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Great points, Rath. You need some reps here. Yes, CE's posts have a serious anti-male bias. They're so slanted as to detract from credibility. If there's a guy involved, he's automatically the culprit. No sense of fairness whatsoever.
Like you, I don't hate Ms. Confused. I'm really mad at her, but no hate here. I just want her to come to her senses and stop being, well, so confused.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos
What she needs now is not Feminazism, CE. Wake up and read ALL the posts before you're so quick to jump on the man-bashing wagon. No wonder guys are getting such bad impression of women nowadays.
"Blowing up" is a relative term. For one person it's throwing things and screaming at the top of your voice. For others, it's simply having an argument in a voice level above talking. Of course, I know you think it's the former, but that's because you harbor an obvious resentment of men. I have gotten loud with my wife in front of the kids before, and so has she. We have never called each other names, swore, or anything like that. Frustration happens, especially when you don't live in a world of silver spoons.
I think what Ms. Confused needs to do is sow her oats. And hopefully before she realizes she's turning into a door knob (where everyone takes a turn) she'll realize what she had (although she aparently does now - according to her posts), but it doesn't sink far enough into her brain because she has no point of reference if he is, in fact, the only person she's dated. Hopefully she'll just come to her senses and he will be around and willing to take her back before one of these guys she wants to take in to help her reach an epiphany does something to her or the kids.
Checking a phone is a normal response, especially if she has shown infidelity (which she has) or at least tendancies towards that end. I notice you didn't address that, CESpeed, but hey, it's a girl so it's okay, right?
Look at the situation. Look what she's done to her marriage... her kids.. her husband... and herself. What should have happened? She should have given the kids to the husband, and left to find herself. If it brought her back to them, and they were willing to accept her, fine. If not... well hey, she discovered life!
I'm not anti-Ms.Confused. I'm anti-what she's done and the chronic bad decisions she makes one after another. Especially when other people read these posts (as many women and men here have) and reach similar conclusions.
She said she was going to stay away from the boards for 6 months, and that hasn't happened either. She needs to figure out who the hell she is, and what she wants. She needs to do it alone.. without kids. They will be just another excuse (like the husband was) for her not to figure out who she is and what she wants. She needs time.... alone. Only then, once she knows who she really is and what she wants, can she make decisions that are best for her relationship (to include her kids).
I've decided that Ms. Confused is really just an attention junkie. And even having scorn heaped on her gives her a high, like when my youngest son eats too much Cap'n Crunch.
I've decided that Ms. Confused is really just an attention junkie. And even having scorn heaped on her gives her a high, like when my youngest son eats too much Cap'n Crunch.
ya think? Let's see, 4 threads, count them FOUR threads started in roughly 2 months time. All about the same situation. All of them seeking advice for her to sift through and find something wrong with.
Great points, Rath. You need some reps here. Yes, CE's posts have a serious anti-male bias. They're so slanted as to detract from credibility. If there's a guy involved, he's automatically the culprit. No sense of fairness whatsoever.
Like you, I don't hate Ms. Confused. I'm really mad at her, but no hate here. I just want her to come to her senses and stop being, well, so confused.
It's not MY fault that the person having a hissy fit is the man. And that the person going through the phone is the man. I actually belong to a couple of men's rights groups. I feel that men do get the shaft whe nit comes to family. But when the man is being irrational,???
(I took Alec Baldwin's side on the voicemail issue)
It's not MY fault that the person having a hissy fit is the man. And that the person going through the phone is the man. I actually belong to a couple of men's rights groups. I feel that men do get the shaft whe nit comes to family. But when the man is being irrational,???
(I took Alec Baldwin's side on the voicemail issue)
You're right. It's not your fault. It's the woman in this relationship's fault. I do think the phone thing is a bit much, especially since I have been on the receiving end of that junk..........Again, why do you think he is being irrational? If his wife weren't destroying his life and provoking him with nutty behavior, maybe he could be rational. Don't you understand that? How in blazes is he supposed to act? Cool and clinical?
He is not suppose to blow up in front of the children. If he is upset, then he should have talked to her and left the children out of it. She is not the only person in the relationship; therefore, she isn't the only one who ruined the relationship.
He's suppose to maintain control no matter what she is doing. She didn't having screaming fit in front of the children he did. Why? Because his wife is having an identity crisis and since he wasn't helping she asked him to move out. If he was in control he could figure out how to keep his family together rather than acting like a child.
Well he got his Uhaul today and starting moving. Last night he kind of freaked out and threw a fit. He started calling me names and told me (in front of the kids) that I just ruined everyones life. I just want to sleep with other people. And he told the kids not to trust me. I just sat back and said nothing because I did not want to escalte the matter with the kids there.
After all was calm, he came over to me and said he did not mean it he is just scared about moving. (this is not the first time he has pulled stuff like this with the kid aroune) We talked for a while and I said something like "you are helping me want to work things out when you act like that, It makes me think we are better off apart". When I said that he got upset and said Screw our counciling, he is done with it. He said he was going to move and go on with his life and he did not want anything to do with me or therepy.
What do I make of this?
(if you need more info, you can read through my other 2 threads, well if you have the time lol)
I'm now confused. This above incident is an exact replica of what was said and done a few weeks back. I mean, exactly.
Location: from houstoner to bostoner to new yorker to new jerseyite ;)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad
You're right. It's not your fault. It's the woman in this relationship's fault. I do think the phone thing is a bit much, especially since I have been on the receiving end of that junk..........Again, why do you think he is being irrational? If his wife weren't destroying his life and provoking him with nutty behavior, maybe he could be rational. Don't you understand that? How in blazes is he supposed to act? Cool and clinical?
I'm a woman and a feminist and I don't blame this guy one bit. She hasn't done anything to make him check her phone, except... oh, kiss a co-worker! Which she never even came clean to him about, unless I missed that post, which is entirely possible after sifting through all this rigamarole. She has put this poor man on an emotional rollercoaster for no good reason. She doesn't even know what she wants. One minute she wants a divorce, wants him out of the house; the next she wants him back again. I've been grinding my teeth just READING through these threads; I can only imagine how the poor guy must feel being made to jump through the hoops she's been putting hm through. If I had to deal with Ms. Confused... well, I feel for him, is all I can say. If he is the irrational one, there are no words to describe her.
He is not suppose to blow up in front of the children. If he is upset, then he should have talked to her and left the children out of it. She is not the only person in the relationship; therefore, she isn't the only one who ruined the relationship.
He's suppose to maintain control no matter what she is doing. She didn't having screaming fit in front of the children he did. Why? Because his wife is having an identity crisis and since he wasn't helping she asked him to move out. If he was in control he could figure out how to keep his family together rather than acting like a child.
So.......she has already said it's her fault and the identity crisis is of her doing....but it's his job to help her out of an identity crisis. And then she wants him to move out because of her insanity. Good thing this wasn't my wife. She'd be the one rollin' on with the stick and the bundle. You have got one Pollyannaish way of looking at this. She screws up, and it's his fault. Because he's a guy. OK, got it. She causes the problem and you put it on him instead of her. Right.
Her: "I'm sick of being married to you. I want to leave you. I am not attracted to you anymore and want to go out and sow my wild oats. BTW, I want you to move out and see the children only when I want you to see them, like a couple of times a month. Sound good?
Him: "Hmm. Okay. Let's be rational and calm and cool about this. After all, I'm supposed to maintain control even though you have just destroyed my life and that of the children. Yeah. I'll agree to everything you said. Sounds good. I'll get my junk and get out of your life. Hope that fixes your identity crisis."
Are you kidding me? You are expecting a helluva lot from the man and a helluva little from the woman.
I've decided that Ms. Confused is really just an attention junkie.
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Which she never even came clean to him about, unless I missed that post, which is entirely possible after sifting through all this rigamarole. She has put this poor man on an emotional rollercoaster for no good reason. She doesn't even know what she wants. One minute she wants a divorce, wants him out of the house; the next she wants him back again. I've been grinding my teeth just READING through these threads; I can only imagine how the poor guy must feel being made to jump through the hoops she's been putting hm through. If I had to deal with Ms. Confused... well, I feel for him, is all I can say. If he is the irrational one, there are no words to describe her.
