyone even think twice about it? I really don't understand- although in both of those countries, I watched big, burley men simply WATCH me take action rather than step in to help or even to pick up a phone and call the cops. Absolutely disgusting wastes of space.
The first situation was in Reyjkavik at 3AM. I was waiting for a taxi and I noticed these two couples on the grass next to me. They appeared really drunk but Reykjavik is the Ibiza of the North so I ignored it. Then I heard grunting- one of the guys was kicking and punching his girlfriend. As I was running over, I heard her laughing saying "I can't feel it", even as blood was pouring out her nose and she fell to the ground. While on the ground, the guy began to kick her in the back over and over and over. I told him to stop and yelled at other people for help. Instead, this crowd of men- many sober- stood around and laughed. They LAUGHED. The boyfriend pushed me to the ground and kept kicking his girlfriend, rendering her unconcious. At that point, another GIRL came running over with the police and they got the girl to the hospital and the boy to jail.
The 2nd occasion happened on the street in Mexico. On the opposite side of the street, I noticed this guy screaming at a girl. Not touching, just screaming. There was a lot of traffic so I couldn't understand what they were saying (obviously in Spanish), but she was obviously trying to get away. Then, out of nowhere, he grabbed her and held her out over the street in a way that she could not right herself. At that point, she's screaming bloody murder. A few tourists stopped and stared- but did nothing. I couldn't cross the street but at that point, I was screaming in English and Spanish for help and for someone to get the police who were only a block away. As I tried to get to the crosswalk, there was a crowd gathering around the couple but no one doing anything. Then, out of nowhere, the man threw the woman into the street. Thank goodness the car coming down the street was able to stop in time- but the tire was only inches from her head. And still, no one did anything. Not even helped her up or made the guy go away. She got up and the man continued to follow her, screaming. No one did anything and I still was stuck across the street. They disappeared around a corner before I could catch up to them and the police were still nowhere in sight.
If I, a little foreign girl who doesn't speak the native language, can stand up for women in obvious danger, then NO ONE has an excuse. No one. And if a man is screaming at a woman in a store, what do you think he's going to do as soon as they walk out of the mall and get home? Don't kid yourself.
I am absolutely bewildered at the people advocating charging into a situation and playing referee and putting your life in jeopardy among with possibly other people. In fact I am appalled people suggest such. It goes against every tenet of personal and public security.
Breaking up a fight amongst friends or family I could understand, since you would probably know the whole situation more.
Coming upon a fight or argument of which you know nothing of what is being fought about, who is being fought about, what other people may be involved, what weapons may be involved, whether someone is on drugs or alcohol, etc. and placing yourself in between two people is absolutely foolish. You are putting yourself and others in jeopardy and in fact you may even escalate the situation. Not only are you in jeopardy of physical harm or death but you could put yourself in a nasty legal situation, especially in a foreign country. Also confrontations have been used as set ups to rob and mug people as well.
I know the streets and playing vigilante is not like in the movies and on tv. Street combat and fights is nasty business. Leave it to the police to do their job. Call 911, take pictures from a distance, but do not play hero.
I've seen a lot of domestic disputes and I would reckon probably most of them had drugs or alcohol involved. Had I interjected it that, I can guarantee it would have escalated the situation and made it even worse, not to mention either me being harmed or killed or vice versa.
If anyone thinks I'm full of it and wants to be hero, please go to your local police station and speak with a senior officer. Present him with the scenario of you coming around a corner and you suddenly witness and man and woman arguing and putting their hands on one another. Ask what to do, call 911 or charge in and try to break it up? See what he says.
I am absolutely bewildered at the people advocating charging into a situation and playing referee and putting your life in jeopardy among with possibly other people. In fact I am appalled people suggest such. It goes against every tenet of personal and public security.
Breaking up a fight amongst friends or family I could understand, since you would probably know the whole situation more.
Coming upon a fight or argument of which you know nothing of what is being fought about, who is being fought about, what other people may be involved, what weapons may be involved, whether someone is on drugs or alcohol, etc. and placing yourself in between two people is absolutely foolish. You are putting yourself and others in jeopardy and in fact you may even escalate the situation. Not only are you in jeopardy of physical harm or death but you could put yourself in a nasty legal situation, especially in a foreign country. Also confrontations have been used as set ups to rob and mug people as well.
I know the streets and playing vigilante is not like in the movies and on tv. Street combat and fights is nasty business. Leave it to the police to do their job. Call 911, take pictures from a distance, but do not play hero.
I've seen a lot of domestic disputes and I would reckon probably most of them had drugs or alcohol involved. Had I interjected it that, I can guarantee it would have escalated the situation and made it even worse, not to mention either me being harmed or killed or vice versa.
If anyone thinks I'm full of it and wants to be hero, please go to your local police station and speak with a senior officer. Present him with the scenario of you coming around a corner and you suddenly witness and man and woman arguing and putting their hands on one another. Ask what to do, call 911 or charge in and try to break it up? See what he says.
I think you did the right thing by not getting involved. The man and the woman probably have some deep seeded insecurity or self-esteem issues. Getting involved, would have not helped in the long-run. Some people will never learn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by What!
Yesterday I was at the mall witha group of friends (three girls and three guys, including me) and we saw a guy yelling at his woman outside Gap. He was going crazy, like he specifically wanted to humiliate her in front of everybody. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her toward him and kept on with the tirade. She was a real cute Latina with curves in all the right places so I don't think she had any shortage of men wanting her. But the thing about it is that she seemed to like it: the puppy dog eyes, the pouty frown, and the shriveling stance somehow made her appear as a submissive who secretly likes this kind of behavior.
After the scene was over we got into a discussion, which quickly degenerated into a gender war argument. Basically, the women said he had no right to treat her like that and one of us should have stepped in. Me and the rest of the dudes didn't agree with that chick logic. I took the forefront and pointed out the following:
1. She basically seemed to enjoy that kind of treatment, so why interfere?
2. Women hold prominent roles in society nowadays. We recently nearly had a female president and then, after she dropped out, we recently had a female vice-president. There are many women in the military and in the police force. One of the security guards at the mall is a female. I also pointed out to the loudest chick how she was in kickboxing class and her instructor was a 5'2" skinny brunette who made a living teaching men over 6 feet how to defend themselves. Thus, with all the advances women have made there is no reason why women can't take care of themselves.
3. Two events in my life changed my outlook on the whole situation:
--a friend of mine was leaving a house party and noticed a guy pushing around his girl. my friend told the guy to bug off and led the girl away from him, then my friend left. he drove miles away to his apartment and when he got out of the car to go inside the guy drove up to him, pulled out his gun, and threateningly said, "if you ever get in my business again you'll regret it", and then he drove off.
--my brother was at a house party when he noticed a guy pushing around a girl. my brother pushed the dude away and tried to get the girl away from him but a second later --BAM!-- the dude cracked a chair over his back and had to be rushed to the hospital and get stitches.
Chivalry is dead. Let it stay that way. In today's modern society there is no reason why a woman can't take care of herself, unless she secretly wants to be abused. Does anyone agree with me?
this post makes me sad. i hope not every guy out there is so ignorant, selfish and cowardly. he basically said "why should i defend anyone, i might get hurt". well, yeah. that's the whole point of defending someone and doing something good. i hope that if i was being abused, a decent man interfered and not stood around thinking i'm enjoying it!
i'm glad that my boyfriend is not like that. he once stepped between a guy yelling at a girl and threatening to hit her on the street. he managed to stand his ground and not be afraid.
it maybe just me, but i would never have any respect for a man with OP's attitude.
Do any of you realize that a full grown man can kill another human with ONE punch made correctly?
That is what 911 is for..To save people from that. I mean seriously...I don't know if anyone remembers that "Real world" a couple years back where the construction worker caught one good one in a street fight and it crushed the side of his skull, made him have perm vision problems and distorted his face. The doctor said he was LUCKY that he didn't die.
There is a reason cops have training, guns, sticks and mace. PEOPLE ARE NUTS AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW NUTS THEY CAN GET!
You don't need to get directly involved because :
- its a danger to yourself
- will not solve the larger problem it only saves the moment (for which abused pay for later)
When the cops get involved at least sometimes they force them into seeking help.
OK..this may sound ignorant. But, why do women stay with guys that mentally and physically abuse the heck out of them? Am I missing something here?? I have very little sympathy for the hoards of women that cant get enough of this sort of thing. And trust me, I've known plenty!!!
I can only speak for myself. I started dating a guy that in the beginning was wonderful. He was my first serious boyfriend, so I didnt have a lot of experience. Slowly he started to become abusive. He manipulated me to make me believe that it was my fault what was happening. Before I knew it my self-esteem was gone and I had become a shell of a woman.
It is very hard to explain unless you are in the situation. I grew up in a abusive family, so I thought this was normal. It takes more strength than you can imagine to get out of a relationship like this. It has nothing to do with not getting enough of this sort of thing. Women DO NOT like being in an abusive relationship.
When your abuser beats you down, and makes you feel like you are nothing, you believe this. Most women that are abused don't have friends or family that support them. So to get out there is no place to go. So you feel trapped.
So instead of not having sympathy, offer a hand to someone you know.
It's scary, but the abusers don't know that they're doing this. It's a mental abnormality. In fact, many think they do this because they love the girl so much. He used to say to me, "It's because I love you so much that I feel so passionate and get angry".
really? That is so wrong, you are just making excuses for BAD behavior. And these abusers would never pick on someone who could defend themselves. They'd have no problem beating up on a 60 yr old or 80 yr old or a pregnent women. Its not because they love you so much, its because they like to see the suffering they are inflicting. Its what gives them joy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
