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Old 12-23-2008, 07:58 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,045,943 times
Reputation: 46669

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Quote:
Originally Posted by desert20 View Post
Like I said, I am giving her what she really wants, every time she tries to have sex, but I stop her because I know her thoughts are being "clouded" with what we were doing prior. She always ends up close to crying because she realizes how close she was to going against what she wants (staying a virgin till shes married). I guess its a good thing that Im the guy she is, who is actually respectful unlike a lot of others who wouldn't think twice in that situation.
I think I understand better than you do. It's about as plain as the nose on your face. She wants to get it on with you, and you won't let her. She's really wanting to do it, but you're wanting to be noble. Then, of course, she has to go back to being little Miss Virtue to keep up appearances.

She's not crying because she almost had sex. She's crying because she didn't have sex. She's ready to go and you're stopping her.

You need to understand something. There's often an immense difference between what women say and what women mean. The sooner you learn this, the happier you'll be in your relationship.
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Old 12-23-2008, 07:58 AM
 
90 posts, read 622,714 times
Reputation: 72
Quote:
LOL...ROFLMAO! ....all this time?...wahhhhhhhhhhh

Hmr ok, ok...

You're soooo young. Here's a mistake I made. I was popular, I was arrogant. I married the cheerleader. It was so much about the sex, that she even said "if a marriage was based on sex, we'd have the perfect marriage." I didn't even like her when I agreed to marry her. Why did I marry her? Because my friends liked her, my mom liked her, my mom suggested I ask her! Meanwhile at the same time there was a girl who I did like, "she wasn't a beauty, but hey she was alright!" We could talk, we shared interests, we got along fine. Here was the BIG PROBLEM with her, not a problem I had, mind you, but what others had with her...two small kids! Horror of horrors!

You are not best friends with this girl, heck from your description you aren't even friends. Your sex partners! And she's seemingly decided that the sex is good enough to cement a relationship with you. RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Your friends don't like it? ...Get new friends!
Your parents don't like it?..tell them to adopt her!

It's your life, live it! Be alive, make your OWN MISTAKES and hopefully learn from them.
id appreciate it if you read the other posts i have made in here before you reply...
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:04 AM
 
90 posts, read 622,714 times
Reputation: 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I think I understand better than you do. It's about as plain as the nose on your face. She wants to get it on with you, and you won't let her. She's really wanting to do it, but you're wanting to be noble. Then, of course, she has to go back to being little Miss Virtue to keep up appearances.

She's not crying because she almost had sex. She's crying because she didn't have sex. She's ready to go and you're stopping her.

You need to understand something. There's often an immense difference between what women say and what women mean. The sooner you learn this, the happier you'll be in your relationship.
Im sorry, but you dont know her personally. Even if you were to meet her and never have a relationship come out of it, you would be able to understand that she really doesnt want to have sex right now. As I said, anyone will get worked up and forget their virtues when things get hot and heavy. As someone before replied, its just a natural thing. When you get worked up from about 20-30 minutes of foreplay, you tend to throw all thoughts but one out the window "i want to have sex" But with me, I can dicern between my thoughts even when there should be very few. I dont know any guys my age thats capable of doing that, and Ive even asked friends, all say they just cant stop themselves.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:09 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,045,943 times
Reputation: 46669
Quote:
Originally Posted by desert20 View Post
Im sorry, but you dont know her personally. Even if you were to meet her and never have a relationship come out of it, you would be able to understand that she really doesnt want to have sex right now. As I said, anyone will get worked up and forget their virtues when things get hot and heavy. As someone before replied, its just a natural thing. When you get worked up from about 20-30 minutes of foreplay, you tend to throw all thoughts but one out the window "i want to have sex" But with me, I can dicern between my thoughts even when there should be very few. I dont know any guys my age thats capable of doing that, and Ive even asked friends, all say they just cant stop themselves.
Oh, don't pat yourself on the back.

I don't know your girlfriend, but I do know women. If a woman wants to lose it with a guy, she's already made the decision beforehand. Everything else is a smokescreen. Unless she's had too much to drink, she is in control of herself at all times, and you don't realize it.

I mean, what are you looking for here? Validation? You're wanting to tell us how the world should be, and we're telling you how the world really is, based on considerably more knowledge and experience.

And I can also tell you that she's so ready to go that, if you don't give it up, she'll go somewhere else, whether by breaking things off with you or just getting it on the side. It's a tale of woe as old as the human species itself, and you and your girlfriend just aren't the pure and shining exception.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:12 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,077,240 times
Reputation: 2048
What makes you think I didn't? But your initial post pretty much seems to explain your feeling, all the others are simply you expounding, a little back peddling.

YOU'RE A NICE GUY!

You want to be that hero,the one she's holding out for. Her gibralter. You're romantic..you sound like a Taurus.

It's incredibly hard to explain this to one like yourself,believe me, I know, but you need to worry more about your wants and needs,(and I know you feel you are, but you aren't) rather than all the awesomeness you're going to bring to the table for some gal. That list you made is incredible. It also AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN! When you try to be such a giver...you end up getting hooked by a reciever!

An old highschool female acquantance of mine said these chilling words to me "I always knew you'd end up with some user b#tch", "You were just too nice, you tried to make every girl you dated feel like the only girl in the world"
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:13 AM
 
90 posts, read 622,714 times
Reputation: 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Oh, don't pat yourself on the back.

I don't know your girlfriend, but I do know women. If a woman wants to lose it with a guy, she's already made the decision beforehand. Everything else is a smokescreen. Unless she's had too much to drink, she is in control of herself at all times, and you don't realize it.

I mean, what are you looking for here? Validation? You're wanting to tell us how the world should be, and we're telling you how the world really is, based on considerably more knowledge and experience.

And I can also tell you that she's so ready to go that, if you don't give it up, she'll go somewhere else, whether by breaking things off with you or just getting it on the side. It's a tale of woe as old as the human species itself, and you and your girlfriend just aren't the pure and shining exception.
Im not trying to tell anyone how it is, Im just telling from my point of view and my own personal experiences. And I also know there are no exceptions in life, no matter how good or bad you are, things will happen, whether you like them to or not, its the way life usually works. Just have to go with the flow of it.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:16 AM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 5,077,240 times
Reputation: 2048
This is the same sort of thread as confused...He outlines his dilemma, then tells us "we don't know" He's just too smart for us...god please help him...he's me 25 years ago!
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:23 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,045,943 times
Reputation: 46669
Quote:
Originally Posted by optiflex View Post
This is the same sort of thread as confused...He outlines his dilemma, then tells us "we don't know" He's just too smart for us...god please help him...he's me 25 years ago!
I know. This is driving me crazy. Opti, wouldn't you agree that this girl wants banging? But because her boyfriend is being pious, she can't really admit it to him?
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:27 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,045,943 times
Reputation: 46669
Quote:
Originally Posted by desert20 View Post
Im not trying to tell anyone how it is, Im just telling from my point of view and my own personal experiences. And I also know there are no exceptions in life, no matter how good or bad you are, things will happen, whether you like them to or not, its the way life usually works. Just have to go with the flow of it.
Your personal experiences don't amount to bupkis. You're 20. And given you're responses to our well-considered replies, you don't listen to what anybody's really saying--your girlfriend included.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:31 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,913,090 times
Reputation: 15255
She sounds very immature.

Sorry. I think you are both too young to be getting all involved physically or emotionally. It's obvious to me that you are trying to establish something with a girl who gets upset on a whim.

Today the world is into this "booty call" and "friends with benefits" thingy. I never had that growing up. You had to get to know her, take her out on dates and become somewhat friends. Now, well, you can get to the dessert without even sitting at the dinner table.

Hope you can see this is just a stepping stone to adulthood. I think she needs about 10 years before she will get into a serious relationship. It also sounds like she is a bit selfish too. Like, "I like the way you make me feel."

I would say move on and find someone who doesn't mind just being your friend and walking hand and hand in the park.

Hope it all works out.
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